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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

999 replies

Crustaceans · 09/04/2019 19:13

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

OP posts:
likeridingabike · 09/04/2019 20:59

You have to cut them loose lifegoes some men just don't want to meet, I still exchange the occasional message with a bloke I had one brief date with 6 months ago who still claims he wants to see me again when he's in a better place, there's always something work or family issues, always an excuse. It's not worth it.

ItsAMiracle2015 · 09/04/2019 21:00

Just an arsehole. Who wanted an ego boost and likely has something going on with someone else hence his phone 'dying' all the time. It's proper shit. And I'd be gutted too. But be sad, drink some wine and dust yourself off. You're the prize!!

shitwithsugaron · 09/04/2019 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crackofdoom · 09/04/2019 21:09

What does that emoticon mean, lifegoes?

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 21:10

Awww thank you @ItsAMiracle2015 I do feel shit. But I do think he has others, he also had a dig at me about other men texting me.

Thank you shit

@likeridingabike I hate it when it's your choice, you always question if it was the right choice.

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 21:11

@crackofdoom well I had explained why it needed to stop. He replied with his part and I said I do wish you the best 😘

He replied with 😏👋🏻. So I'm assuming "doubt it face and bye"

unique1986 · 09/04/2019 21:12

I spoke to someone recently who s had terrible luck online dating for years.
So they have now decided to try dating women instead lol
I actually have thought about this very occasionally but would be too scared to message anyone as they'd know I'm looking for men..
Also just being curious isn't really enough right?

MrDrummer · 09/04/2019 21:16

@lifegoes

When someone refuses to meet, I always work on the basis that it was never going to happen. These days, quite a red flag for me is someone saying they have never been on an OLD date before, especially if they have been on OLD for a while.

@TooOldForThis67

< Takes a bow > ;)

crackofdoom · 09/04/2019 21:17

unique that seems a bit weird unless you actually, genuinely fancy women? Unless you take the point of view that we're actually all more flexible than we think? I mean, the thought had crossed my mind, but I think it's a bit insulting to lesbians to go "Well, I'd obviously prefer men, but they're really crap, so I thought I'd settle for a woman instead".

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 21:21

@MrDrummer I'm still quite new to this OLD as some of the girls will tell you.

But I really thought oh he's so different, we just need to meet. But the two cancellations and promises to sort it. Never materialised

unique1986 · 09/04/2019 21:29

@Crack
I know what you mean.
But maybe I'm attracted to some even tho I'm not sure what way it would go.
E.g. it's one thing to enjoy lesbian films and tv another to live it in real life.
I just don't care as long as it's good acting and drama. But yeh makes you curious.

MrDrummer · 09/04/2019 21:34

@lifegoes Unfortunately, rule number 4 has applied in your case.

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 21:35

Oh I know @MrDrummer

I sometimes wonder if my profile just attracts these BS men.

WarIsPeace · 09/04/2019 21:38

I think you can appreciate than another woman is attractive without actually wanting them though. Most of us have an occasional girl crush I think, but for me, the penis bit is a bit of a deal breaker, ie essential for me. Plus to be frank I wouldn't know what to do with a fanny that isn't my own Grin

MrDrummer · 09/04/2019 21:39

Happy to review it, if you like, @lifegoes

Having said that, I can't really imagine how a profile could attract BS blokes. I think its just too easy to hide behind a couple of pictures and some text. If someone invented a bullshit detector, OLD apps would be decimated. That goes for men and woman, unfortunately.

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 21:56

Yeah I agree @MrDrummer tbh I do wonder if sometimes I just expect too much. But then Is wanting to meet someone too much ?

ccgirr · 09/04/2019 21:58

lol war is. I’m with you. Attractive sensual but need a cock! And the other bit 🤣

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 09/04/2019 22:03

Thanks for the new thread. Great title.
Especially as Mr Stubble has said he would like to meet for a drink. However, he hasn't said when.
I suggested this weekend but he isn't available. And replied "we'll definitely get something sorted".

I'd like to say I'm not going to hang around waiting for him. But he's my only iron.

MrDrummer · 09/04/2019 22:09

@lifegoes It's not expecting too much to meet someone, but perhaps expecting too much of online dating itself. There are a lot of reasons for ppl to use OLD and only one if them is to meet people for dating. Genuine people are definitely in the minority. In fact, I am giving up for the moment. I can't even get anybody to talk to me these days. :)

ccgirr · 09/04/2019 22:13

Drummer - find that so hard to believe as you seem so charismatic unless you in some remote backwater with no one near?!?

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 22:20

But he seemed to keen in fact his actual first lot of messages were about where we would meet etc. Even after he couldn't the first time he was so apologetic and tried to arrange the second (which he then cancelled) am I just being naive here @MrDrummer

StealthNinjaMum · 09/04/2019 22:24

@MrDrummer I don't understand that, you write so well on here that I can't believe you don't come across well on old messaging. I have had some really unimaginative guys approach me so I'm sure you would stand out.

@lifegoes no you don't expect too much. I can only assume he was married and/ or had lots of irons on the go and was choosing. What a twat.

Mythologies · 09/04/2019 22:25

Hi all - sorry about the flakiness that is going on :(
My date with Mr Games is still on for tomorrow night!
This is all the fault of Hairy and Bat and my random PoF profile Grin
Very tired and overworked, but going anyway and will update ... even if there is nothing to report.
Wish me luck ... have zero exceptions as we have hardly spoken and his pictures and profile are minimal - but meeting in a very public place with my bus stop (or uber) right outside.

MrDrummer · 09/04/2019 22:26

@ccgirr I have literally messaged everyone regularly online that I fancy in my area on PoF and either the convo has died within a couple of messages or got no response. Always read the profile and always write a personal message with some reference to the OP's profile.

Thank-you for the compliment, though. Just can't seem to standout from the crowd. Taken my PoF profile off line for the moment. I don't want to become part of the furniture, if you know what I mean.

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 22:26

@StealthNinjaMum he def was divorced as I checked his ex wife FB 🤦🏻‍♀️ but I do think he had lots of women on the go. Ex professional footballer so makes sense.

I've blocked him on everything now, I kept it open in hope he would come back. But s not worth it.