Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Yeah you did seem a tad defensive in a few messages I noticed 😉. I would try not to overthink and maybe keep your options open so you don't get too over invested 😊

Always better to have those kinda chats in person or on the phone.
Texts is never enough and doesn't satisfy you.

Focus if it feels good go with it!!

I think if things feel easy and comfortable but still with a spark or potential of, it's gteat!

I keep having to restart my day one nc with Mr. 2Years. I really must slap myself!

Oh pony do you keep contacting him?

@pony, have a read through this, it might help:

www.reddit.com/r/relationship_thoughts/comments/1rnnbe/a_guide_to_no_contact_nc/

pony I finally stopped contacting an ex (literally decades ago this was) when my DB pointed out to me that I was making a fool of myself. I kept the image in my head of him laughing at me and that gave me the impetus I needed. After a couple of weeks it was fine. Probably not relevant for you but still.

Funny stories. I have a thing for men in tights . Found a guy on Bumble in a fancy dress outfit, swapped messages and some VERY appealing (to me) images of him just managing to stay in his tights (sorry if this is gross). Arranged to meet up. As I headed towards him, realised the images were a good 15 years old. Yup, it was H Redknapp's grannie. In tights. The horror!

cassettes that is so funny 😂

I cannot keep up with this thread! Everyone is so busy. I loved reading the disaster dates last night

I have a 1st date tomorrow with Mr Lawyer from tinder for drinks after work. Potentially a booty call with Mr Big after if I don’t like my Mr Lawyer (Mr Big is aware)

Then I have a Friday lunch with a guy from Fab than a Saturday eve date with another guy off fab! All looking up 😁

Who was it who was trying to arrange a threesome with a fab couple before they dtd with a potential iron who was picking them up from the airport? lifegoes cassettes ?? I cannot remember but was hoping to see an update x

Cassettes - Harry Redknapp's Granny, in tights - pmsl here!

shitwith - agree with others, you were a bit defensive but he obviously likes you a lot. Be careful not to push him away with the questions, play the long game and see where it goes.

cassettes the same man that you'd decided not to see? You then met through Bumble???????? cries laughing

Cassettes I'm crying with laughter.

Malboro it wasn't me I wish it was ha.

So Mr old iron. We're on date 8 or something tonight. A mate saw him on tinder last night. He's already said to me a while back he doesn't multi date so...im wondering. Do I bring it up (not the fact hes on tinder but where we're at/what this is) do I just leave it and assume he's on there because he just hasn't hid himself? If I do bring it up...suggestions on how to go about it?

supercali - That happened with MrWow and around the same timeframe. I saw it on his phone and stewed about it. In the end I asked him outright. Something along the lines of 'I see you have PoF app on your phone' I didn't ask him why, just left it open. He said 'Yeah, it's something to have a laugh about late at night when I'm bored' He then proceeded to show me various profiles and msg they sent. They were clearly old dears or scammers.

supercall did he delete the app? I think if you delete the app off your phone your profile still remains on tinder, a lot of people don’t realise that and assume if they have deleted the app they are no longer on there? Kind of had that discussion with Mr SA the other day as he has deleted tinder and POF but I don’t think he’s actually shut down his profile.

I had a message from Mr Mountain last night, I haven’t heard from him for a while, we have had a few dates over the past 2 years and DTd a couple times but it wasn’t that great, he’s invited me to his probably because he wants a shag, I will decline.

I’m missing Mr SA, he’s away all week and won’t even be able to text much as he’s working long hours , I’m not sure when I’m going to see him so I’m trying to keep myself busy. Hurt my back (I think playfighting with Mr SA) so I can’t do much 😞

supercali - sorry, that wasn't your question, lol. Yes, bring it up, just ask 'are we exclusive?' and 'would you like me to come off the apps?'. See what his reponse is and take it from there. Are you tempted to get your mate to msg him?

Loving the funny date stories. Making me smile because I'm getting disillusioned by it all again.

Despite loads of messages on Fab, I've only managed to secure one date. That was with Mr Guitar who admitted afterwards he just wanted a shag whenever he felt like it. Not a FWB.

The rest of messages are from profiles with no face pics or men who just want sex now. I was juggling about 5 convos at one point but they gradually all either disappeared or admitted they didn't want FWB.

I still have date 2 with Mr No Eye Contact at the weekend. But he is boring me with his messages. There's no humour or flirting. Any attempt I make to send a light-hearted text gets a sensible comment back. I feel like I'm chatting to my mum!

Ha ha no Notcool, that was someone else. Let's say Mr Tights was H Redknapp's great auntie

myold - I feel like I'm chatting to my mum! - Lol. I once had an iron ask what I was having for tea. I actually called him out on it and he didn't msg again! And there's only so many 'You ok, what you up to' msgs I can take.

Cassettes 😂😂😂

I could let Mr Sailor just fizzle (I replied to a message yesterday evening at about 8.15 - heard nothing at all since). But I feel I should at least send a voice message saying that I don't think we're suited (sub-text - 'you don't seem to fancy me! 😂)

Ha ha cassettes I thought it was rather unfortunate!!!

supercali when Mr S told me he'd deleted tinder he was still showing in my messages, so I asked him and he said he'd just deleted the app and not his profile. So he then deleted his profile and the app. I just hid my profiles or paused them and deleted them from my phone.

It sounds like things have really improved with Mr SA lovemusic?

Ah myoldbrain it's annoying when the irons all dry up...