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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To be annoyed that someone sent my hubby a valentine card.

196 replies

amethyst123 · 15/02/2019 11:45

Just that really, I'm home all day on maternity leave, post comes through the letterbox yesterday about lunchtime with a red envelope looking suspiciously like a valentine card I turn it over and see my 7 year old dd's name looking closer I see it says to dd's dad followed by our exact address the label has been printed so no handwriting. So I open it (like you do) and it is a valentine card with big love hearts saying be mine, inside is just a big question mark in pink lipstick.
Am I right to be annoyed that someone would sent a happily married man with three kids a valentine card?
I'm thinking that they don't even know him as they didn’t put his name on the envelope but they obviously know the name of one of our children, also our dd's name is spelt unusually so unless they knew her they would probably spell it the usual way but they got the spelling right so they clearly know her name but not his. So then I'm thinking is it a mom from school or a teacher? It can't be someone we know or close to us as they would have put his name on the card surely even if it was only his first name. I really don't think he is having an affair and again even if he was why make the card out to dd's dad?
It can't be one of dd's friends as they are only 7 and surely not clever enough to print a label, find a first class stamp and post it without anyone knowing. It could be someone playing a joke but again why put to dd's dad on the envelope? Plus it's not very funny when your hormonal and suffering sleepless nights with a baby.
Sorry for ranting but I have been up all night thinking about it.
Does anyone have any suggestions please?

OP posts:
UnderMajorDomoMinor · 15/02/2019 18:55

Good resolution OP!

Jux · 15/02/2019 19:55

It's from your dd. She's got together with a friend, or with friends, and they have probably sent Valentines to all of their dads.

Whatever, he can't control other people, and cannot be held responsible even if the school's best MILF sends him a card. You can be enraged if he sends one to her though.

I think you've seriously over-reacted even factoring in whatever hormones you're acting under; try to control that jealousy, it's not nice.

Drogosnextwife · 15/02/2019 20:04

And to open up an online discussion about it when he has no knowledge of it is dreadful. Total strangers are able to debate the situation whilst your husband is left in the dark

Yeah I think this is what 98% of the threads in AIBU and some of the other topics are like. Not many people posting tell the person they are posting about. Have you not been here long 😂

SpiritedLondon · 15/02/2019 20:41

Opening someone’s post and then hiding it = weird & controlling.

Bluntness100 · 15/02/2019 21:31

To be honest, on this one, the husbands end reaction. Is equally as strange, unless the op convinced him.

BertrandRussell · 15/02/2019 21:38

If my dp sent the children away then said “Bertrand-I have something to confess and I need a serious talk. A letter arrived addressed to dd’s mum and I opened it and it was an anonymous Valentine card from someone who doesn’t know your name.I hid it so I could watch you and see if you were behaving in a suspicious manner, but you weren’t. Can you come up with an explanation that will reassure me?” i think I would either suspect he’d had a breakdown or I would leave.

Valentinesschmalentines · 15/02/2019 21:40

Is he hot?

Closetbeanmuncher · 15/02/2019 23:52

My money is on neighbour/local or one of your "friends"

Either way my best guess is someone close enough to know where you live and its out of spite.

I would keep your antenna up though, and by that I don't mean driving yourself bonkers over lipstick shades.

Mmmmbrekkie · 15/02/2019 23:57

At first he was flattered

Anyone else read this and think “yuck”

Closetbeanmuncher · 16/02/2019 00:08

@Valentinesschmalentines you knob....😁

You must be one of those desperate single mothers @MustBeAWeasly referred to??😂😂

Just to be clear we aren't racoons 🤣🤣

WoahThereMama · 16/02/2019 00:36

It’s from your DD surely?

AlaskaSometimes · 16/02/2019 00:54

Have you asked your daughter? Why did you send the kids away to show your husband the card? Bizarre.

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 16/02/2019 17:08

Sorry to sound alarming but could it be a neighbour or someone from where you lived before? Why did you move? I think you have some digging to do!

Dolceandgabbana14 · 16/02/2019 19:17

Do you have a babysitter?

zeeboo · 16/02/2019 19:25

If it was a parent at the school that would explain why your dd's name was spelt correctly. Maybe they see it on your dd's coat peg, or in a school newsletter or nativity play programme or they help out in class so no how it's spelt. I only know the Dads names of my dds classmates if they are social media friends or people we know really well.

zeeboo · 16/02/2019 19:26

I was also convinced it was from your dd until you said the ? Was written in lipstick. Surely no teacher would use that in a class project??

AryaStarkWolf · 17/02/2019 14:41

Do you have a babysitter?

Surely a babysitter would know his name though?

Livelovebehappy · 17/02/2019 20:30

Pretty obvious that it’s from a mum at school. Not necessarily seen him on the school run, but could have seen him out with you or dd and so obviously knows the connection. As for opening post, a lot of couples have a pretty relaxed approach to opening each other’s mail. I tend to open DPs mail as some bills are under his name and he is rubbish with timescales for bills etc. He doesn’t mind, and vice versa.

Livelovebehappy · 17/02/2019 20:34

And absolutely no way would a 7 year old do this. It’s too complex for a 7 year old to navigate, nor I suspect would it cross a 7 year old’s mind to do it.

Bobbycat121 · 17/02/2019 21:18

Surely the op would know her 7 year olds hand writing and it would look very different from an adults?!

The school would NOT send this! cant believe that was suggested!

Aridane · 17/02/2019 22:10

bobby - no handwriting - just a pre-printed address label

Bluntness100 · 17/02/2019 22:16

The school would NOT send this! cant believe that was suggested!

Our daughters school did this, so you're wrong right there.

Bobbycat121 · 17/02/2019 22:29

I read it wrong, I thought it was writing inside that said be mine. hmm still dont think its the 7 year old.

bluntness your childs school sent out valentines cards to the childrens parents addressed to them? really? Was that both parents or just to the fathers? strange!

Aridane · 17/02/2019 22:32

I think it just had a question mark in written in lipstick with the 'be mine' stiff being part of the card's preprinte message

spinabifidamom · 17/02/2019 22:37

I think something is up. Why would someone buy a card then scribble on it with lipstick? That is the part that makes me feel uncomfortable and suspicious. Have you talked to DD?