Please help me - BIG DECISIONS

[Littlehelper101]

I have been with my partner for 6 years. We have a house together good jobs dog cars etc.

The last year/6 months the love has fizzled out slightly and we feel as though as we co exist together. We try and do things but it never quite works out. I'm 24 he is 30. He is a jealous type and has become bitter since a big promotion. We resent each other and try hard not too but struggle. It feels as though we live separate live but our lives in every other way are very joined.

I have been offered a life changing position abroad, with amazing package, apartment and house paid for car etc - major career progression.

My partner is tied into a few things here so he would not be able to come.

I have broke the news today that I will be receiving a formal offer on Monday.

He is absolutely fuming and said the fact I entrained the interview process knowing he couldn't go shows how much I care etc.

What would you do would you take it or not?

For me it's the fear of the unknown.

LOVE vs Career

I need to give him answers. on Tuesday - One second he tells me to take it because he doesn't want to prevent me from this amazing job next second he tells me I've ruined his life?

X

I also wonder if waiting to sell is a bad idea - but from a finance perspective as well as control etc.

Say for instance your mortgage is £1000 per month - depending on the rate and amount you might only be paying off £400 capital and the rest interest.
Waiting another year before you put it on the market plus another ~6 months if you sell it quickly means you might spend £20k and only get £7k equity. It's a gamble if you think house prices will rise significantly in the next year - the brexit uncertainty will probably be going on for years and years!

Not only will you pay the mortgage on half the property, with him living in solitary splendour in a large house, you will also be 50% liable if the boiler breaks, if there is a water leak etc etc.

All of the above obliges you to have communication with your ex. It would have to be very amicable and you would have have to trust him implicitly to do this from abroad.

No one has a crystal ball about house prices. They may go up or down.

For the sake of simplicity and peace of mind, I would sell quickly.

How did handing in your notice at current work go? Think today was the day for that!

I'm sat on a bench at work building up my courage to hand my notice in.

I'm thinking of doing it towards the end of the day my boss is in a different office so will have to call but will see them in person next week.

I need to do it today really as I would like some time off before I go!

Good luck! We're all rooting for you!!

Don't overthink it OP. That just makes it harder. And don't leave it to the end of the day - you might lose your opportunity. Good luck!! 🍀

So....how did it go?

I hadn't my notice in!!!!!

Boss was super shocked but understanding and proud. I guess because I'm young I would be dumb to not take it.

Wow how much has life changed since this time last week.

Thanks so much everyone.

Well done 👍🏻 What a week...and an exciting start to the future.

Be proud of yourself!

Excellent update! Good luck with the rest of it all, you've done the right thing

Can I just add a word of caution. Take legal advice about selling the house & the financial arrangements of splitting.
He may agree today to paying for half the mortgage and for all the bills, however you need to take your name off the electricity, gas etc (as you're not the one using it). You may think you trust him, but things may changes.

I personally would say get it on the market ASAP - it may sell or it may not sell. Either way he has somewhere to live for a few months, it won't be quick.

You also need to ensure that he doesn't do what my ex did and empty the joint account as fast as I paid anything in. Unfortunately as the mortgage paperwork went to the house, as did the joint bank statements (no internet banking back then) it took a phone call from the mortgage company to alert me to the fact 3 payments had been missed!
I'd recommend making your own half-payment direct from your account to the mortgage company. Don't involve a joint account.

Hi @Northernlass101 @Littlehelper101

Hope all is well with you and the process of moving to the new job, disposal of existing house etc is going smoothly?

I have just made a new post about this please check out title is Update - jobVspartner

Not sure if im on the right oage for this respinse but im gna go with out about a year ago i made coments on here that i thought my wife was having an affair, there were so many signs that i thought it must be and i was in an insecure place at the time, so in public to my friends i acted like i didnt care if she had but i wanted to know truth be know i was terrified that i had let her down so much over the few previous years that why wouldnt she want out, i thought i coukd go out whenever and for how long as i liked and then after a while (with warning) my wife stoped caring as much i know see she must of felt so disrespected, ( this is not a words message because i have lost her) in fact the last few weeks i feel we have got on better then ever, but i realy miss the relationship i had with my wife b4 i started to let her down in a frequent basis, So as i cant expect my wife to be atentive as if she didnt have an affair she must feel let, that i coukd think this, so i feel guilty but hate my self for thinking what if she is

Sorry wrongpost

to let everyone know!!!

10 months on living in this magnificent place called home. Literally reading all these comments brings me back to the crazy emotions I went through and leaving him and doing this was the best thing him I've ever done.

I've always found the person I believe to be the one.

Thanks everyone xxxx

Great news! Well done you. Have 🍾

So glad things are working out for you. Have fun xxx