Dating Thread 156 - It is hot hot hot

[midcenturylegs]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

shitwith yes he is not an iron as it’s not going anywhere. I will no longer initiate contact with him. If he wants me he will have to make the effort. Got some new 🔥 irons on the go 😁 I am so happy for you and bookworm and cannot wait for my divorce to be finalised. I think the good thing to have come out of Mr Big is I have realised I don’t want a FWB or NSA I want a relationship!

Names for new irons
Mr Tats and Mr TriBeard

@Notcoolmum and @Crustaceans both totally true.

I do think he's with her and has now realised that he needs to find someone near his own age and that's why he's been looking. But regardless that's not me! I could never be with a man like that.

Serious issues, and not his first time.

I know we can't name, but as a warning watch out for a guy in sunny Cleathorpes

I desperately need new irons but struggling.

Mr No Hair hasn’t been in contact since coming over yesterday, I feel a bit used even though I don’t want anything serious with him, a small text would have been nice but no, nothing.

All my other irons are a bit boring.

lifegoes what a lucky escape you have had!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 with a name like Mr. TriBeard, I think I want to date this man too! That beard sounds awesome!

@Lifegoeson Accidentally started reading page 1 of this thread and you were describing how you had a connection with this guy... but now we know the truth about him. It just goes to show how skilled a player can be, and those of us that enter into these things with an open heart don't really stand a chance. :(

@MrDrummer totally true. It explains his lack of contact when he got home as he was with her. It explains a lot tbh.

I'm seriously considering giving up on the OLD I can't see how I'm ever going to meet someone that isn't a total cock

@lifegoes They are out there, but the bad-uns walk like us, talk like us but look better than us. Typically, you aren't going to hear about them on this thread too much.

I think a break sounds reasonable. Much healing needed.

I know how you feel lifegoes but I do think the rules are helpful. It’s not real until it’s real, not over investing etc. You have had a run of bad luck though for sure.

So Mr S and I have chatted and we are still on. I just feel a bit wary. We all come with so much baggage.

@lifegoes I think there are plenty of decent people out there but sometimes a break is worthwhile to get yourself back together again. You live and learn unfortunately.

@notcoolmum I hate that wary feeling. At this age It's so hard to know if it's legit gut instinct or baggage related.

@MrDrummer def taking a break to sort my head out.

@Notcoolmum tbh I don't feel hurt that he's gone. I'm angry at myself that I was fooled by his lies. That I told him things about myself that he then actually did to me. I don't even miss him today. I'm not angry at him I'm just sick of being let down.

I'm glad you have had the talk it's awful to feel wary but also good as it keeps you alert. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

@Marlboroandmalbec34

Yeah it was quite good, I think I would if he was up for it as well.

What does an iron mean, I see a few of you saying it.

@SimonJT irons are potential dates!

Oh lifegoes, what a horrible man.

Simon I DID go up to London for Extinction Rebellion! .
Met a lovely man in RL there, but....I live 400 miles away, so that's that, really .

Feeling a bit down today. Loads of swiping on Bumble, but no more matches. They were so easy to come by in the first few weeks...think I've exhausted the pool already. This is what comes of living in such a faraway, rural area.

I suppose I have one iron, Mr Silver Screen- he's up for meeting up in theory - after the whole excitement around the Avengers release dies down (no, he's not an actor, he works in a cinema!).

SimonJT Glad your date went well, I found It hard to work out what was "normal" and what was me filling empty space in the conversation with mindless drivel, I just don't have a frame of reference.

Iron, is short for "iron in the fire". As in a potential date.

supercali that is exactly it. I can’t tell the difference between instinct and paranoia. What is me expecting the worst or what is an actual intuition. How do you know if you can trust someone?

This is all still related to Mr S’s wife. He has reassured me there is no going back. That it’s clear on both sides but that he has reasons for moving slowly in divorce and financial settlement. And that is separate to me. I don’t want to be part of that. I’ve known him a few months and I was married to my ex for years after the split and considered it nobody’s business but my own. But the niggle is there. And then something will set it off.

I was inadvertently ‘the other woman’ or part of my ex partner’s double life. So am I just damaged, expecting it to happen again or are there real reasons I keep feeling this way. Argh!!

lifegoes I’m glad it’s more anger than hurt. He really is a low life in so many ways.

Just a quick update from me on my date last night with MrC (my first second date of the year) - was lovely evening 😊 and we are suppose to be meeting up again tonight whilst we are both childfree as wont be able to see each other again until later next week due to childcare

never simon glad you had good dates.

notcool this will sound very hypocritical as I am middivorce myself but I think I would be wary of getting into a relationship with a man who wasn’t yet divorced. My stbxh has a new gf of 6 months. He has asked her and her 4 kids to move in with him and they look so loved up on social media HOWEVER he asks me to give him a chance and to get back together at least weekly. I know not all men are twats like him and I am sure your iron isn’t but it would make me wary

Wow marlboro that is a cautionary tale indeed. I feel sorry for his gf. ESP as her kids are involved. I am wary. Perhaps I’ve not been wary enough. I just like him sooo much. He feels so good for me. When I’m not worrying like today at any rate. Thanks though x

I got my first "pity" kudos from @hairyarsedman on Strava!!!! I feel so validated!!

Lucky you @MrDrummer. He just blocked me on Match!

@stealthninjamum LOL!!!!

And @MrDrummer he is avoiding me on Whatsapp!

(or maybe he's just working?) @MrDrummer