Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Haha love that response! 😂😂😂

I hope you're feeling a bit better tonight love. Maybe have a chat with him about where you're both at regarding a relationship or fwb. Didn't you say he was holding your hand on the date? He sounds sweet. And if he has only had short relationships/marriage,well,he might not have met the right person or been in the right place. Just ask x

My second date didn't go well. I knew after the first date that he hadn't been exactly truthful about his height.
But when I saw him again I realised how much shorter he was than me.

And he didn't like the place I'd chosen for a meal because it was too noisy. And there wasn't anything on the menu he could eat. Because he didn't tell me he was vegetarian and had given up carbs.

So we moved somewhere else which was ok. Had a quick bite to eat then I left as quickly as I could. Shame because our conversations were quite good. But I didn't fancy him at all.

Wow myoldBrain,he sounds delightful. Well done for sticking it out for as long as you did!

I've found out mr garden gate is a bit of a ladies man. Well,he was in his youth and still thinks he has it. Made a comment yesterday that I decided I had to mention,it just didn't sit well with me. (over complimenting a woman on a programme about how stunning she was and how great her legs were etc). It made me feel all insecure. Which I thought i'd got my insecurities all sorted.

So I just said he was entitled to his opinion but whilst we'd only known each other for a week,please keep it zipped. Luckily he didn't get defensive and said he was so sorry and he has taken note.

Today he had written me a poem!

MyOldBrain how disappointing
I'm ignoring the flaky ones

I'm chatting to a potential iron who sounds v good, v classy chap, probably too classy for me. And a friend of mine followed someone's suggestion of fab and good grief, what a sausage fest that is. She drowned in messages and logged out but not all were awful. She said.

Oh Fecking Hell
I don't know where to start!
I've had new irons and old irons hitting on me tonight.
I'm so confused. Getting love bombed left right and centre.

A question to you - I'm looking for someone that I'll potentially see out the rest of my years, seriously. I'm fed up of casual dating. I want to settle. I've been doing this almost 2 yrs on and off. I have learnt a hellava lot. But, that doesn't make it easier.

I could have had 3 dates tonight. I was so pissed off that I chose an old ex. He is coming up strong and now I'm seriously considering him. But, I have new dates on the horizon that I can't ignore, the promise of something better!
Does anyone understand?

Too old I understand, what a your gut telling you? What's this ex offering you now that he didn't before?

Myold that's a shame, but if it's not there it's not there.

Why do they lie about their height. I couldn't date a man, where I constantly had to think about what shoes to wear in case I towered over him.

User a poem 👀

Met Mr Teacher tonight. He was very nice looking. Nice company. We had a fair few drinks out. But we didn’t really attract each other and no snog. He lives so close to me we are bound to bump into each other after this!!

lifegoes - I've seen this iron more times as a mate than as a date! We get on really well. We fell out big time over a huge misunderstanding that escalated, about our kids. He's nice and getting better the longer I am seeing him. But I have new and promising offers on the horizon and feel I would just be settling with him.
I have a date tomz with a bloke from Manchester, now living in my region. We've been msg on OLD and now chatting on WhatsApp. I was curious as to his accent as I'm from the East. God, was he sexy on the phone! Got all afternoon/eve/morning with him tomz as I'm child free.

I seem to be a classic victim for love bombing tho and just trying to work out why. I'm not desperate and I'm really flippant with these guys. Maybe that makes them work harder, so then I think that they are serious? Who knows!

Tooold I don't think it's just you with this love bombing. Lately it's all I'm seeing and hearing. I've had the exact same. I was discussing it tonight and a Male friend said men are doing it more now to women as it cracks them easily. I was flabbergasted. So I wouldn't worry about that, just try to keep your guard up slightly.

As for the ex/friend. Just keep him as a friend for now enjoy his company. But invest your time in the new guy. If you like him and it's something new. You only regret the chances you don't take.

Much better to have a life of oh wells than a life of what ifs.

Go for it.

