Dating Thread 156 - It is hot hot hot

[midcenturylegs]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

Having blocked and unblocked, you have muddied the water quite a bit now. You'll never know if he tried to contact you tonight and if you are now wondering if he will try, you have no idea if he never intended or put off because he saw he was blocked.

Five weeks talking, going away for the weekend, then effectively ghosting you doesn't really add up. I think he has been a bit of a twat though. Unless he had a good reason (in which case he should have said something when he had the chance today) he should have said something during the evening of the day you/he parted, even if it was "thank-you for a wonderful weekend"

@MrDrummer he hasn't been online to see he was blocked so he wouldn't have noticed.

Exactly my thoughts. His very last words after we parted our ways was "I'll text you later beautiful"

Even today after I text it's "hey beautiful"

He's a very smooth operator, I won't ever wonder if he

Hit posted too quick 🙄

I won't ever wonder if he'll text as he has burnt all bridges with me. I will not tolerate being treated like this.

lack of respect and sends a very clear message of the type of man he really is. Especially as he knows how I've been treated in past and swore he wasn't like that.

Something/anything but ghost someone after texting hey beautiful. Sorry but NEXT

@lifegoes

he hasn't been online to see he was blocked so he wouldn't have noticed.

Erm, are you sure that "last online" works that way? Is this WhatsApp?

@MrDrummer yeah. It shows the last time they were online. It hasn't changed since before or after I blocked him. It's WhatsApp

@lifegoes Okay, I thought online only updated when you sent a message, but I just tested it with dd's phone and mine together and as soon as the whatsapp screen opened, she went online. Okay, fair enough. He is a real spineless piece of shit. Sorry :(

@MrDrummer he certainly is. But I can walk away with my head held high.

Anyway, I've taken up far too much of this thread with my ridiculous situation.

Apologies

@lifegoes No apology necessary. I hope it helped that the thread was here for you.

I love this thread how everyone is so supportive. Sometimes you can't always talk about stuff IRL but you know you will always get good advice here and understanding without been judged.
I often find myself thinking what would the thread do about this!

Found out that my guy has a 23yr old GF and he's 47.

I asked a mutual friend who follows him on Facebook. Posts/pictures everything

@lifegoes so sorry to hear that. At least you know now. Pack it away and move on.
He is a cheating twat and you are better off without him.

@JeSuisPrest all makes sense now

@lifegoes that's awful, I'm so sorry. At least it answers alot and you know it's nothing at all you did or didn't do (not that it would have been anyway).

What a tossed he turned out to be lifegoes. Who goes away for a weekend on a first date when they have a gf ffs.

Is there a reason you had such an epic first date rather than a bog standard coffee? Is this the one who went on holiday?

@Notcoolmum we'd been chatting for so long that it just felt right to go away, plus I was there the day before we were meeting. So easier for me to stay.

Yes that's him.

Do I tell him I know?

lifegoes that guy is a grade A wanker. So sorry. Draw a line under it, he's not worthy of you.

If you can lifegoes I would go totally NC with him. He’s a lying cheat. No good to come of it. But if you need to have you say with him to move on I understand that too. I’m so angry for you.

@lifegoes I'd just leave it now. You've got closure. Why bother telling him you know? It changes nothing other than fuelling more negative feelings. Given his behaviour to date, I dont think he would engage with you anyway. He's obviously very good at compartmentalising his life and he's probably moved on to the next "lucky" lady already. He's got what he wanted from you - the thrill of the chase and the weekend away. I'd say for your own MH leave it now and chalk it up to experience

Is there room for another one on the smitten bench? I appear to be in my first post divorce proper relationship. He was originally a Fab FWB which turned serious. We had a wobble a few weeks ago where he'd logged into Fab after the exclusive discussion but that's been explained and resolved, he passed the honey trap and hasn't been on since. I've been introduced to his friends and we're away together this weekend. It's been 3 months since our first "date" but only a month since we've been exclusive so early days and moving very slowly, we've both been through cheating exes and divorces so slow is good.

I'm sorry this has happened life,what a nasty piece of work.

like this sounds lovely :)

Can I just ask how far away everyones irons/partners live? I've got my pof on 10 miles but there isn't too much about. Sometimes I put 20miles but i'm getting people forty minutes away. Can that work? Thanks peeps

@lifegoes what a piece of shit

Been reading but not feeling like saying much. Lots of good news. And a few twat heads....

@kerkyra MrCornish is 30 miles away (40 minute drive). It's probably the limit of what I would be prepared to do on a regular basis (a couple of times a week, with him doing the same). It's an hour round trip to get a Chinese takeaway from his house 🤔. I don't think I could do proper rural living...

@Peanuthedz You OK?

@lifegoes I'd draw a line under it. Do you really need your mind taken up by getting angry or revenge on him? I always think karma gets these nasty people in the end.

Still no date set with MrTeacher though he was texting me most of the evening. Realistically we couldn't meet for 2 weeks anyway due to his childcare situation but I'm thinking he is just enjoying having a penpal. So just going to leave it at that and let him do the organising. No more irons unfortunately....