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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My mother-in-law gives my DH a Valentines card every year (he is 47!)

200 replies

Rachelsmum10 · 30/01/2019 20:18

I dont know why but this annoys me intensely. She has done this continually throughout our marriage. Uuuuurgh!!

OP posts:
RupaulsGagRace · 31/01/2019 00:29
Shock I can understand the novelty of giving it to a child (DD is 10 months and ill get her a card just for jokes)...but a 47 year old son. Bit weird lol
barkingfly · 31/01/2019 03:47

No, it's sweet.

Monty27 · 31/01/2019 03:50

Eeeeeeew Envy feeling ill emoticon

Aquamarine1029 · 31/01/2019 03:51

If this is the "worst" thing she does you are a very lucky woman. Why is this such a big deal? I think you are massively overreacting.

MumsyJ · 31/01/2019 04:05

Nothing wrong with that. Except maybe you want to shed more light on your post?
I'd find it rather hilarious than annoying.

rainbowstardrops · 31/01/2019 04:07

Really? I just find that plain weird! Confused

mindutopia · 31/01/2019 04:11

I get one from my mum every year. She’s the sort that buys cards for every commercially marketable occasion. I’d probably get one for St Patrick’s Day if she could find one. I don’t consider it weird so much as annoying. I feel about 10.

FixItUpChappie · 31/01/2019 04:44

My mum gives me a Valentine's Day card every year....I'm 42. It's just a tradition. What does it have to do with you really? Would you find it off putting if your mum bought you a Valentine's Day card? Confused

Boysandbuses · 31/01/2019 05:09

It's clearly just a tradition. Don't let it bother you.

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 31/01/2019 05:14

I think that’s weird and creepy and odd. Women who can’t understand that their sons are not their love interests are just strange.

Roystonv · 31/01/2019 05:24

It's a thing that links them through the years, fun and harmless. It might not be your thing but it's theirs so let them be (unless there is a massive back story!)

Now100 · 31/01/2019 06:50

Don't these people realise valentine cards are for romantic relationships?

another20 · 31/01/2019 07:14

How is the rest of her relationship with him and you? What is shelike generally?

bigandbumpy · 31/01/2019 07:16

It's odd and unnecessary!!

ClownsAndJokers · 31/01/2019 07:16

Does she have anyone else to send a card to? I'd love a card for valentine's day, wouldn't really mind who it was from! It's just an expression of love, surely?

areyoubeingserviced · 31/01/2019 07:21

Unless there’s a backstory, I can’t see the big deal. It’s just a family tradition

AttilaTheMeerkat · 31/01/2019 08:10

Its both odd and unnecessary from her. Valentines cards are declarations of romantic love.

How does your H feel about receiving this from his mother?. Did she send him this type of card every year prior to your marriage?.

Notcoolmum · 31/01/2019 08:11

It sounds like a harmless family tradition. My nana always got me one and if she was still alive I’d expect to still be getting them. It’s not about romance, it’s a tradition between them.

They are entitled to have their own relationship that is separate to you. I hope my son and I continue to have a loving and wonderful relationship once he is all grown up and partnered.

finn1020 · 31/01/2019 08:12

That’s kind of sweet, and kind of weird, and kind of funny. Harmless though, why not?

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 31/01/2019 08:23

My son is 4 and I can honestly say I've never got him a Valentines card.Ewwww

Rachelsmum10 · 31/01/2019 09:22

Well, there is a back story - She has never really ever thought I was good enough for him - she thinks the sun shines out of his bottom (if only she knew!). She will make snide remarks from time to time about my housekeeping abilities (I work a 45 hour week!) in front of my children and sometimes to my face. She has now taken to changing our bedding every week (on a Thursday when she watched the kids). I have always been told to keep quiet and not bite back for the sake of peace. I think that this is just one more thing she does to piss me off. She is very passive aggressive. Perhaps I just take things too personally....

OP posts:
Musti · 31/01/2019 09:27

Let her change the bedding and don't take it personally. You both work so it's as much a dig at your husband as it is you or maybe she's being helpful. I would pull her up on criticising you or make passive aggressive comments back - say, yes you wish you were a lady of leisure like she was and was able to have a spotless house or tell the children in front of her how important it is for a woman to have a job and use her brain and not just be a boring housewife etc.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 31/01/2019 09:28

Yes she does sound like a monster, looking after your children for you and doing some chores.

You sound awfully bitter over something which has no bearing on your relationship whatsoever.

DuffBeer · 31/01/2019 09:28

Ha it's a bit cringe really. Does she sign off with "love from your secret admirer"?

Disfordarkchocolate · 31/01/2019 09:30

Changing your bedding, that's creepy!

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