Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

@supercali77 😢 it's tough.
Watch Fleabag on BBC3 (catch-up), I've had a rough couple of days and it's made me laugh (and cry!)

@DaffoDeffo thanks. I know I'm opening up a can of worms on this thread here but it needs to be done.

I've not normally been worried who he's texting or looking at.
It's just getting the next stage of dating where there is less mind games and more well we kind of have a connection lets see if this works out relationship wise.
He wants more privacy so I've suggested he come to my place next time we go out.
Eeek make or break time I think.
When there is distance and less time to meet its never easy going.
No exclusive chat just lots of intense chats.

midcentury I think I know who you mean! I have also had some messages. I like the fact we have men on the thread, we support each other and I enjoy the different perspectives but I have been made to feel uncomfortable over pm and it’s kind of spoilt the thread for me

His place is horrible apparently hense why he wouldn't or hasn't asked me there.
I was like that's for confirming. House share in city.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 and @midcenturylegs this thread should be safe and supportive as @Ant330 has said it is. It shouldn't have to be solely for women and a male perspective is always useful. Predatory men however are not welcome. I'm not sure how you go about calling him out and asking him to leave but you have support from me whatever you choose to do.

unique if you're happy for him to come to your place then clearly you feel some attraction, so good luck and hope it goes well.
midcentury is there no way of reporting a user to the moderators?
And no, none of you want a link to the male version, it's just a bunch of wannabee alpha males who are more likely middle age blokes playing Fortnite in their pants or w**king into a sock at the thought of meeting any woman IRL.

@supercali77
I'm curious what the red flags were?
I know even though for me long time ago, but when you spend a night or two with someone it can be interesting. See how they live etc how you get on or If you need space after so long.

Ant
Yes some attraction but perhaps not enough. But have to see I guess. Cheers.

@StealthNinjaMum

I did google what AIBU was a few days ago... I have looked at a few. The one about "AIBU My DH won't buy me a range rover. Should I let it go?" did amuse me!!

I'm getting strange vibes too :/

I'm back on pof after my short week off. No txt from village man.

supercali sorry to hear you have some doubts and some red flags have come up. No one is perfect but hope you decide either way if he is what you want

midentury marlboro that's awful, you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable here.

The only messages I have had from men have been very polite and helpful and always after I initiated it to ask an identifying question that I didn't want in public. It is helpful having the decent guys around.

I would report the user to mumsnet and see if they can get banned.

marlboro and midcentury I've also had some messages that were just a bit over the line. I've not been here for a couple of weeks because of it. Can't see him about now though :)

@MrDrummer I think I came onto mumsnet because of an innocuous question about feeding babies or something and stumbled onto the most horrendous AIBU pile on I didn't return for about two years.

I think if a guy wants input from the women on the thread regarding their dating,thats great. And they are actively looking or dating. They offer us a different perspective so that's all good. But if someone is just lurking here for the fun/they're lonely/bored then it isn't on and quite frankly it's just weird.

Not sure the checking of profiles was needed.
Anyway,here's to a happy week of dates for everyone :)

Daffo I agree and though most people on this thread won't remember the man on here who dated someone on the thread, it does happen and is never great when it does! Just be careful and stay polite :)

Seem to remember that one had a very happy ending and remains so!

@Ant330 I don't think I can report someone for just being generally weird. But your description of the person who has made me feel uncomfortable probably fits that bill.

@Peanuthedz and @Marlboroandmalbec34 - the problem arises when we ask men to review our profiles I think. And if you have to swap numbers to do it (because of being on Bumble etc and having to send screenshots via WA). Not good - get a male friend to do it instead! For me, this thread will not be a safe place until he disappears.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 - feel free to PM if you need to.

What's the story about the thread date? I love happy endings. I still smile when I see Somerville's name come up. And there was the foreign lady last year who took about 6 months of flirting with the guy in her office and is now going out with him. To think I was offering her dating advice and a year later I'm single and don't have a clue!

midcentury if you and everyone else reports the person then mumsnet can make a decision.

If you wanna feel uncomfortable go on e chat rooms.
Other than that sexual chat or creepiness is a no no here.

In P M s

@midcenturylegs that's a real shame that it's happened from profile reviewing, because the advice I got from some of you who did that for me was great. It would be a shame if one person has cocked that up for anybody else in the future.
Maybe a list of friendly trusted reviewers who've been around for a while is an option? Not sure that will work though as it would need refreshing as people drop in and out of the threads.

Thanks all who have answered my questions about dating site recommendations.

I'd suggest using a spare Kik account for swapping profile screenshots would work if people wanted an anon option, my phone automatically offered to make two when I created one which would be handy if you had, for example, a dodgy fab account plus an account in your real name...

I remember the thread daters! I've obviously been around here too long! Glad to hear they're still together.

I found the profile reviewing helpful - even though I met current iron on Fab, and didn't have that profile reviewed. Mr BC is currently in a different time zone for work and snuck out of a meeting to speak to me for a few minutes ... am camping out on that smitten bench ....!

@BatshitCrazyWoman awwwwww

I was hoping to get a male perspective when mr Unsuitable disappears and I'm back on the apps! It would be so useful. I don't have any male friends who I'd feel comfortable asking. I don't think one dodgy bloke should prevent this.