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Original poster

What is the norm wrt rent when having a partner move in with you?

185 replies

glassofh2o · 20/04/2019 19:12

DP and I have been dating for a little less than a year now, and we've been talking about moving in together. She'd be moving into my place since it's literally right across the street from her place of work. Thus far, the only other person I've ever had living with me was my ex boyfriend who paid half the rent. That's not quite possible with DP now though, given her salary. She's also said that in the past, none of her ex-girlfriends charged rent since they'd be paying the same if they were living alone anyway. That doesn't sound fair though, does it?

What's the so-called norm when it comes to something like this?

OP posts:
RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 20/04/2019 20:26

I think it sounds like a hint to guilt you into not charging her rent otherwise why would she make the comment that none of her ex's charged her rent. Just because it's not costing you any more for her to live there, why should she get to live somewhere without paying any rent? She's not at uni now, she needs to grow up and live in the real world and I'd be telling her the same! Bloody cheeky cow.

NicoAndTheNiners · 20/04/2019 20:28

What's her take home pay?

RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 20/04/2019 20:29

I'd tell her you've changed your mind about her moving in, personally. She's working and she only wants to pay you £220 all-inclusive. Food alone for two people would be about £150-200.

FraggleRocking · 20/04/2019 20:30

That is ridiculous. She can stay living with mum!

NicoAndTheNiners · 20/04/2019 20:30

And how much higher is yours?

Don't answer if you don't want. But how cheeky she's been (and she's certainly being a bit, possibly a lot) depends how much she thinks she should keep for herself.

And how much you have left over for yourself.

When she says "all in" does she mean food as well? Because if so tell her to take a running jump. I mean I wouldn't agree to it even if it's just rent. But if it's food as well that's taking the piss. She could eat that much worth of food a month.

user1474894224 · 20/04/2019 20:31

Then let her go find somewhere else to live for £220 pcm. I bet it's nowhere near as nice as yours, or as handy for her work! Her reluctance to share bills/costs is a massive red flag. Fair enough if she said let's split it and you said 'no I earn more I'll pay more' but for someone else to suggest you pay more is unfair on you.

Duchessgummybuns · 20/04/2019 20:32

Sorry but she’s going to have to learn that grown ups pay their way in life. If she’s not prepared to contribute a reasonable amount then she stays at home with mummy end of.

Bookworm4 · 20/04/2019 20:34

£220pm is that rent, bills, food? She's a chancer, expects to be kept for £50 a week? I bloody don't think so! What's her take home pay?

ChristmasFluff · 20/04/2019 20:34

Unless she is willing to pay proportionately, find another person to move in.

I think you are seeing what she values you for (your money), so I'd be totally re-thinking the relationship if I were you. £220 all in??? WTAF?? No wonder she lives with her parents.

Wallywobbles · 20/04/2019 20:36

Big fat fucking no from me. Shelve this idea. And realistically shelve her too.

DharmaInitiativeLady · 20/04/2019 20:39

£220? This is a big red flag and a deeply unpleasant trait in someone

MyGastIsFlabbered · 20/04/2019 20:40

My boyfriend is talking about loving in with me next year. I'm expecting him to pay half the rent at the very least. No way is he moving in scot-free.

Original poster
glassofh2o · 20/04/2019 20:44

What's her take home pay?

About £1900/mth.

When she says "all in" does she mean food as well?

Yes. She means rent, bills, groceries.

OP posts:
cstaff · 20/04/2019 20:46

At least you found out now rather than after you let her move in. Don't do it.

LetsDialDownTheIanPaisley · 20/04/2019 20:46

How many girlfriends has she moved in with? Tell her to piss off.

dreichuplands · 20/04/2019 20:47

This won't end well OP, your partner has some growing up to do. 50% is normal, proportionate is kinder she is looking for a free ride though. If she is staying over does she bring food etc?

RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 20/04/2019 20:48

Fuck off!! (to her) I earn £1200 and I used to pay half my salary when it was just me and DP (these days we live like a married couple as we've got a child together so we put it all into one pot). She's taking the piss and you deserve better.

Bookworm4 · 20/04/2019 20:50

She takes home £1900 pm and expects to pay £220, what planet is she on? She'll have nearly £1700 to herself while you pay everything, how much are the rent, heating, council tax etc?

NicoAndTheNiners · 20/04/2019 20:50

£1900! Wow, she needs to give her head a wobble and you need a serious think about whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who would happily treat you like this.

NicoAndTheNiners · 20/04/2019 20:50

I honestly thought you were going to say she was on a minimum wage, part time job.

Thatnovembernight · 20/04/2019 20:54

This is genuinely shocking. I would suggest you writing out a months worth of expenses so she can see what running a home costs but I actually wouldn’t bother. She sounds like a real user. I’m so sorry.

CaptSkippy · 20/04/2019 20:55

All inclusive? What does she think you place is? A hotel? I would not let her move in with you if this is her attitude.

dreichuplands · 20/04/2019 20:56

I would imagine that losing your single person council tax discount alone could be expensive.

insomniacsdream · 20/04/2019 21:04

She's taking the absolute piss. Having dealt with a cocklodger who bled me dry I wish I'd seen the signs (or been warned). Seriously, this person is taking the absolute piss. I'd think I'd done very well if I was being kept for just the price of half the bills

LizzieMacQueen · 20/04/2019 21:06

Mid 20s yet she had had a series of relationships where she's moved in. Hmmm bit of a red flag there.

Did she know where you live before she hooked up with you?