Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

mrdrummer brilliant piece of advice!

@Cassettes Counselling is the best thing I've ever done. I honestly think it's such a healthy thing to do, caveat obviously being finding the right therapist and style of counselling for you which in itself can be a minefield.

Ever heard the phrase; 'Hurt people, hurt people'. You can really see it in action in online dating and so gaining the knowledge to spot those people before you get hurt or do it to others really helps. Not to mention becoming aware of your attachment type, working on your self-esteem, etc all helps.

richdeniro The football would be my dream date! Not Palace vs Huddersfield that's a 0-0 waiting to happen but yeah, my now girlfriend wants me to take her to her first game and I actually can't wait. I have a Newcastle United season ticket so letting her into my footballing world is a hug deal to me!
Besides that, it's lovely to see you dating again. Did you meet her on Happn? It did sound like she had friend zoned you, but like others have said make sure she pays for the ticket.

Off dating, I've just had one of the most scary days of my life. My first time in court in front of three magistrates pleading to keep my driving licence ahead of a totting up ban. And who was there to drive me, hold my hand and wipe the tears away when it was all over and I got to keep my licence?....Miss B&B. I wish you guys could all find what we have as it's the best thing in the world ever, I wouldn't change how we met for anyone.

@Auba I am always apprehensive about taking someone to watch Palace, we're dreadful at home too but the atmosphere at Selhurst Park is always decent so there's always that to fall back on. She won't need to pay for her ticket as my mates and I have season tickets and one of the guys I sit with can't make it so I've just grabbed his.

Met on Hinge, I signed back up last week. Going to stick exclusively to that now I think.

No idea how I'll handle the date having essentially been friendzoned, guess I'll just be my friendly self, if she turns a little she'll let me know I guess. We both have different plans in the evening so there's not much chance of doing much after the game except for a couple of drinks.

I've taken a few dates up to watch my team play,said if we score I would give them a big snog!
rich I know you said if you were friend zoned you weren't interested in being friends,but why not widen your social circle.This woman may have a party/bbq etc and you'd be invited and could potentially meet someone. Unless it's too painful as you really like her.

@user1466783975 I know who you team is and feel sorry for your dates because I doubt they got more than a peck on the cheek some games

So Mr Chef is back and has had a great weekend with his kids. I love that he dedicates the time with them...thanks to everyone that reassured me this wasn't a red flag as I have a real connection with him. Signed up with FAB...wow lots of cock pics!

drummer yes they leave the game very frustrated :)

I'm knocking my first one and only fwb on the head before it begins. I want to date in the hope of finding a relationship and if i'm not worthy of that and just a booty call,i'm going to get hurt.

@shitwithsugaron that would be a red flag and bye from me! I'm all for flirty/suggestive and even further sometimes but as you have described it as leery and creepy...next!

@user1466783975 I must admit fwb didn't sound right for you. Perhaps what you are after is a more of a relaxed relationship, but with emotional attachment and no other parties involved. Everyone deserves the kind of relationship they want and shouldn't stop looking until they find it.

jesuis I left Mr London’s bed one Thursday morning and was in Mr Local’s bed the Friday night. No guilt. We hadn’t had exclusive chats and I was dating them both with full expectation they were doing the same. Go and have fun x

rich Palace are 'my' local team, close to where I live. I can't stand football though!!

I'm back. One happy Bats

Ha Palace are my local team too (although I'm not into football either @BatshitCrazyWoman

@BatshitCrazyWoman you are very very close to me location wise. And age wise. Lucky you prefer POF and I prefer tinder. And am I right in remembering you don't like beards... otherwise I'm sure we could have compared notes on a few....

Ooh 3 of us round here @leonasa 😱

Ooooh - we are close.

Mr Fit as Bloody Fuck had a short beard .. he may have turned me 😳😂

@JeSuisPrest I'd agree that you don't owe Mr Banker anything at this stage, go and enjoy!

@BatshitCrazyWoman @Peanuthedz I like a bit of a beard but I'm not on tinder or POF so we're probably ok ☺️🤞

I matched with quite a hot Palace player on Bumble, he had great hair but was so young...

I’m going to stand in MrBanker’s shoes again as I feel he may be being thought badly of unfairly. Admittedly I don’t have all the info but as I remember he was new to OLD and apprehensive about it. He’s been straight up so far, non flakey and arranged another date at his home pretty much as soon as reasonably possible. Believe me, this is a fairly big deal for an apprehensive bloke. My view is he’s not messing about.

@shitwithsugaron I realise after backpedaling through the thread I didn’t take you up on your profile review offer, missed that post entirely for some reason .

Poor weekend for me. Had to respond in the negative to a couple of messages and also declined twice in my own overtures.I did get a first ever match on Tinder but it was no one I recognised swiping on. Must have fallen asleep on the tablet or something as I haven’t had a drink for weeks .

This thread moved fast tonight!

MrSporty has continued to be sweet and lovely. We've planned a couple of dates for later in the week. I'm starting to dare believe it might be genuine, and with that in mind I'm not going to meet MrEnergy right now. I may regret it, but it feels like the right thing to do.

Does it get easier having multiple conversations, and feeling guilty about it?
Messaging with MissOz is going really well, we're on WA now and arranging a call to see how we get on before meeting.
Ms7 is a slow burner I think, but messaging going ok.
And been messaging MsBathLegs on her work breaks during the day and this evening.
Do feel guilty switching from one conversation to another though, but clearly it's what everybody is doing.

@Ant330 I never found it an issue, particularly before meeting. They're only conversations after all, and as my time is very precious I found it a more economical way of sifting through the numbers. If I'd only talked to one at a time only to find out they'd lost interest/ no teeth/ ex wives buried under the patio then I'd have found that incredibly tedious!
I think talking to a few stops you getting carried away and over investing before it becomes real.

@wishywashy6 loving the "only talked to one at a time only to find out they'd lost interest/ no teeth/ ex wives buried under the patio" comment

Just leaving date with Mr Canada. Blimey he was nice. V dry humour which suits me and a foot taller than me (I'm 5"3). It was a date in slightly formal surroundings but lots of laughter. Nice kiss at the end. Definitely seeing him again (I hope! I don't think is he is the flaky time whatsoever).

@Ant330 and @Restlessinthenorth with you on multi-dating being tricky.. for me it's just I feel my tiny brain can't cope

@JeSuisPrest but I agree with @wishywashy6 - go to it