What is the norm wrt rent when having a partner move in with you?

[glassofh2o]

DP and I have been dating for a little less than a year now, and we've been talking about moving in together. She'd be moving into my place since it's literally right across the street from her place of work. Thus far, the only other person I've ever had living with me was my ex boyfriend who paid half the rent. That's not quite possible with DP now though, given her salary. She's also said that in the past, none of her ex-girlfriends charged rent since they'd be paying the same if they were living alone anyway. That doesn't sound fair though, does it?

What's the so-called norm when it comes to something like this?

You would be absolutely crazy to let her move in. She's shown you her true colours now and you'd also be crazy to carry on seeing her.

Why are you renting, though, when you earn such a lot?

And I agree with PPs - don't tell any partner about the money your dad gives you, and password protect your spreadsheet. It's no accident that your girlfriend found that information. I think she was looking for it.

her finding out was an accident - I religiously make excel sheets for everything and she somehow stumbled upon it when she borrowed my laptop one afternoon
That was no accident -she was deliberately snooping through your private stuff.

She's lying to you about her ex's because she's only ever lived in uni halls or with her mum.

I think she's targeted you because she wants a free ride.

Why the rush to move in together anyway? You've been together less than a year!
I bet it was her idea to move in with you given that her place of work is within walking distance?
How often does she come round/stay at yours currently?
Does she pay towards the food and utilities etc that she uses?

She isn't mature enough to be living with you.
She has no clue what being a financially responsible adult is all about.

She is blatantly trying to use you and doesn't even have any shame that she's so transparent - don't be a mug.
I think you can do a lot better than this immature, spoilt little girl.
Tell her that you are NOT a replacement mother and if she wants a free ride she can carry on living with her mum.

This has disaster written all over it.
You need to keep the person out of your apartment!...whichever she is going to end up freeloading.

She has had multiple live-in relationships and not paid rent? That is not normal. Living with a romantic partner is a big step that she doesn’t seem to take seriously.

As a general rule

"At least 20% of your income should go towards savings. Meanwhile, another 50% (maximum) should go towards necessities, while 30% goes towards discretionary items. This is called the 50/30/20 rule of thumb, and it's popular quick-and-easy advice."

Agree with fanny lodger. She is taking advantage, don’t do it

charged rent

Where has this language come from? It's a relationship not a lodging.

450 sounds reasonable. I lived in London on 1200 fifteen years ago and paid 350 rent while paying off a credit card.

If she does move in the "right" thing to do would be to reduce what your parents give you by the amount she pays.

If she doesn't want to then she isn't invested in the relationship and your future at this time.

I don't like all the hating comments of her on here.

Half the food and bills would be much more than that amount.

I'm sure you'd have been prepared to sub her more if she'd at least pretended to want to pay her own way.

She's a clodger and too keen to move in with you.

She thinks she's hit the jackpot. Forget about her moving in. You'll never get rid of her and you'll end up paying everything.

Your income is £7,600/month (half salary and half from Mummy and Daddy)
Your rent is £2,100/month
You have £5,500 left to play with
Even allowing for other bills you have an insane amount of disposable income
You have investments (why on earth haven't you bought a home? Seems crazy to throw away money on rent)

Your girlfriend's income is £1,900/month
If you split the rent proportionate to income, her contribution should be £420/month

I suspect the two of you are not compatible though, you sound like a selfish rich kid and she sounds cheeky not wanting to contribute a fair enough.

a fair amount

Fuck a duck! @ Emma's calculation!! While she's indeed a CF are you also just seeing her as yet another source of income for you? Maybe you are in fact a perfect match!

Reason I haven't bought a house is that I've been angling for an overseas posting (same company) and am not sure if I'll ever be coming back once I'm there. So to me, everything here is just "temporary" (we're on the final leg of this project we've been working on at work, and will be done around early Sept which is when I'll be submitting my request for the move).

So the relationship might end if and when you relocate, then.

Have you told your girlfriend about that plan?

She's clearly taking the piss and it sounds like you want to move abroad anyway so you may as well cut your losses and end it

You’d be crazy to let her move in. Fuck that

If you owned and weren’t going to share ownership I’d say don’t charge any rent but split bills 50/50.

As you rent you should both contribute - why should she get all of the financial benefit of cohabiting and you get none.

I came on to say that.

I’m sorry to say this but I think she has seen someone with a significant income and had decided to get her feet well and truly under the table.

Yes her income is significantly less than yours but she should still pay her way and not be making demands like that.
What does she pan on doing with the rest of the money? Where does her money go?

Why does the fact that op has a lot of disposable income make her spoilt?? Yes she should pay rent and really should pay half but understand if you subsidise it because you have a lot more. If she wants to continue saving by living with her mum that's up to her.

I wouldn't move in with a partner who was paying off debt anyway (outside of student loans). You're not ready to move in together. Sounds like she needs to go and live somewhere on her own first, get a taste of the real world and do a bit of maturing, before she is able to live with a partner.

If you move in now, you'll become her substitute mum and it'll be the end of your relationship.

You may plan on never coming back now, but you change as you get older. I'd keep my options open and invest in a house in this country just so you keep abreast of the housing market.

She needs to be prepared to pay half the food and bills and contribute proportionally to the rent - at least at the beginning. Once you become an established couple and have lived together for a while, then it would be fairer to make things more equal. However this idea should come from you, not be demanded by her.

You are in your mid twenties and have a net income of £7,500 ish pcm?

But £220 total living expenses is ridiculous.

Does she know, though, that you are planning to move abroad and not come back?

Is the relationship important to you?

It all seems very strange.

It does seem a strange set up. Is the gf temporary also?

If you're aiming for an overseas posting I wouldn't go to the bother of moving in together. Why would you?

This is a bit of an epic drip feed, OP.

First reaction - she earns how much and she wants to pay how little???

Reading further - wait you have an insane amount of money per month and are planning on moving abroad soon hence not wanting to buy... why are you thinking about moving in together?
I don't think you're compatible as you sound like you are from different worlds. Have you told her your plans to leave the country?