Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Wishy I have to go with my gut this time. It doesn't feel right now, it did before the little lies. If little lies can roll off the tongue so easily now what else can they lie about

Miracle I don't really want to say that, as we've been texting non stop and both previously confirmed we get on so well. It's just the past few days.

I think I'm going down the path of being ill tomorrow or I might even say there's a few things that don't add up for me, so unfortunately I'm out.

If you have no intention of ever meeting him then don't make something up (ill etc) as he'll just expect to rearrange for when you're better? Yeah, you could say things haven't added up? But then again he may ask you to explain?

lifegoes - Yes, I'd go with the honest approach 'I thought we were getting on great but a few things don't add up to me, so sorry but won't be meeting you'. Will be interesting to see how he replies and then maybe see how you feel then?

Thank you, I know it sounds petty perhaps. But I refuse to ignore my gut again.

I think I'll go with the honesty approach tooold and miracle

Back to swiping I go.

I agree @shitwithsugaron I'm a very honest person and the whole point of me not wanting to go on the date is the lies.

I would be a hypocrite if I didn't give him honesty back.

shitwith - Give yourself plenty of time to get there. Are you driving home, so not drinking? That would terrify me tbh, lol, not much help am I!

So week one of OLD completed. I'd forgotten how crazy it is in the beginning 🤦‍♀️ Lots of chats. Few dullards. Few who are ever so slightly messed up as humans. Few who seemed promising but then disappeared. 3 dates set up for tomorrow 😱 One of them I've spoken to on the phone for over 3 hours. He makes me laugh and looks lovely. Not as tall as I'd normally go for (no heels for me 😬). The other one is gorgeous - I'd definitely be punching - but chat can be a little like pulling teeth sometimes. Hmmmm. We'll see.

I'm definitely with you on the lies @lifegoes. There were a few lies at the beginning of my last OLD. My instinct was to run but I'd stupidly over invested way too soon and didn't. Definitely came to bite me on the ass later. Zero tolerance this time

Hi Tilly - that all sounds pretty normal for old, lol. Well done on bagging 3 dates tho. How are you going to juggle them all, on the same day?!

Yes. So it would seem 😂

I've got an 11 coffee, a 3 pm drink and a 7pm drink 🤦‍♀️ I figured it will stop be focussing too much on one. I'm out tonight with a friend so have got to try not to be too hungover tomorrow 😂

After my not so great date last night, I now have zero irons.
No one left to swipe on Tinder or Bumble. No one left to message on POF.

Not sure what to do now.
-Hide my profiles for a few weeks.
-Just hang on in there in hope

• try Fab for the 4th time and try not to run away this time

I have a childfree weekend with not a lot to do, apart from housework

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking Have you tried Hinge? A friend of mine has recommended it 🤷‍♀️

Hate the "wasted" child free weekends 😞

Tillyscoutsmum I've tried Hinge. There's no one in my area using. It seems very London based.
I have the same problem with OKC and Badoo.

MyOldBrain in that case there's no harm trying Fab again is there? Stand your ground this time and hold out for what you are looking for amidst all the craziness?

MyOldBrain

If I was in that position, I think I would take a break for a few weeks. Go over your profiles again, perhaps join a sports/running/badminton/walking group and try and meet some new people this way. I did that for two years before I went back online dating after a relationship breakdown and I’d made some great new friends and wing women too! I think the trick to the apps is to not let them consume you - and have other stuff to do. Do you have family to visit or friends you could go shopping with?!

Me and my B&B girl are going strong. We try to see each other most days now even just for a few hours, yesterday was my birthday and we spent the afternoon together before I had a family thing on the night. She is officially my girlfriend, we’ve started to tell our friends and family and I’m going to tell our mutual colleague/friend on Tuesday so it looks like this one is for the long haul. I’ve never met anyone who makes me so happy and who is such an excellent cuddler She has also said to pass on her thanks to everyone who said for me to pursue her back in the old days before we had met - she knows I posted online about our relationship, she just didn’t know where and I won’t tell her!

MyOldBrain when you run out, tweaking the mileage and age by a couple, closing the app and reopening it works well for me

I've got a potential iron but he's a little bit far, but keen and cute. Have tentative plan to meet another time.

Aw, I’m sorry to hear you are cancelling with Mr G lifegoes but I agree you need to go with your gut. We have both made mistakes by not listening to our instincts.

wishywashy annoyingly this is just how I felt with Mr S. I was so relaxed. No worries about whether he’d reply or double texting or anything. Then wham! He’s not in a place for a relationship. Maybe right person, wrong time. 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️

tillyscoutsmum 3 dates in one day?! I’m tired just thinking about it!! Looking forward to reading your update!!

shitwith good luck tonight. His friends will love you.

myoldbrain I hate getting to the end of my stack!! There will be more in the morning.

WarlsPeace I've tried all those tricks. I get the odd new person to swipe but they're usually too far away.

Auba14 that sounds lovely. Good to hear it's working well.
I already do 2 sports and I'm in a couple of Meetup groups, so I can't really add any more. I've no family nearby and all my friends are busy with their families.
My profiles have been looked at by loads of people who say they're good so I'm not sure what more I can do to tweak them.
I think I just have the wrong face for OLD.

Cassettes I struggled to know what to say in reply to messages on Fab. I got a couple of nice ones who said hello and asked if we could chat. But after saying hello back, I didn't know what to say. "I see you like anal sex/threesomes/dogging etc" didn't seem like the right thing.
I might have another look this evening.

Ok so curiosity got the better of me and I visited fab. I need eye bleach. Argh the cocks!!!!! Very different from Bumble 😂😂

Notcoolmum 😂 that was my reaction the first time

Notcool I think my gut was always a bit cautious and it got to the point of just using the date as experience. Which really isn't nice on him. He hasn't text yet, so not told him yet.

Tilly good luck with your 3 dates. I'm looking forward to that.

MyOld I'm on the same boat, but just moving a year up or down on my age range to see what's there. Helps keep it refreshing.
I have fab I might need to log on and go through the messages 👀

MyOld - Have you tried Happn? It's a location based app, can look for friends or dates. It'll flag anyone that's crossed your path. If you both match then you can chat but not until. FabDates rather than FabSwingers?
Aubu - Just love your updates, so pleased for you both.
Tilly - Yes, we all want the updates Sunday night!

My 8 irons have gone down to 4. One of which I'm seeing today. Another has msg asking if he can pop in for coffee on route to a job.
I'm not putting anything on hold for a quick coffee.

Tooold this one you are seeing today, is the hottie with the sexy accent?