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Original poster

Dating thread 153- The adventures of... [Title edited at OP's request]

999 replies

30somethingandsingle · 04/04/2019 15:10

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

OP posts:
BatshitCrazyWoman · 09/04/2019 08:11

supercali hope you're ok.

Mr Big Car is 7 years younger than me .... he doesn't feel younger, iyswim. I'm quite energetic and youthful in outlook. Have had sex/relationships with men who are mid to late 50s and the sex has been excellent. Wouldn't tolerate anything less! There does seem to be a thing on MN that all men have ED problems and lack of libido post 50, and that has absolutely not been my experience!

TooOldForThis67 · 09/04/2019 08:33

Morning All
Am following the thread but just wanted to comment on the irony of @30somethingandsingle post. That's how I feel too, the self sabotage. Why is it that when we find our near perfect man, we look for ways it wont work?! Confused MrGardener is not giving me any negative vibes but I can tell I'm giving him some.
I think it's because I'm still chatting to MrWow, who actually msg that he loves me last night but then backtracked and said ignore him as he was feeling down and rejected. He knows about MrGardener and says he wants me to be happy but it's making him sad.
I go on holiday Friday so I think time away will be good for me. Smile.

Sorry others are going thro a rough time. Maybe it's because Spring is here and we're thinking of the long Summer days ahead with someone special, and that's making everyone anxious to find that person.

putastrawunderbaby · 09/04/2019 08:36

Following everyone's adventures here with total overinvestment great interest and just popping in to update. I have a proper date on Friday with Mr Gardener, who doesn't message much but when he does he seems quite nice. Meanwhile my FWB from Fab, Mr Bees, has developed feelings, so not sure how much longer that will last. A few more irons on Fab - but mainly I attract the lonely, who love to chat about their day and tell me about the sad things that have happened to them Confused I can only assume I seem cosy rather than sexy!

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 09/04/2019 08:42

tooold I think it might be time to cut contact with MrWow? If you like Nr Gardener?

putastrawberry I am sure you are sexy as well as cosy! You must be for Mr Bees to have caught the feels!
I hope you and tooold are not sharing the same Mr Gardener? 😂

shitwithsugaron · 09/04/2019 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
30somethingandsingle · 09/04/2019 09:16

I've pulled my shit together today. Just going to see it as it is- we are dating and both having fun and getting to know each other.
No need to over think things.

OP posts:
putastrawunderbaby · 09/04/2019 09:19

@marlboroandmalbec34 ha ha!! Wonder if that's ever happened here?!

Flowers and Cake all round - onwards and upwards!

TooOldForThis67 · 09/04/2019 09:32

marlb and putastraw - Oh god, hope it's not the same man!!

Yes, I should stop contact with MrWow as we take it in turns making each other sad! I wonder if in the back of my mind I'm thinking he'd make a great FWB if it fails with MrGardener seeing as he's now cheating on me with putastraw. Lol.

Crustaceans · 09/04/2019 09:32

@TooOldForThis67 I think the self-sabotage is probably a (completely useless) tactic to try to avoid being hurt. You find someone (almost) perfect - or just really great - and you start worrying that he can’t really be that great or he wouldn’t like you etc. It probably gets more and more tempting to do this the longer you’ve been looking.

I have had moments of this bullshit with MrSG. I was actually pretty good in the beginning - just going with things. But sometimes I’ve had to have a word with myself about overthinking things and being stupid. He is pretty much perfect (for me, rather than objectively) and everything is just lovely with us so I should never let the doubts creep in, especially as they’re always doubts about me rather than him.

I read a book once where one of the characters claimed that they could trust themselves. I thought that was weird, because if I’m going to be untrusting, it’ll pretty much always be me that I doubt rather than anyone else.

I agree that, practically, in your situation stopping contact with MrWow is the best thing to do. How dare he tell you he loves you and then backtrack. What a mindfucker.

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 09:37

Quick question how long would you wait until meeting someone from online. Bit of distance between us, so we couldn't just meet for a coffee.

But, just wondering how long would you expect to wait and just keep chatting?

Crustaceans · 09/04/2019 09:42

When are you likely to be able to meet?

I think it would depend to me on whether the delay was a temporary thing or a permanent feature. I couldn’t meet MrSG for 2 weeks because one or other of us was away with work. But that was temporary so it didn’t matter (and now we see each other pretty much all the time).

If it were going to be a permanent difficulty in finding time (and places) to meet, I think I’d not bother at all. It would just be frustrating and it couldn’t go anywhere if we couldn’t spend time together.

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 09:44

I do think it's a temporary thing, but he doesn't seem to put anything in concrete.

Peanuthedz · 09/04/2019 09:58

@shitwithsugaron I used to be known as Marvin the paranoid android from hitch hikers guide. I'm the opposite now. Somehow menopause totally changed my character

Ceebeegee · 09/04/2019 09:59

Hi everyone
I'm new to the thread.
I've been ghosted for the first time this week. Been dating since beginning of February, been on a date with him at least once a week since. Texting throughout the day most days. Sent a message on Sunday but it wasn't delivered or read and haven't heard anything since. Profile has gone blank so guess I've been blocked. No explanation or anything.
Oh well, back on the dating site then!

lifegoes · 09/04/2019 10:01

@Ceebeegee hi and welcome.

That's not nice, no explanation or anything?

Peanuthedz · 09/04/2019 10:02

@TooOldForThis67 ah mr wow is a head fuck. Thanks

I suppose that's what I'm trying to do, just enjoy it while it lasts. I can't have a LTR at the moment. My kids are too young. I'm not divorced. I'm unemployed. But it's really hard to just do that. I'm going to get my heart slightly broken but you know... I've been through worse.

We're all over thinking!

Peanuthedz · 09/04/2019 10:03

@Ceebeegee oooh that's a classic and nasty ghost. What an utter shit.

Crustaceans · 09/04/2019 10:03

That’s shit about the ghosting @Ceebeegee. It’s especially not on if you’ve been dating for several weeks.

I was once ghosted by s boyfriend (of 2+ years) before there was a name for it. It was really humiliating. He was a wanker though. And never was good enough for me, in hindsight.

Ceebeegee · 09/04/2019 10:06

No explanation.

Just reading the thread, gosh there are some wierdos out there on OLD!

putastrawunderbaby · 09/04/2019 10:07

Ouch @ceebeegee you've dodged a bullet there if that's what he's capable of, what a coward.

kerkyra · 09/04/2019 10:12

Date with school dad in an hour,in café up the road. I don't think he is right for me at all but says on profile he is sick of being used for one nighters and wants love. I've already told him to calm down the compliments.
But he is fit :) ! And unless you like a farmer,there is very little pickings in my area.

ccgirr · 09/04/2019 10:13

Wow ceebeegee what a twat! No hint on last date? Next!!!!

kerkyra · 09/04/2019 10:16

Sadly he has a pic of daughter in his profile. And a gym selfie topless. shit,this isn't good is it.

ceebee what a twunt. I'm sorry he was so gutless,you're better off with out x

ccgirr · 09/04/2019 10:19

Kerkyra don’t worry about that little stuff just see how it goes. You’ve seen the bod and must be decent if sharing and maybe he’s just making sure you know daughter is important to him. Nothing is ever 100% as we want. Keep us posted

JeSuisPrest · 09/04/2019 10:33

MrCornish vapes 😪. I specifically do not want to go out with a smoker. It's a deal breaker for me. I try and live a really healthy fit lifestyle apart from booze He says he won't do it when I meet him and it's only a small one, not one that billows out plumes of vapour. He's still being an absolute sweetheart though, so I'm looking forward to seeing him.