Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

super I haven’t got a name for him yet as I dont no much about him other than has a unusual name and a beard. We are meeting at 11am and I feel really nervous, also panicking about the weather because if it snows I may get called to collect dd’s from school and dd2 will be over an hour and a half away.

I’m not sure if there’s anywhere to walk near where we are going, it’s a big pub in a main road but in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know the area that well, just somewhere where I drive through occasionally.

Haven't posted in a while! This thread moves quick! I'm on tinder and bumble but not talking to anyone, plenty of matches but no conversation!

Hope everyone else is having more luck! Xx

I guess I really am in this dating pool now. Mr lawyer asked to meet for coffee on Friday lunchtime. Not had a date in over 20 years!!! To say my knickers are in a knot is an understatement. Hope I don't do anything Bridget Jones like.

He's insisting on traveling to me, we live about 30 miles apart. So I have to choose a venue, do you think a little country pub in the village over from me is ok/safe? It's about a mile from where I live but he's not to know that.

He has a head full of hair, faded handsome, only slight thing is he's the same height as me but I am tall. Gawd, what am I doing!!!

cheese that sounds like a good place to meet-don’t be nervous-just take it as meeting a new person.
dan have pm’d you
music good luck with brunch date

It's slower than usual for sure. Got a few wee casual chats but nowt much besides 1 is interesting

shit I don't get it tbh!! I haven't had a date for a while now!
Having a shit time at the moment emotionally

Bumble messages - a lot of people don't reply so I find it a bit annoying /time consuming to have to craft witty opening lines! I've generally had the most success with a brief compliment, like nice suit or nice beard. Everyone likes flattery I guess, plus if it's short it doesn't come across as if you are making too much effort.

Had a really good second date with the guy that's really now my only iron, I'll call him Mr GoodHair from now on :)) ended up dtd which I wouldn't usually so soon but it felt very natural and was great. Not worried that he will now disappear as I think he does really like me.
I would quite like to know if he is dating other people too though, I am not planning to as I like him a lot and also I was previously in a busy period of multiple dating (he was one of three dates in one week :)) and I'm just a bit tired of all that.

Sorry to hear about the answer from that girl Rich , I'd say that's very shit on her part and to leave it. At the very least she's being extremely flaky and who needs that?

Can I just ask about sex talk?! I've been out of the dating game for so long that I don't know if this is a 'normal' now or not.

A few times, I've been talking to someone on one of the apps, who seems really lovely, we're chit chatting about them, about me, jobs, likes, dislikes etc, when all of a sudden they'll start talking about sex. Sometimes it's just sort of suggestive comments, usually starting off lightheartedly (eg I'd love to snog you...etc) and then getting more explicit, but sometimes it starts off quite explicit. Now I'm not a prude at all, and I don't mind partaking in a bit of sexting etc, but I find this surprising somehow, although I'm not really sure why.

I don't know whether this is fine and normal and most people do it (it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable or anything), or whether these guys are the ones I should be keeping clear of?

Any pearls of wisdom?

Sorry, I should have added, there is one guy I've been talking to today, who seems lovely, he is attractive, great on paper if you know what I mean, but then the sex talk starts, and now I'm not sure whether to suggest a date.

shitwith I'm finding it really slow at the moment. And I'm debating whether to just ditch the apps....again!
But then a friend of mine split up with her boyfriend about a month ago. Gets on Tinder and immediately gets 10 matches all very chatty. Two days later she's on a date with one of them. Has a few dates with him but they decide that they're not suited.
Back on Tinder and a few swipes later she's got more matches than I have in a month. All chatting to her. She chooses one, has a date and decides he's lovely and they're planning to spend most of the weekend together.

I'm trying to find her secret but I've no idea how she does it. Her photos are all selfies, none of them are great. She never writes anything in her profile. And if she messages first she only ever says 'Hi'.
Some people just have the right look, I guess.

@TheSheepHaveEyes I think some people think it's normal, it bores the fuck out of me unless I've already exchanged bodily fluids with someone (which it stated in my profile!)
Still plenty tried it but it was an instant no from me if they did. I found it so generic and they're obviously trying it on with anyone for a cheap thrill 😴😴

sheep not normal if you’ve not met. I’d tell him you don’t feel comfortable chatting this way with someone you haven’t met. Or just stop talking to him. Obvs different if you have met and are really sure the chemistry is there between you.

I'm with wishywashy, a few have tried turn it very explicit with me too and they've always turned out to be chancers who are just after one thing - and often not even IRL, just a bit of sexting fun! I'd avoid, the good ones don't do this..

@wishywashy6 Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I'm no prude and there is definitely a time and place for it, but that's just it. There's a time and place for it. But then like this guy today, he's done a bit of sex talk, which felt awkward and like he was trying to do something that he isn't entirely comfortable with (or like he was trying to be something that he isn't to impress me or something), then we've gone back to talking about what we're having for lunch and favourite pizza toppings.

I'd have definitely met him if he hadn't done it, but now it feels like it might be awkward if we meet, which I feel disappointed about because other than that he seems lovely.

@TheSheepHaveEyes 100% agree. I'm far from a prude but for me to be turned on by someone I need to have some kind of connection with them away from all that. I think my profile said something along the lines of 'looking for someone who can engage my mind so if you can't hold a conversation without referencing your penis then I'm definitely not the girl for you' accompanied by the attached pic
Whatever trash they came up with was never any good anyway, my imagination could produce far better

Could I get some opinion on my profile?
It's not working for me but my friends can't see why.

I need some feedback from people who don't know me.
PM me if you can help.
Thanks

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking maybe your friend just is looking for different types to you, or swiping on more than you. My friend was the same, and got loads of matches but she was swiping very differently to me, very hot much younger men who id always stay away from! Or maybe also men I might deem a bit sleazy looking! It's just more her type and she got matches and would also be someone who met very early on, and also dive straight into a relationship. So I guess I'm saying, don't critique yourself unnecessarily. There may be a number of factors involved.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I'm happy to review your profile too, but maybe a man might be better!

To be fair, this bloke today wasn't crude or anything, he sent a photo to prove he was who he said he was in his profile pics and made a comment about not being the sort of bloke to send a dick pic. He told me he'd like to snog me (which I would definitely enjoy!), then started making slightly more suggestive comments. I think more than anything it all felt a bit forced or awkward somehow.

Eesha have PM'd you.
My friend & I like the same type of men. So we swipe right on the same ones. She gets the matches, I don't.

TheSheep I don't like those messages if I haven't met someone. I can handle a little flirty banter but nothing more. Yeuck!

@TheSheepHaveEyes I guess it depends what you're looking for out of it. I went into OLD with no expectations of meeting anyone special, I really didn't care if anything came out of it or not. Was purely to get to know some new people and see what happened. It didn't take much for me to say no to people and stuff like that just instantly made me switch off and move on to the next 🤷🏼‍♀️
If you think he's worth a shot though then maybe you can look past it and hope that his flirting is better in real life!