Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Oh TooOld that sounds difficult. But you are allowed to think about you and what you want ...

Lily sorry it was rubbish

unique I couldn't be doing with that moody shit, I'd be done.

I'm ignoring Mr Keen from Fab (he has no veris so I think I'm the first woman he's spoken to on there). Have Mr Irish from Fab coming along nicely. Mr Curry hasn't read the message I sent him yesterday morning - if I hear nothing by Thursday I'm going to use my one date slot I have this weekend for someone else.

30 do you want to go to a club? I put in ky Fab profile that I'm not interested as the more I look into them the more unsexy they sound ... 😂

warls I think unless you deactivate some apps then if you either stop swiping it just delete apps still says or available. Perhaps that’s what has happened?!?

What does OLD mean?

warispeace is it tinder? Or where? Being on the app vs active swiping is pretty different. But yes..the inbetweeny stage is a mess, full of crossed wires and uncertainty. If I were you, I'd come off the app altogether. It's what I did. No good comes of second guessing it just makes you paranoid and leads to bad conclusions

Gah typed a post then lost it - I'm a bit cynical but if what Mr Curry said is true then there are quite good reasons why he might not get in touch. On the other hand I've been in his position and have taken 5 minutes to message people I'd left hanging. I would certainly get in touch with someone I'd left sitting in a cafe waiting for me 😕

@supercali77 yes, but it's a new profile to what he had before. And I've been swiping throughout, and he's he's fairly local so would show up for me.

We matched on his previous one then unmatched once we'd moved to WA and real life so that wouldn't come up again

Sorry, WarIs here, nc fail

@WarIsPeace it is such a difficult stage isn't it. Wish you couldn't see if they are online or not!

@BatshitCrazyWoman they do appeal to me, but I don't think I want to go yet. I'm not ready to share him now, or maybe not ever but I am open to the idea.

I think he may have just been super horny when he suggested it last night, either that or he has realised that he has pushed too far and is massively back tracking this morning so we won't be going yet!

@30somethingandsingle I can see that going together could add a certain something but you'd need to discuss it first I think.

@WarlocksAreLocks it is such a nightmare at this stage - and you're right, it's just like reading someone's diary and not being able to say anything! Thing is he might just be doing exactly what you are doing! Agree with SuperCali about maybe coming off the app for now.

Have you had chats beyond not being on the apps?

waris ah right. So he's made a new profile....well, it may be he came off altogether and then thought that may be a little premature if you're in the early stages. Did you say you're a few dates in? When you asked him...did you say you weren't swiping too? See, he might have found out you were still on there??? Possibly? If you think you know each other well enough I'd be inclined to bring it up.

@unique1986 how long have you been seeing MrRussian?
The moody/ sulky thing would really annoy me - I have enough of that from my 9 year old daughter!

30something - he is grooming you.
He may well mean what he says to you but ultimately he wants your kinks to align with his.
I would ask him what he actually likes and what he wants to explore - because that’s the direction you’ll be heading.

Ive been a swingers club and it was a once in a life time experience - once being the operative word!!

30something I have to agree with howling....hes obviously pretty au fait with the swingers scene / fab etc. It's possible he wants you as a partner and he's feeling you out on your willingness to do it. Thing is if he's good at feeling people out he'll retreat if he senses resistance, and then try again....i would say if bottom line you're not big into the idea be really careful with how involved you get with him

Ah one of the many reasons I only use tinder is that you can't see when someone is online. There lies madness...

If he's made a new profile could be for any reason. I go through phases when I'm not wanting to date of swiping with a faceless profile just to have a look. It's so addictive. This thread helps me not to swipe. Could mean nothing could mean he's looking again. Another old headfuck

Ok that was for @WarIsPeace

And I meant OLD not old

@shitwithsugaron ahhh ok that makes sense thanks

@shitwithsugaron I find the men on bumble in my area dire. Potato heads. And all miles away.

I see guys I like on Bumble but I just don't get anywhere for some reason. One day I matched with about 10 people, messaged all of them - and then watched every single match expire!

There's a lot less empty profiles with no words on bumble. But I hate the message first thing.

My one - been on and off since Xmas. Heart of gold but flaky. Once see each other once a week or so.

I've met others during the 'off' periods but don't think he has he's punching

Thanks ladies. I'm feeling a bit like that too, like he is trying to work towards doing things that I don't necessarily want to do.
I can't decide whether he is doing that or whether he is just seeing how open I am to things, he constantly says he would never want me to do things I don't want to or am not comfortable with and that I have to be 100% on board (rightly so) or whether he is playing the 'long game' with me.
Ugh, it's confusing. He has sucked me in very quickly and I feel over invested.