Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

rich
I messaged her earlier asking her if she fancied meeting up in the week Message read a couple of hours ago but no response, not looking promising really

Not a good sign but she may be busy with work.
(Thought I'd copy your post over from the previous thread so it doesn't disappear.)

Love, I'm using ex as shorthand, we didn't date for long. Definitely not long enough to explain this.

Beyond sounds frustrating, no one wants a ex messing you around

Rich sounds shit sorry.

My friend just got a message about someone she is dating from bumble from an ex (found her on FB) warning her he is a liar and messed her around.

She upset but I’m a bit hmmm, I eat sending messages about cheating/abuse. But being messed about? Surely that’s what us on this thread have had tonnes of! I’m not sure if she should dump or assume he could be different with different people. An odd one from OLD I think!

Placemarking

Have told my iron we'll take a couple of weeks break. I'm tired and got a lot of stuff going on. We're not serious enough that he can or should support me, and I CBA.

Place marking. Did have a chat with Mr Ritch . We have agreed to try things again but it's baby steps all the way

Thanks guys, it does feel like a fade and probably hoping I just get the message but it's so hard to read people via texting as you never know if they are busy.

Well I'll leave it now as I've been direct and see if she responds, if nothing by tonight I'll write it off.

placemarking!

It’s shit rich I got messages from the 2 irons I sent finishing texts from today and both were ok, one still trying but being ok. But mainly they both said “thanks for not dissapearing”.

It happens a lot to everyone, it isn’t you, you are clearly lovely, it’s rude and hurtful to fuck about with peoples feelings and not be straight. I suspect my date for this week is doing the pre-meet fade thing and it just makes me think they are a coward who wouldn’t be able to handle my amazingness anyway

Random question..

Am I the only one that isn't attracted to guys that have a higher voice?
Don't get me wrong a really deep voice is a little unusual.
But I prefer a mans voice rather than someone that goes all high esp with they get angry.

When you talk on the phone for the first time its always interesting.
I do like to be attracted to someone's voice and tone.

I would say at least 50% of males voices or slightly higher than deeper.

*are

I've just a quick question about Bumble, if that's okay?

I signed up yesterday, and I have had a few matches, and I would like to message all but two of them (probably not suitable on reflection, they say they want kids but I've got kids and don't want more). My question is about what to message.

Do those of you who use Bumble find that a simple 'Hi, how is your day?' or something like that better, or would you try and say something funny? I've only messaged a couple of guys on other dating apps, and didn't get any reply, so I'm feeling a bit unsure. I do have (what I think is) a good sense of humour, and I like that in a man, so my instinct is to go for a cheesy joke or something, but I wonder if that is a bit off-putting or something (hence getting no replies before).

Any thoughts?

I had a text off a man I met up with two weekends ago.
TBH I am not sure he is really my type, so I haven't chased or arranged another date.
A few days every few days or so.
He texted earlier so say cos I haven't been in touch he assumes I am not interested in getting to know him further. And he values openness and honesty.

I replied saying I has been bit busy and other small personal issues.
I said I wasn't sure what he was exactly looking for and that I prefer to talk time getting to know someone.

He thinks I am maybe looking for something different and he is after a serious relationship.

I said I am after long term but maybe at a slower pace to others.
Have suggested a phone call.

1- I have been messaged other people

2 - Busy weekends actually

3- Wasn't sure if I liked him more than friendship but I don't like to judge after 1 meeting.
Plus he never suggested a follow up date just another chat on phone if I am interested..

He also got a red mark for not walking me back to my car when we went out.
We parked in different places so he went one way I went the other.
Yes it was only 4- 5 mins but after 10pm on Saturday night.

Me too unique you aren’t alone, I video called an iron once who seemed attractive and interesting. He high pitch giggled.

Thesheep i always struggled with thinking what to put on the first message. Its easier if the guy has lots on his profile so I would perhaps ask him a question. For example, I messaged a guy who had travelled so I just said 'Hi insert name, what's the most interesting place you have travelled to'. That actually got an interesting discussion going.
If they don't give much away on their profile, its harder. I find 'Hey how are you?' messages a bit boring and lack effort though.

Marking my place as 'girlfriend' to MrPicard!

unique - I know what you mean, got to have a manly voice. A bit random but do you watch The Undateables? There's a macho looking guy called Richard on there sometimes, with a very high voice! Lol. Am not laughing at him (my son has autism) just an example of what's not sexy.
sheep - I don't msg first but if I get a 'Hi, how are you' it's just dull. What always grabs my attention is if they comment on something personal about me and I don't mind a joke.

I generally put something about something in their profile, for that awkward first bumble message.

Or 'nice beard '
Or something fascinating like that. I really hate messaging first, sometimes I just write that, like hi can we just pretend you sent the first message 🤣

Crappy that's what I was thinking, about the generic 'Hi' messages. One of the guys has already messaged me on Tinder just now, so that's one less to do! None of them give much away on their profiles. Just one mentions that he's a farmer (and I live on a farm, although I'm not a farmer myself) so I could perhaps mention something about that thing in common. On the other profiles there isn't much, other than they have kids.

I might open with a dad joke, the sort that needs an answer. If nothing else it might give someone a laugh! It's certainly the sort of thing I'd reply to, where I wouldn't necessarily to a 'Hi' or something.

I’m not enjoying bumble, I have no idea what to write in a first message, maybe we should make a generic message we can all use? 🤣, I matched with someone who I have spoken too before on other dating apps, I really like the look of him and his profile but when we talked before it didn’t really go anywhere, so we matched on Bumble, he then used the extension thing so I thought ‘he must be interested’ sent him a ‘hello, how are you?’ Message and have had nothing back.

I’m panicking about tomorrow, the forecast is saying that it might snow and we are on a warning for icy roads, the place I’m meeting my iron at is in a place known for snow (higher ground) and rural so roads could get icy. I have a real fear of driving on ice (today I skid as the roads had not been gritted here).

Well she's just replied and I'm still none the wiser, her response was 'I’m going to have to play this week by ear'.

Hi @TheSheepHaveEyes Bumble does give you suggested opening lines to use. Have you looked at those ?

TheSheep if there's nothing in their profile then I'll ask a question. I've used "Dry January or not?", "Cappuccino or latte?". Or other similar ones.
Look for something on their photo to comment on. Where are they, if it's outside?

Anything except "hi"

Well I'm unusual then... I'd prefer a "hi, how are you" to a forced question 😂😂