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Original poster

What is the norm wrt rent when having a partner move in with you?

185 replies

glassofh2o · 20/04/2019 19:12

DP and I have been dating for a little less than a year now, and we've been talking about moving in together. She'd be moving into my place since it's literally right across the street from her place of work. Thus far, the only other person I've ever had living with me was my ex boyfriend who paid half the rent. That's not quite possible with DP now though, given her salary. She's also said that in the past, none of her ex-girlfriends charged rent since they'd be paying the same if they were living alone anyway. That doesn't sound fair though, does it?

What's the so-called norm when it comes to something like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
glassofh2o · 20/04/2019 21:11

I honestly thought you were going to say she was on a minimum wage, part time job.

Her logic was that she had student loans and credit card debt to pay off whereas I'm debt-free, earn a bit more than double that, and am incredibly lucky to have my parents "match" my take-home £1 for £1 to get me "started out".

A part of me understands where she's coming from, but at the same time, ever since that convo, something about this all just left a sort of bitter taste in my mouth. Hence, this thread.

Rent's about £2100/mth.

OP posts:
NicoAndTheNiners · 20/04/2019 21:14

The student loan is a percentage on her wage over a certain amount so not a huge chunk. Her credit debts are her problem not yours.

Your parents might withdraw their very generous allowance if they feel you're no longer on your own (do they really give you 4K a month).?

Hecateh · 20/04/2019 21:21

As everyone above has said

Plus she is getting an extra benefit as your place is closer to work so less time (and maybe cost) commuting

EmiliaAirheart · 20/04/2019 21:21

I hardly think you’re in a position to talk about pisstaking if your parents are chucking 4 grand at you a month! What a joke.

LetsDialDownTheIanPaisley · 20/04/2019 21:23

Do you have about £8k per month OP!? Your gf must think she's won the lottery

MissDai5y · 20/04/2019 21:33

No no no noooooo.

I'd run away from her immediately. Her ex's were idiots and you're clearly not that stupid.

She's trying to get a better ride than she's currently got for free. I can see why she'd want to pay proportionally to her income as that is a lot of rent but she's being ridiculous.

ArkAtEee · 20/04/2019 21:34

Just because you've been lucky with your parents doesn't mean she has a right to it. How would they feel about subsidizing her when she already has a decent wage?!

30not13 · 20/04/2019 21:37

How much rent would she be due to pay if you worked it out proportionately out of interest?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/04/2019 21:40

Whilst dating I'd expect nothing less than 50%. Anything less and I would think they were taking me for a mug.

orangejuiced · 20/04/2019 21:47

Well I think telling her about the money from your parents was a mistake. However she is really taking the piss here, her contribution wont even cover her share of food/council tax/utilities so I would definitely hold off living together.

RiversDisguise · 20/04/2019 22:00

Always 50/50.

She sounds like she wants to take advantage of you.

Bookworm4 · 20/04/2019 22:05

Your parents give you £4K a month? Why are you wasting £2k on rent? Get a bloody mortgage!

RiversDisguise · 20/04/2019 22:07

And yes, you have not got yourself a girlfriend but a would be exploiter/user. I'd cool off any moving in chat and take a step back. Maybe go on a wee holiday break together and see if she expects you to stump up for everything there too.

In future relationships please do not mention your parents' generosity at all.. it's no one's business and unfortunately you will attract leeches.

AnotherEmma · 20/04/2019 22:12

Say what now? You earn £3800/month and your parents give you the same amount?

Heyha · 20/04/2019 22:14

I was going to say if you don't want to change your tenancy agreement straight away, you pay rent and she pays bills. But I was assuming your rent would be £600 like it is round here, OH YEAH and that your girlfriend wasn't a CF. Sounds like you're about o have a lucky escape, OP!

stanski · 20/04/2019 22:20

Thank your lucky stars you found out about this side of her now, rather than after she'd moved in. Hell no it isn't right. 50/50 or salary proportionate and she shouldn't really benefit from your parents help either. That's very generous of them and it's to help YOU, not a wannabe female cocklodger.

Original poster
glassofh2o · 20/04/2019 22:28

How much rent would she be due to pay if you worked it out proportionately out of interest?

£450 excluding groceries.

Well I think telling her about the money from your parents was a mistake. However she is really taking the piss here, her contribution wont even cover her share of food/council tax/utilities so I would definitely hold off living together.

Unfortunately, her finding out was an accident - I religiously make excel sheets for everything and she somehow stumbled upon it when she borrowed my laptop one afternoon.

Your parents might withdraw their very generous allowance if they feel you're no longer on your own

I usually spend this on investments (mostly ETFs, Stocks, REITs, and the occasional Options), not goods and services. My dad is aware of this and is supportive as he's been doing the same all his life.

OP posts:
FluffySocks123 · 20/04/2019 22:29

"The highest she will to do" didn't realise it was eBay ....
So she'll be occupying 50% of the space - yet not contributing 50% of the bills

Well - she can enjoy living at home with her mum then can't she!
How rude

NicoAndTheNiners · 20/04/2019 22:32

2k a rent is quite high so I can see why she might struggle to pay 50% but if it's £450 in proportion then don't accept anything less.

Xyzzzzz · 20/04/2019 22:37

I wouldn’t live with her.

Wait 6 months and then see.

Grumpelstilskin · 20/04/2019 22:44

I would not let the cheeky mare move in at all. I'd also rethink my future with someone with such a shitty attitude. She is a user and act like a gold digger.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/04/2019 22:54

She can stay at her mum’s then...her choice but I’d not let her take the piss like that.

ArkAtEee · 20/04/2019 23:15

She 'found' it while borrowing your laptop Hmm password protect your private documents from now on. She sounds even cheekier.

surlycurly · 20/04/2019 23:19

Oh dear. This one is a time bomb. You're clearly an intelligent person who can calculate risks and rewards. I suggest you do so now about this woman, without the emotions. That will give you the answer you need, even if it's isn't the one you want.

stucknoue · 20/04/2019 23:36

I think you know - this is major red flag. Even if you compromise this time you don't see eye to eye on money, and your generous parental allowance is complicating matters. The relationship won't work for the long term