Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

Well he's been back this morning asking for a second chance and gave some dates to meet?

I'm unsure, do I give him a chance.

I wouldn't life but if you really liked him, go for it. Just be aware that there was a reason he didn't meet you - I'm guessing because he was seeing others?

@lifegoes his response to you wasn't great though was it? Just remember if he sucks you back in and drops you again you'll feel even worse. I think you deserve better.

After the rude emoji message lifegoes I wouldn’t!

@DaffoDeffo his reason was having his kids.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 @StealthNinjaMum you are both right. I'm just going to leave it. The damage is done

@lifegoes The part of me that likes to see the good in people thinks that maybe you rejecting him now will make him realise he's been a twat and treat the next woman better. or maybe he will always be a twat

@lifegoes I'll go against the grain and say I'd meet him. What have you got to lose by going on one date, as long as you don't overinvest this time? I'd rather regret the things I do than the things I don't. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't but I never have that "what if" feeling because I gave it a go 🤷‍♀️.

@JeSuisPrest ohhh that's the threw a spanner in. As that was my gut instinct, I don't want to live a life of "what if's". Maybe this was my lesson to not over invest.

life it could be argued that his rude emojis were a hurt reaction to being dumped by you, he's human after all. But combined with the 'perhaps' and the weird stopping of conversations and the not getting to actually meeting I think you're right to leave him to it. Flaky and petulant and generally all-over-the-place are not what anyone needs I think.

Agree wholeheartedly with Daffo: one week to meet.

JeSuis I full on guffawed at your description, thank you! I am never going to feel the same again about having a plumber round - what if he says 'butterfly valve' and I snort in my tea?

@CassettesAreCool If he says butterfly valve ask him if he's single? 😳😂

@StealthNinjaMum Off the dating topic a bit now - my child is not grown up - I'm interested in him reading that book though. I got him the 'You are Awesome!' book by Matthew Syed which is really good.

@MrDrummer I've bumped into Steve Peters IRL! In sporting terms, I've never had any chimp problems, but in dating terms ... there's a whole bloody troop of the bastards flinging their shit at me.

@JeSuisPrest Hilarious and artfully done with no mention of a malfunctioning stopcock.

matched I prefer not to multi-date but I would never expect the same from someone else - their approach to dating is theirs to choose and not for me to impose, so your MrPeru needs to cool his panpipes I'm afraid. In any case I'd be delighted if my date was multi-dating as it shows she's genuine and choosing me rather than me being the choice of first resort.

jesuis I don't think his single status will matter by that point - I will have snorted in my tea!

I did have two rather lingering hugs with my tree surgeon over the weekend - about 25, tall and muscular with a small goatee red beard. There was definitely a spark that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Ha ha marlboro I was thinking the same thing. I take a night off and there’s a whole new thread!! Good that you know how you feel about Mr Big. I’m very invested in mr S and feel sad when I leave him. We had a lovely night last night. An early evening stroll, a quick drink and lots of ... !!

Hello to all the newbies in the thread.

lifegoes I’d forgive him the not meeting as he’s now putting a plan together. But I’m not sure about his online stalking. Do you WANT to meet him?

8 months? Oh I’m so sorry. That must hurt so much.

@Notcoolmum I feel I should give him a chance. He's learnt I'll walk away and then put something together.

I do worry about the rest, but i would rather give him a chance and know, if it's been worth it.

There’s your answer then lifegoes. Give him a chance and see if he’s worth it. X

I'm still meeting Mr R he told me he doesn't want to just be friends so will make more effort to meet every week.
It's just a little awkward now as I'm not sure I fancy him as much as now.
Anyway a local guy has been messaging me wants to meet for a drink soon.
He s annoyed me though cos he's not good at small talk and doesn't seem that keen on a phone Call so I'm not gonna push.
He s asked me three times now if I live alone or with parents/room mates.
Ok asking twice is acceptable..
But again last night after saying hey how's your day..
You live on your own don't you?
I said yes why?
He replied just wondered.
Then asked if my family lived near by.
Should I just block?

@hairyarsedman I'll let you know what I think of the book, it should be coming today. I bought the 'You are Awesome' book too and daughter read it and carried on sulking. I'm going to rescue it from her pit of a bedroom to have a read myself so I can discuss it with her.

I'm in soft play and there is a man on his own with a very big beard here. I might smile at him and watch him run like hell

Haha do it stealth

unique maybe he is just multi chatting and forgetting?

notcool what’s the situation with Mr S?

Yeah maybe.
Still doubt I'll meet in a hurry now.

Ok so I've ordered the chimp book and the awesome book. My bedside reading pile gets higher while I faff on MN.

I think I need to finish with mr Unsuitable. He's so negative and grumpy. I've spent the best part of my life fighting my own negativity and I'm not sure I want to put up with someone else's now I've got rid of mine.

I keep thinking about ginger beards and swiping too. I'm pretty sure it's a pattern for me though. I go all loved up immediately then it wears off after about 6 weeks. I guess eventually there'll be someone who lasts.

We're spending the afternoon together maybe into evening I'm not sure. I'll see how it goes. He'll know if he's staying in the country or not by the beginning of next week and I guess that might change his mood. It's just not much fun and 6 weeks in it should be. I've got plenty of my own shit to deal with which I don't lay on him.

I'm hypersensitive to other people's mind states too so I'm finding when I'm with him I'm panicked at the moment.

Aaaargh pretty down today all in all.

Oh i has that once with a guy @unique1986 asked me multiple times about certain things. Even when we had arranged a date and time to meet. Kept saying so where are we meeting blah blah. In the end I didn't meet him, I just thought if you have to keep asking the same questions over and over. I'm not here to repeat myself. Bye.

Soz for no replies. I'm reading.

I'm liking @CassettesAreCool ginger tree surgeon.... and @Crustaceans first view of mr SG. Hope you got/get to Paris.

peanut 6 weeks in should be fun fun fun. Sorry you’re feeling down!

Just matched on tinder with a guy who is 6ft 6!!! Stubbly and lives less than a mile from me. He has messaged me! I am going to make an effort to not accidentally ghost him just because Mr Big is messaging 😂

Sorry to disappoint but I sat and gazed at bearded man like a mad woman while he looked at his phone. He was joined by a woman who is now clearly guarding him from me.

I hope she's not lurking on this thread. I'm in the north of England. Yes really.