DH and younger female colleague’s wats app exchange. Dodgy?

[ashamforallseasons]

Context is they have a new client in Singapore who they have been given the option to either schedule a phone meeting with or visit (at their own company’s expense.)

DH: can you do either 15,16 or 17 may in Singapore?
Colleague: yes! Exciting! Who’s coming?
DH: you and me. Have a look at the flight options and let’s make a plan. Ok?
Colleague: yes, really looking forward.
DH: cool 😎
Colleague: OK I looked. Flights are tricky. I want to get there in time to have a day and a really nice dinner that first evening as the rest will be work.
DH: Next time!
DH: Or we stay an extra night and make a day of it?
Colleague: let’s see.
DH: we can always go back another time
DH: ok i’ve Looked at flights again. We can have a long lunch that first day?
Colleague: ok. I’m looking forward. Can’t wait to get a break.
DH: alternatively could you fly early Sunday?
Colleague: what time on Sunday?
DH: early, so we can hang out, have lunch, have dinner etc.
Colleague: ok great. It is better we do this meeting in person, isn’t it?
DH: yes. If you want to come later on Sunday it’s okay too.
Colleague: no; the longer away the better for me. Just want a break.

Hmmm. I must be paranoid because I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable about this.

hmm, I'd think that they're both looking forward to it a bit too much??

And the fact that neither of them has said anything ''dodgy'' (yet) could just be because neither wants to emotionally expose themself first.

I think the keenness to hang out is worrying.

The 'we's could be referring to the two of them, them and other colleagues or clients too. Not clear. But to me it reads like a couple of colleagues making the most out of a trip abroad but also being mindful that the other may not want to go on certain days or stay longer than is necessary

Younger colleague can't have travelled much with work so it's still a novelty. Would watch her because she's probably very naive

About travel

I would speak like the colleague has. A trip away is exciting and I'd react the same way. I get quite enthusiastic and excited about stuff...honestly doesn't seem bad to me

Seems fine to me. Would you be less bothered if the colleague was older?

You must be feeling some type of way about this, op. Any back story?

“We can always go back another time”

Yes planning a holiday with another woman is totally innocent

Two people making the best of what would other wise be a long trip for a meeting. They like each other and enjoy each other’s company enough to eat together and sightsee. Neither are dashing to get back.

With my DP it would be the last point that mattered if I was suspicious of him and his feelings for me. He hates being away. So I would maybe see a slight.

But I wouldn’t get myself in a tizz because they were making the most of a shot work trip and were friendly enough to have dinner.

He seems pretty keen to spend time with her.

Yes planning a holiday with another woman is totally innocent

No, but knowing that future work meetings may well be required is .

What kind of company is this that’ll fund a trip to Singapore when a phone call will do?

Totally normal to get a bit of a jolly with a business trip. She says she just wants to get away.

I wouldn't be happy. He seems focused on nice dinners and lunches and spending time with her rather than the reason for the trip. Didn't they invent telephones and email to avoid unnecessary travelling?

From the look of it, he's pursuing her/taking the temp of the situation.

Don't know about her, could be keen for free travel, young, not yet bored and fed up with work trips ... could be flattered, but not necessarily, could just be naive.

He's the issue, more office experienced, married, he'll know perfectly well that colleague work trip jollies are day touring the Eiffel Tower, not candle lit fine dining in it.

The friendly (and overly chipper) but not yet overly familiar language on his part indicates that an affair had not yet occurred, but he's willing.

Sorry OP, I think your instinct is correct.

I travel with work and this is the kind of conversation I’d have with my colleagues tbh. We recently made a meeting in Spain into a 2 day trip so we could do some team bonding If it was a male you wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this I don’t think, so it feels ok to me.

One of my colleagues is going to South America in July for work, and there was a strong chance I’d have to go too. I didn’t really ant to go, and he said, “Look, it’ll be good, we’ll have some good food and get drunk and have a laugh.” And then we planned a few places to visit etc while we were there. We get on well, but there’s absolutely no attraction between us, your DH’s conversation with his work mate sounds like that to me.

Sounds like they are in a business to business type company ? IT subcontractors? So the other company is billed for the work. I can certainly see a situation where this could occur.

I’m not sure if I think the messages themselves are dodgy, certainly if the colleague was a man I’d not suspect anything which makes me think that the conversation is fine but there is something else which worries you?

The only bit that would bother me is the suggestion that they stretch the trip a bit.

Nothing about that stands out to me. There’s nothing to even indicate it’s a conversation between a man and a woman - could be two men or two women chatting.
Do you have reason not to trust him?

I thought it looked ok until your husband said "Next time!" After that it seems like he's pushing it a bit much, he comes off as too keen. I don't think his colleague has said anything to suggest she's interested in anything other than getting a free trip out of it.

It's dodgy. What has he told you about this trip?

I'm surprised at the responses.

I'd lose my shit over this...maybe I'm crazy though!