Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Are you ok shitwithsugaron??

Are you ok @shitwithsugaron ? Sounds a bit concerning!..

@shitwithsugaron hope you're ok

@TooOldForThis67 and you too. Maybe you need to take a break and focus on what you actually want?

Well Mr Unsuitable and I are exclusive it seems. It resulted from a convo about something else. I don't sleep with more than one man at a time I find it confusing and draining. And he said he won't either. So it may only last another week or so but that's nice to know. Both going for STD tests. 😳

He's so utterly Unsuitable in every way. I went on a date with him for an anecdote really... so you never can tell!

TooOld

falaff from the way you're describing Mr Climber it sounds like there's definitely something there.

shitwith are you okay? Did he creep you out in some way

I'm scratching an itch with Mr Copper-FWB tomorrow evening ...

How does Tinder choose the hot picks it sends you?

Hope you’re ok shit

I reckon it’s the popular profiles that get a lot of right swipes Batshit

I thought thay might be it. Mine are always a lot of bearded guys in their 40s who live over 60 miles away 😂

Sorry to hear that sws, as in he launched a kink on you you weren’t entirely expecting/comfortable with. No need to tell us though.
I guess with old you sometimes meet a toad in frogs clothing.

@shitwithsugaron hope your ok xx

Ahh shit don't feel bad about that. If I'm sleeping with someone I like to be comfortable enough with them to be able to laugh about it too.
My BF climaxed quite soon when we first dtd, we both laughed - he jokingly blamed me for being so good and we went again 10 minutes later when he lasted much longer.

Kik man handled it badly IMO

There is something there but he just feels on another level from me - he's 3 years older but it feels like there's 15 years difference. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

I think I am quite confused in my head because I am actively seeking a relationship so have a habit of settling, but also am a bit messed up from previous experiences so find it hard not to over-analyse and look for faults. So I have two things pulling different ways in my head.

shitwithsugaron awww in the grand scheme of things that’s not that bad. He was probably just embarrassed. It’s happened with guys I’ve been with. And tends to happen when they’ve bigged themselves up a bit.

I think there's a lesson I can take from this, set low expectations

@Ant330 it's worse when it's the opposite. Three hours later.... 😩🥴

Wise words Ant
TBF I think there's a lot to be said about not chatting about the sex stuff before you get there, because it's easy to get the message a bit wrong and increases the pressure for no reason.

Once you're both there you soon find out what's really on offer anyway

I'm in the process of organising my first telephone chat from OLD, what are the topics to avoid? I'm assuming exes is a given, but what else?
Do they have a tendency to turn into a q&a session or do you just make small talk?

Awwww sws.... sorry to hear. but that was/is one of my worse fears. Ex was extremely quick off the mark and i wasn’t encouraged to hang about either! I might need to adapt some marigolds!

@WarIsPeace completely agree
I always ruled out anyone if they tried any sex chat, boring as hell and I like things to take a more natural course.
If a guy came up to me in a bar and started chatting sex crap at me I'd walk away, always applied the same rule with OLD
One of the main reasons I liked talking with Mr 24 so much in the early day's was because he never even once hinted towards it. Always respectful and never any pressure.
As it happens he's pretty amazing in bed

@wishywashy6
I have met him 5/6 times.
I thought at the beginning it was just going to be friend zone and said so.
Then it went into limbo stage and bit of progression.
Couple of amber flags and cultural differences. Who knows. Probably a short term relationship if anything.

you are doing well peanut, you've not been on the thread very long!!! What makes him so unsuitable, but also not??

falaff it sounds like things are going well with Mr Climber, but don't let him make you feel inferior. YOu are not. Not every relationship has to be 'the one'. Perhaps this one is just right for now?

I don't do sex talk with a man I've not met, that's dull as ditchwater. But I have done it after a few dates and snogs. It didn't live up to the expectations, so now I don't think I'd bother until actually DTD.

Ant I don't think any topic is really off bounds, as long as the conversation is flowing. I think I've talked about exes (as have they) on all my first dates!!

tooold I hope you are OK. I think you have been through quite an intense OLD experience. I'm sorry things won't work out with Mr Wow, I could tell how much he means to you. I wouldn't settle for Mr BE if he's not really floating your boat. Time for a break?

NOTHING is happening on Bumble, and I'm really only back on to stop the overinvesting in Mr S, which is happening anyway. I might come back off for a bit but be mindful of Mr S as a FWB. Not seen him for 10 days and really miss him though...

@unique1986 sounds like hard work for so early on if I'm honest!
What's the situation with him? Are you exclusive?