Dating thread 153- The adventures of... [Title edited at OP's request]

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

@BatshitCrazyWoman On her youtube page but still can't work out which video it is :/

@MrDrummer

You might want to clarify that fb means facebook!@kerkyra

😂😂

Mind fuckery video

👍

kerkyra hope you don’t mind me asking a random question but what was your previous user name?it’s bothering me lol as couldn’t remember your previous name but remember some of your previous comments!

coco it was user something or other.

I'm not at all tech savvy,poor man4all seasons helped me on my profile but I couldn't even work out how to see his!

Thanks JeSuis

Thanks kerkyra - that’s why I was getting confused because from your posts under new name you had mentioned about the meeting to take profile photos with other poster and I was thinking I’m sure that was someone else and I was getting confused!
And thanks to bats for video link - I will have a look later.
As for me-6 weeks in and still firmly smitten but both have outside stresses atm on both sides which I’m hoping will be resolved in next few months.

I have been catching up with this thread and cheering on those of you who have had good experiences and sending virtual hugs to those of you who have not been having such a good time. Too many people to name individually, so sorry for being a bit 'sweeping' with my post.

Kerkyra I agree with Batshit that you should go back to him saying it was nice to meet him but feel that there was no chemistry and wish him luck in finding someone.

Please don't put yourself down or compromise on your needs - it can be tough finding the right person but better to be single than dating someone who you don't really fancy and/or have nothing in common with. I have been known to have a second date with someone out of sympathy and trust me, it is shit. Far better to end things politely now than drag them out. You won't feel any differently about him after a second date, trust me. And he will have been given false hope.

On a personal note, I am feeling very positive about Mr Outdoors and looking forward to seeing him on Thursday evening. He seems to be a genuinely nice guy and the chemistry is definitely there. It is a shame that he lives an hour's drive away from me (down scary winding country roads!) as I am not a big fan of driving long distances in rural areas, but I am putting that aside for now. I have been half-heartedly messaging a few other irons but I haven't even thought about giving them names and have not arranged to meet anyone else.

Kerkyra - he lives with parents?
Drummer and batshit - video is spot on 🤣 May have to watch some of the others

Thanks lily,those were kind words. I will send a txt saying I've decided i'm not really ready to date but happy to be friends.
Thing is,he picks his dc daughter up from the same school (only once a week thank god)and theres only 70 kids so it's small. Want to be able to give a friendly hello if we're passing.
He has already txt twice saying I bet I have a smile on my face after meeting him and he will wait till i'm ready. I've actually got a bit of anxiety over this!

Right,thanks for helping,i will sort. And delete off pof for a week too

yes,lives with parents

@kerkyra bet you have a smile on your face. That's quite confident! Sounds like his ego is big enough to cope with a knock back!

kerkrya ooh a bit more awkward when you have to see him IRL. But probably an even better reason to call an end to things and not drag them out. I'd definitely do the 'had a lovely time but there was no spark' message. Good luck!

Ive just sent it! phew. Just said i'm not quite ready to date but lets stay friends,maybe the odd cuppa (my round) and I am deleting off pof as need a few weeks off ( just did that too).

I have quite a few male friends who I meet up with so i'm happy if he likes that idea.

Luckily only started chatting yesterday so his investment should be small?!

I feel even worse now. He doesn't want to be friends does he.

Will read the thread and forget

Did you get the job you went for love?

Would you reply to someone who has been online for years on and off?
like you almost didn't recognise them as its been 5 years or so.
Obv got older and can't get the good looking girls anymore.

If someone has been on and off with large gaps like a year,i would.
But if they are forever on there I would ask why? Some men just aren't able to commit after being single for ages

unique1986 depends why they've been online for so long.
I've been on and off OLD for nearly 3 years now. Not through choice or because I can't commit.
I struggle to find anyone who is interested in me. Even to chat with, never mind actually getting a date.

kerkyra don't feel bad. You couldn't have treated him better. You let him down gently after one date. And it sounds terribly dramatic to say he doesn't want to be friends. You did the right thing.

unique1986 I would always give someone a chance (but maybe I'm too nice) but drop them at the slightless clue that they can't commit or if any other personality defects arise.

Hi everyone
Right shag date and sleepover with Mr Big tonight...Should I wear:

A) Nice undies, jeans and a top?
B) A basque, stockings and suspenders with a knee length, long sleeved dress and ankle boots?

Is B overkill?? 😂 I have so little glamour in my life that I kind of think dress up but is it too much effort for a FWB situ?

Marlboroandmalbec34 go for option B. Why not if it makes you feel good!

Would you be wearing B for your own enjoyment /titillation? If yes then go for it, anticipation is a huge part of foreplay.

If it's to impress him then I probably wouldn't. Obvs entirely your choice but if it's not a special occasion I'd keep it for a rainy day

FWIW I wore my best new undies for a lunch meeting even though I knew they wouldn't have an audience because, why not

Probs a mix of both warls hmmmmm not sure..I bought for our Saturday date that I had to cancel due to childcare and want to wear BUT might be better to save in case we can ever sort another weekend night out!!
Will decide after my shower 😁

War I do exactly the same for tedious work meetings - keeps me going!

Marlboro if you enjoy dressing up (who doesn't?) and you think you will enjoy his reaction, then definitely go for B. If you think he won't really be bothered then dressing up just for it to be ripped off in exactly the same way as any other item of clothing is a bit disappointing.