Hello ,can I join in? it has been 3 years since I did OLD. I am feeling so nervous

@Meado1203

Of course you can join, the more the merrier!!!

tooold I recently read a book...why men love bitches. By bitch, the author doesn't mean...an arse. Just a woman who draws a line in the sand and pleases herself first. So wondering...afyer you make them work harder...if you think they're serious do you change at all? As in do your boundaries become more flexible? Because that's what I've noticed I do. I get looser with what's acceptable

Something my old therapist said stuck with me too..if you have both words and actions to judge a person on. Only bother with the actions. The words can mean next to nothing

Hi Everyone. I was on a thread like this a few years ago and it was great to share stories, I think OLD is a very lonely place and quite frankly a bit scary.
My story is a funny one, I recently ended a 3 year relationship with a guy I met on Match. I thought he was the one but turns out he is narcistic freak. The funny part is that I was not intending to start OLD but this week my ex hacked into my my POF from 3 years ago put a horrible photo of me and put his profile in my place. I told you he was a freak. I have changed passwords and put everything right. Already had several messages from some interesting looking men. Just need to remember the rules.

supercali I've read that book, and agree with you completely!

Welcome Meadow - and well done for ending it with your narc ex. A few of us here have one of those

@Meadow1203 you're definitely not alone on the narc ex front. Due to mine I so over analyse anything a man says or does as a possible 'sign'. Haha. Poor guys 🙈.

Yes TooOld it's best to have lots of irons in the fire

Just catching up.

TooOld I know how you feel, I would love to find someone to settle down with but OLD is hard work and in a way there’s too much choice and I’m worried I will make the wrong choice resaulting in missing out on the right one.

So, I tried to relax about Mr SA but then last night he showed a bit more of his true colours. Early in the evening he messaged to say he hasn’t got any time off work next week and doesn’t know when he will see me again, I felt a bit pissed off but played it cool and said ‘that’s ok, no rush’. A hour later he got into a disagreement at work (nothing to do with the lack of time off) and he ended up getting the sack, he’s working for an agency so only temping. He has history of not lasting long in any job so yet again he’s lost another one. So then he asks if he can see me tomorrow (today), I say “sorry I’m busy as I have my kids” and he says “fair enough”, he disappeared for a bit and then started messaging again (mainly sex talk). I am concerned as to why he can’t seem to hold down a job or a relationship, it sounds like he may have a short fuse and maybe a bit cocky although every time we have met he doesn’t show these traits, I’m worried that he’s just being extra nice and not being himself in front of me. Maybe I’m being a bit paranoid because of my past relationships with abusive twats?

@Lovemusic33 if I'm honest there's been a few things you've said about MrSA that I've raised an eyebrow at. The fact that all his relationships have only been a few months is a big one to me. Why didn't they work? Does he rush in or does he just allow them to rush in? And not being able to hold a job down? I think he would be fine for a FWB but I would be very hesitant about anything long term.

Also, I'm SA too and we don't tend to mince words (MrBaker says whereas most people add extra words in to fluff it up, I don't 🤷) so him messaging that sounds like something I would say. And not because I'm not interested.

Thanks shitwithsugaron. I think I’m only disappointed as he was so nice looking. If he wasn’t as pretty I don’t think I’d be keen to see him again.
No dates tonight. Am seeing Mr S (who dumped me) tomorrow for our first, post dumped, date. Messages are really different between us. I’m missing the easy flow we had before.
There was a train driver I was chatting to on Bumble but he’s unmatched me after I was too busy to reply to him yesterday.and a date with Mr Artist on Thursday.

ItsAMiracle, the relationship thing worries me the most but I don’t feel I’m in the position to judge, although I was married for ten years I have had a lot of short relationships in my life (week, months long). He says that he ended most of them apart from one where he was dumped, he’s very open about everything. I have a feeling he doesn’t stay in relationships as he doesn’t like being told what to do, the same with work so as soon as someone starts trying to tell him to do things he’s gone. At the moment I can only really see it as a FWB thing as chances are he will vanish in a few weeks when I say something he doesn’t like, I mean I maybe totally wrong but my gut is usually right.

@Lovemusic33 having short term relationships isn't that big a deal but having never had a long term relationship is concerning. How old is he? I'm assuming he doesn't have children of his own then? What did he give for the reason the relationships ended? I think he sounds like he'd be REALLY hard work in an actual relationship.