What is the norm wrt rent when having a partner move in with you?

[glassofh2o]

DP and I have been dating for a little less than a year now, and we've been talking about moving in together. She'd be moving into my place since it's literally right across the street from her place of work. Thus far, the only other person I've ever had living with me was my ex boyfriend who paid half the rent. That's not quite possible with DP now though, given her salary. She's also said that in the past, none of her ex-girlfriends charged rent since they'd be paying the same if they were living alone anyway. That doesn't sound fair though, does it?

What's the so-called norm when it comes to something like this?

I don't think there is a norm but she should pay a proportion that's appropriate to her earnings and should pay towards bills too.

Do you own the property? If so, I'm not sure it would be fair to charge her rent as she doesn't have any rights to it if you split, but she should contribute towards the bills.

If you rent, then she should be on the tenancy anyway and would be liable for rent. A lot of landlords / agencies say anyone 18 or over living in the property should be on the tenancy agreement.

It's not fair, no, she's taking the pee...

When I moved in with my partner, I paid around £250 a month which covered bills and made a token contribution to the mortgage, though not enough I'd be able to assert some kind of ownership if we'd split. Even when I was living with parents I paid £150 and that was 20 years ago.

Don't let her mug you.

Sounds like she's dropping hints to freeload off you which wouldn't impress me.

Tell her that you could always move in with her for free and she could pay all the rent while you pay nothing seeing as it isn't costing her anymore! See how she likes that idea.

How much does she pay now at her current place? Could she pay that amount to you?

Where is she staying now?

What?!?! NO. Moving in rent free to a partners house is NOT the norm. If she was a man everyone would be calling her/him a cocklodger. Sorry.

In my view the norm is either 50/50 or if there is a big gap between the couples earnings then a percentage split is calculated ie one pays 65% of all outgoings and the other pays 35%. I’ve know one or two people divide it differently ie one pays rent and the other pays utilities and food but that always seemed a bit messy to me.

Good luck working this out. Please don’t let yourself be taken advantage of.

So is she just a sponge in general. She has never paid rent to her partner. I would take this very slowly. Where is she living now and how much is she paying. Of course she has to pay something but that is between you two but tbh I would thread lightly.

Dont do it.

Also it sounds like your place is way too handy for her - across the road from work!! Are you sure she is moving in for the right reasons.

I never charged my then bf rent when he moved in with me but he paid all the bills - I think its whatever works for you.

Do you own the property?

I'm currently renting. This is the first place I've got "on my own" (previously, my ex boyfriend and I actively searched out places to rent together so was a completely different situation).

How much does she pay now at her current place? Could she pay that amount to you?

She moved back in with her mum (we're in our mid-20s) a couple of months ago after years of living in a flat share whilst in uni. Her mum doesn't charge her anything.

She’s taking the piss and this would raise major concerns for me. She’s clearly a fannylodger!

Well you're not her mum so she can't expect the same treatment!

Whenever I've lived with anyone, we split the rent and bills down the middle.

No way. Little Miss Sponge-a-lot. Don't let her move in. This won't end well.

I split the bills with my ex but didn’t charge him rent, it was more my home than his, so to me charging him rent seemed odd. If we had then moved, we would have shared cost 50/50 as it would be equally our home.

When we first moved in together (renting) we paid the same percentage of our salaries. So my husband paid more than me, as he earned more, but it was proportionally reasonable if that makes sense

Er... Her saying that her ex gfs didn't charge her rent makes me wonder if she's just freeloading off a series of partners???!

Either half, or proportiate to your earnings. Otherwise she's just taking the piss

This is CF territory ...

If you occupy 100% of the flat pay 100%. If you occupy 50% pay 50%. Apply to rent, utilities, tv and WiFi, food and drink.

But I would steer well clear of this woman. She is a cf freeloader and one way or another you will pay for it.

If you owned and weren’t going to share ownership I’d say don’t charge any rent but split bills 50/50.

As you rent you should both contribute - why should she get all of the financial benefit of cohabiting and you get none.

When DH moved in (then BF) he paid 40% of rent and bills as I was the higher earner

She sounds like a freeloader.

She will be living there too so it’s only fair. I’d go 50/50.

If she can't afford it then she stays with her mum.

Okay so I wasn't wrong with my initial hesitation. Ugh wish we hadn't brought up this topic in the first place but alas, what has been brought up has been brought up.

I did propose splitting the rent proportionally to our income yesterday, she declined, and told me the absolute highest she's willing to do is about £220 all-inclusive. Which IMO, if I'm being honest, is a bit ridiculous.