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Original poster

What to do when another woman is making a play for your DP?

193 replies

ANN00 · 07/03/2019 20:43

My DP has acquired a female fan. She has always been overly friendly with him but appears to be ramping things up.

She has asked him to help her assemble a bed and he has agreed to help her. Apparently she then said to him that it’s great to have a friend with benefits (meaning his furniture assembly skills).

I’ve just told him to be careful and have an excuse ready in case she makes a move. He doesn’t seem bothered but I’ve been thinking about this tonight and I’m not sure how comfortable I am with him helping her out.

Tell me I’m being silly and should just get a handle on my jealousy. Smile

OP posts:
Blastandtroph · 07/03/2019 20:51

Can understand why you feel like this. Could you go along too to help with the bed assembly?

LizzieSiddal · 07/03/2019 20:57

Ask him how he’d feel if you were going off to make a bed with a man who had the hots for you.

Takeapolaroid · 07/03/2019 20:57

Yes I would offer to go too.

Who is she anyway?

Mrsmummy90 · 07/03/2019 20:58

Definitely go as well!

Original poster
ANN00 · 07/03/2019 20:59

I don’t want to appear like I’m needy or jealous.

I think it will look odd if I come along. I suppose I could say that it’ll be easier with three of us.

She is his colleague.

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 07/03/2019 20:59

You can go help - she can make tea.

Or tell him to cool the friendship

PersonaNonGarter · 07/03/2019 20:59

Well, it doesn’t really matter what you do, or what she does. What matters is what HE does.

So he either cancels this time, or says no next time or never says no.

Takeapolaroid · 07/03/2019 21:00

So what if it looks odd for you to go along? Serves her right for asking him.

AnyFucker · 07/03/2019 21:02

My H would not agree to this in the 1st place

Cliche alert....but it seems you have a DP problem

Unguent · 07/03/2019 21:02

‘Have an excuse ready in case she makes a move’?

Isn’t ‘Put your clothes back on, lady, I don’t want to shag you on your new bed’ enough of an ‘excuse’? Or are you expecting him to apologise politely for not whipping his trousers down, by exclaiming ‘By the dickens! I’m late for my ballroom dancing lesson!’ and dashing off?

Original poster
ANN00 · 07/03/2019 21:02

I’m right that this is just not what colleagues do is it normally?

For full disclosure, he also has access to a van so is picking it up and delivering it for her. None of her other colleagues have access to a van so this may be a reason why she asked him.

Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
TrySinging · 07/03/2019 21:03

Would my DH fuck be doing that. Not controlling, also not a mug though!

LizzieSiddal · 07/03/2019 21:06

What other stuff has she said/done that make you suspicious?

Original poster
ANN00 · 07/03/2019 21:06

I’m not really sure why I told him to have an excuse ready. It just popped into my head.

I’m not really the jealous type but I think things are starting to go a bit too far.

OP posts:
SurgeHopper · 07/03/2019 21:08

I'd say so yeah

Hmm
LizzieSiddal · 07/03/2019 21:08

I’d just say my Dh had a similar kind of colleague.
He made damn sure he was never alone with her, despite her numerous invites for “chats” and drinks.Hmm

Original poster
ANN00 · 07/03/2019 21:09

She apparently felt his,bum on a night out. She messages him regularly and is always asking him to do things for her. She turned up at his parent’s house a year ago and said she had a problem with her car. It has snowballed frommthen really.

OP posts:
ShakeYourTailFeathers · 07/03/2019 21:09

Ask him how he’d feel if you were going off to make a bed with a man who had the hots for you

This ^

PersonaNonGarter · 07/03/2019 21:10

How do you know she fancies him?

Quite often ‘My colleague fancies me’ is mentionitis for ‘I fancy my colleague’...

velourvoyageur · 07/03/2019 21:10

Sorry but who can't assemble their own bed (unless she's not able-bodied) Confused I wouldn't even ask a friend or family member to do that when I could simply do it myself (ok it might take me a bit more effort but it's not like I get men to carry my shopping either in order that I can go through life without ever exerting myself), so how is it plausible that she would ask a colleague? Have you not asked DP why she's pretending to be so incapable, does he not think everything about it is odd and therefore probably just a ruse?

Motherofcreek · 07/03/2019 21:11

Your DP is taking the piss. Sounds like he is enjoying the attention of her tbh.

I’d seriously be thinking if he was the right guy for you.

Original poster
ANN00 · 07/03/2019 21:12

The problem with my DP is that he has ‘white knight’ syndrome. Particularly when it comes to women.

I might ask him to help one of my male friends out with his van and see what his reaction is.

OP posts:
pamplemoussed · 07/03/2019 21:12

Is he not capable of making an excuse?

Original poster
ANN00 · 07/03/2019 21:13

I just get the sense that she does like him from her behaviour. I don’t think it’s reciprocal but I could be wrong.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 07/03/2019 21:14

Just get him to text ‘Sorry, we’ve got stuff on. You’ll be fine!’

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