My mother-in-law gives my DH a Valentines card every year (he is 47!)

[Rachelsmum10]

I dont know why but this annoys me intensely. She has done this continually throughout our marriage. Uuuuurgh!!

It's not a personal attack at all. You have shown that you can't understand that people see valentines day differently. Insisting that various posters or their parents engage in 'creepy' behaviour is pretty rude tbh.

“That's not the same thing as impugning someone's qualities as an individual.”
Hmm. Suggesting that my father’s behaviour towards me was sexually inappropriate and vice versa seems to impugn my “qualities as an individual” a bit!

I am finding it really upsetting that some here have described my lovely dad sending me a handmade valentine card wasnsomehow creepy/sexual. For goodness sakes do you never think that actual people are reading your attacks !

I could insist that, in my family, Christmas is actually a very sad and dark festival that marks the death of John Lennon, but that wouldn't mean that anyone else had to accept it. Do you see?

No one is asking you to accept this though, if you don't like it, don't do it. No need to be rude about those who do. I don't mind at all if you choose to commemorate John Lennon at Christmas...you crack on!! Anyway, it's hardly a great leap from celebrating romantic love to celebrating all love, as evidenced by the fact that clearly quite a lot of families do send valentines cards.

Totally get thatninsome families it would be odd. There’s absolutely no need to Be offensive to those families where it is perfectly natural and a really lovely thing.

“I am finding it really upsetting that some here have described my lovely dad sending me a handmade valentine card wasnsomehow creepy/sexual”

Don’t be upset. Just be thankful that you don’t think like that.

BertrandRussell: does your mother also send (or did she send) you a Valentine's card too?

It doesn't seem sexual to me, but more sort of possessive

Don't be daft kennehora, festivals change over the years.

Mothering Sunday is no longer about visiting the church in your home town. Pancake Day is not necessarily about feasting before Lent. Many celebrate Christmas without giving Christ a second thought. Some people celebrate love of all types on Valentines Day.

I was a bit upset earlier, what with your confident assertion that I must want to have sex with my own children and so on, but now I see that you're just someone incapable of understanding that things have moved on a bit.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, OP! (But I do agree that criticising your housekeeping skills is de trop.)

I will confess that when I was in my twenties and early thirties I did find my dad making and giving me valentines card was a bit ‘odd’ and definitely put it down to home being American. Then I grew up and realised how very lovely it was and loved them! So I think it may also be a bit if a developmental thing. Differing reactions depending on where you are I. The whole parent child experience.

You seem awfully sensitive for someone who cheerfully said all of this to anyone who said they sent cards to their children, even if they explained their entirely innocent family tradition :

"It's weird and creepy for parents & children to exchange Valentine's cards."

"Parents shouldn't be sending expressions of romantic/sexual love to their own children."

" disturbing and creepy "

"Well... yes? I thought that was completely clear from my posts." (In response for someone asking you if you thought it had incestuous overtones)

"It may be 'just a bloody card' but it's a card that comes from a tradition of sending cards to people you want to fuck."

"Yes, a parent sending a child a Valentine's card has unpleasant, incestuous, sexual implications. "

"OP is right to be creeped out and disturbed."

"Valentine's cards are sent to people that you want to fuck." (You were so proud of it you said that one twice)

I feel that my summing up of your insinuation was fair, and my 'personal attack' (about you not realising that things had moved on? Really?) rather pales against your own comments above.

To kennehora of course

We have a similar tradition in our family and have given our DS a card every year. He's now a teen and no, whilst we wouldn't give him a romantically based card (clearly) we always still give him a sweet note to remind him just how loved he is and how proud we are of him. Your MIL changing your sheets OP - I would can that immediately! Boundaries!

@HeronLanyon Please ignore the haters on here. I totally understand your father's completely lovely, innocent, fatherly intentions. He wanted to express how much he loved you and used the global day of love to express it. Some of the hideous, vile suggestions made on this thread are exactly that - hideous and vile. Stand proud and thankful that you had a loving father and your family loved one another. Because in the end, that is truly all that matters.

It makes me think that there are people on here who have never walked into a card store in their lives - there are cards for ALL members of a family . Open your eyes and get off off your analysing couch ! Blimey !

rafabella

Funicorn, yes in a card shop yesterday and saw Valentine's cards addressing daughters, sons, mothers. There are Disney princess cards for daughters being advertised on Moonpig at the moment, even ones from the dog ('to the best poo picker upper').

The one I saw to a son made me think of OP's situation, the words in the card were lovely and entirely appropriate - something about being very proud. I don't know why you'd feel the need to put a stop to it or embarrass your dh's mum about it op. If someone set out to embarrass my mum like that I'd be annoyed and upset with them.

I won't send my kids cards but I will pop a few love heart chocs in their lunch box as a surprise. It's not something I would do but I think its sweet when other people do it.

I sometimes cook a nice dinner and put a tablecloth on and make a heart shaped dessert. I think it's good to celebrate all forms of love and not just sexual love.

Its obvious that there are no sexual undertones in the examples given on the thread by posters who send family cards. They are celebrating that love and you can be sure that families where there is actual incest going on do not send each other valentines cards.

Card is creepy but bedding is even weirder!