Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To be annoyed that someone sent my hubby a valentine card.

196 replies

amethyst123 · 15/02/2019 11:45

Just that really, I'm home all day on maternity leave, post comes through the letterbox yesterday about lunchtime with a red envelope looking suspiciously like a valentine card I turn it over and see my 7 year old dd's name looking closer I see it says to dd's dad followed by our exact address the label has been printed so no handwriting. So I open it (like you do) and it is a valentine card with big love hearts saying be mine, inside is just a big question mark in pink lipstick.
Am I right to be annoyed that someone would sent a happily married man with three kids a valentine card?
I'm thinking that they don't even know him as they didn’t put his name on the envelope but they obviously know the name of one of our children, also our dd's name is spelt unusually so unless they knew her they would probably spell it the usual way but they got the spelling right so they clearly know her name but not his. So then I'm thinking is it a mom from school or a teacher? It can't be someone we know or close to us as they would have put his name on the card surely even if it was only his first name. I really don't think he is having an affair and again even if he was why make the card out to dd's dad?
It can't be one of dd's friends as they are only 7 and surely not clever enough to print a label, find a first class stamp and post it without anyone knowing. It could be someone playing a joke but again why put to dd's dad on the envelope? Plus it's not very funny when your hormonal and suffering sleepless nights with a baby.
Sorry for ranting but I have been up all night thinking about it.
Does anyone have any suggestions please?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/02/2019 11:53

Of course you're not unreasonable to be annoyed. That's just beyond skanky to be honest.

Did you talk to DH about it last night?

ShadyLady53 · 15/02/2019 11:57

Ugh. YANBU. That’s pretty sick of someone to do and can imagine it’s made you feel upset. Whoever she is she sounds like a nasty piece of work. Disturbing that she used dds name too.

MustBeAWeasly · 15/02/2019 11:59

Ew 😳 someone a bit desperate perhaps? A single mum from school or one in an unhappy marriage has seen him picking dd up and fancies her chances? Very low if so!

Original poster
amethyst123 · 15/02/2019 12:00

I stuffed the card in my handbag and didn't tell hubby about it, wanted to see if he mentioned anything about post first or acting suspiciously. He didn't though just came in from work with a card and gift for me.

OP posts:
NWQM · 15/02/2019 12:02

That’s so not on... in so many ways! Try not to let it bother you too much... after ripping it up in small pieces and demanding ‘I’m upset by this’ ice cream which you can share with your obviously attractive husband smug in the knowledge that you are actually his valentine.

theredjellybean · 15/02/2019 12:02

I'd have shown dp and laughed it off..

hellsbellsmelons · 15/02/2019 12:02

You opened your DH post and then didn't tell him about it!?
I'd not be happy about that TBH.

Racecardriver · 15/02/2019 12:03

Well I don’t think I could help looking for that shade of lipstick on the school run. But the reasonable thing to do would be to forget about it.

Original poster
amethyst123 · 15/02/2019 12:03

I do feel like this might have been done to hurt me, I was on the school run yesterday and this morning looking at the colour of other moms lipstick. I'm driving myself mad.

OP posts:
KelpianCasserole · 15/02/2019 12:08

So I wonder if any if your dds friends has an older sister? Sounds like a (young) teen crush. A child that age won't think about possible consequences

WeeDangerousSpike · 15/02/2019 12:08

That's really nasty. I'm sorry OP, I get why you're upset, I would be too. But does it help to think whoever it is clearly doesn't even know his name, or they wouldn't have put 'dd' s dad'?

Personally I wouldn't have opened it, but maybe that's normal for you and your DH.

Chickenwing · 15/02/2019 12:12

Have you told him yet? He might have a better idea who it is

pregnantforever · 15/02/2019 12:12

I don't think even a teenager would go to the extent of a label maker? Could it be a scouts or brownie leader? I'm thinking somebody with enough authority to know your address.

Original poster
amethyst123 · 15/02/2019 12:13

I don't usually open my hubbys post but as it looked like a card on valentines day I was very suspicious and the card was not sealed properly so I carefully peaked inside. When i saw it was a card I was enraged at why someone was sending it to him.

OP posts:
SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 15/02/2019 12:13

Completely understand why you aren't thrilled at someone sending him a card. But, as you've correctly determined, this obviously looks like something completely unsolicited, from somebody he doesn't seem you've ever really engaged with (they don't know his name), and he isn't responsible for somebody else's poor behaviour. So you certainly shouldn't let this influence your view of him.

But you do need to tell him about it. You opened his post, and then hid it in order to test him. You owe him an apology for that.

Then laugh it off. He's with you.

ImNotKitten · 15/02/2019 12:15

That’s really horrible. Are you going to tell your DH?

Drogosnextwife · 15/02/2019 12:20

Oh ffs, it's hardly an important letter to the ops dh, so of course she was going to open it yo see why her dh is receiving Valentine's cards in the post then he is married!

It's a strange one OP. Definitely show dp, see what he thinks.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 15/02/2019 12:20

Ah you have to hand it over to him. I can understand why you feel as you do but you can’t hide his post. It’s clearly just a crush someone has and you can both laugh it off.

Drogosnextwife · 15/02/2019 12:21

Yo=to
Then =when

NannyRed · 15/02/2019 12:22

Sorry, still struggling with “So open it (like you do)” as I've NEVER opened mail addressed to my husband.
You do know that opening mail addressed to anyone else is actually illegal

Original poster
amethyst123 · 15/02/2019 12:23

Not sure how a school mom would have the number of our house and no parents from the school live in our small street unless someone followed us home once. We only moved to the area a couple of years ago and DH only does the school run once in a blue moon if his off work for some reason he dosen't even work locally it's a 40 min drive away. Parents eveing and school events are usually just me also. Maybe it's a stalker! But they clearly know my dd and the spelling of her name which I find freaky.

OP posts:
Adora10 · 15/02/2019 12:25

Really think you are over thinking OP and some of the response are OTT.

It was Valentines Day, sometimes strangers send cards to people they will never see or meet up with; let it go, it's probably just a young girl that fancies him.

I would not have opened it though but you can still give it to him, it's for him after all.

crochetmonkey74 · 15/02/2019 12:26

Op please ignore posters on here who get hung up on behaving EXACTLY PERFECTLY all the time- I would have opened it too- or sent a pic to DP saying ?????? and he would have told me to open it

It is freaky but I would tell him, both throw it away and chalk it up to one of those weird things- horrible though as if they know he has a child, they obviously know he has you too!

spanishwife · 15/02/2019 12:27

I would be laughing it off too actually... He's married to you, so unless there are issues in the relationship, it's just funny and stupid. A family friend's little girl always used to send my dad a Valentine's card when we were little. It was cute and silly and nothing meant by it, was just a bit of an in joke. Could it be from a child and the parent helped them do it and just thought it was a bit silly and meant nothing malicious by it?

Or, and this might be the case based on your reaction, someone is trying to cause a rift and you already have a feeling who it might be.

Ultimately, all you can do it show your husband and see what he says. If you're genuinely worried, then just show him and his reaction will tell you if there's something to worry about. If not, then try and see the funny side, or you'll just cause and argument and make him think you're doubting him.

roses2 · 15/02/2019 12:31

It could be a friend of DD rather than an older person - don't rule that out!

Swipe left for the next trending thread