Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I'm happy to have a look sometimes it's easier when a stranger looks as they can be objective

@TheSheepHaveEyes I'm no prude but just don't engage is sex talk with someone I haven't met. Each to their own but it's not for me. I've been suddenly deleted on many occasions for not participating

Chocolate123 have PM'd you. thanks

I hate even suggestive chat before we’ve met. It’s cringeworthy and I block anyone who tries it as it never turns out well. In my opinion, the best place to flirt is... in person!

Yeh I hate any kind of sexual chat. Roll my eyes.
I had a chat on the phone with someone new couple days ago.
It lasted 2 hours.. he was quizzing me quite a lot regarding dating and what not.
I don't mind long chats but I tried to say it's not normal to have such a long chat every phone call.
Then it was the usual I try and give it 3 or 4 dates to see if there's chemistry rather than judging too soon and you just don't know until you meet.
Blah
I said how I had an experience with someone ages ago that invited me round their place but they had a friend staying there as well. He basically said sounds like an orgy. Dark humour.
Yes not funny.. see that didn't cross my mind more I just wasn't ready to go round or meet his mate.

I don't mind a bit of sex chat /banter if I'm in the right mood and if I've decided we won't meet. Not actual sexting, just banter and heavy flirting/suggestive stuff though.

I'd be too embarrassed with someone I was seeing or planning to see

@TheSheep Tbh those guys depending on how sparkling and witty the rest of their chat is - I might see what it's all about. Mostly though I play it by ear - if it's clumsily done it's a real turn-off. I have had smutty chat and been sure i'd fancy the guy though - and turned up to find nah! no way. In person I got no chemistry AT ALL

Yeah, it's not actual sexting, just suggestive/heavy flirting.

Hmmm. I'm thinking I might have to forget this guy as a possibility, which is a shame because otherwise he's lovely.

Maybe guys throw in flirty chat I'd they are nervous?
I bet they wouldn't in person
A guy saying they are into kink freaks me out.

See I'm wondering if he's doing it because it's what he thinks that other men do, because he's nervous? It doesn't feel like it is something that comes naturally, if that makes sense, and feels kind of awkward and scripted or something.

@TheSheepHaveEyes maybe try and steer convo away from it. You won't really get a feel for what he's like unless you meet him so if you can look past it then maybe suggest meeting up?

There's a ton of info online and floating about the place now - for men re: dating etc. Literal scripts. Lines. I've seen the same lines in 'witty bio's' .... that may be why it's coming across as forced.

Oh, he has just divulged that he has a minor disability (which doesn't bother me in the slightest btw), but I wonder if he has been knocked back for it in the past, and is trying too hard to overcompensate for it.

I'll do as @wishywashy6 suggests and steer the convo away from it. It would be a shame to write him off, I think, if that is the reason.

My brunch date turned into a lunch date and almost a all day date. Very easy to talk too, we had a lot in common considering we come from totally different backgrounds (he’s South African). I kind of felt he was more intelligent than me and slightly out of my league but then he told me about a few other people he had dated and I felt superior 🤣. We started off with just a drink, missed breakfast so ended up having lunch and didn’t leave till after 4pm. I offered to pay a part of the bill but he said I could pay next time (good sign hopefully). So all seemed good but then again people are usually on their best behaviour on the first date. There was a kiss before we parted ways and it was a nice kiss.

sheep perhaps it's just nerves then, fingers crossed you get a date from it!
love - fantastic! Sounds great

I’m finding it all a bit weird at the moment. I seem to have acquired a few irons but I don’t quite know what to call them. I guess they’re FWB but I wasn’t really looking for that.

I’m so disillusioned by the men I’m seeing on Tinder and Bumble, I’m hardly swiping right and the ones I do swipe right on aren’t matching with me! The few matches I’ve had either haven’t replied, or haven’t messaged. But to be honest I’m not overly fussed, I think I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist...

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I’m happy to take a look at your profile if you like? Another woman’s perspective if you want it? 😊

@TheSheepHaveEyes I’ve found nearly all the men I’m chatting with or have chatted with have moved on to sexy talk, some sooner than others. And some more explicit than others. Not sure if it’s an age thing (I’m talking to guys in their 40s and 50s) but some certainly go straight in with it, but then I switch them off. Time and a place gents, time and a place.

Love what a great date. It's a good sign when it's lasts longer than expected. Let's hope date 2 happens soon

Sidge have PM'd you, thanks

MyOldBrain
I've love to have a look too, not sure how much help I can be but happy to try

MyOldBrain have PMd you - I'm happy to take a look, if it would help? We're similar ages, I think?

Hi all it’s koko12 here. Had to reregister my account as received an email to say I’d been deregistered-spoke to MNHQ and they said it was cancelled from my end (I definitely didn’t do this!) so wondering if my security has been compromised.Anyone else had this happen to them before?Anyway I have had to reregister so have lost all my pm’s - dan hope you managed to read my feedback on your profile and tooold hope you received my second pm.
Glad today went well love

Sorry myold typo! Apologies 🤦‍♀️

CocoKoko123 yes I read it. But I did wonder why it said all your messages had been deleted shortly after.

@supercali77 what on earth is a money fetish? And do I actually want to know
Had another message from somebody calling me a sexy little doughnut. Not sure Badoo is for me.

myold and then I realised I’d used the work f* in my reply to you (was in a rush and the word just came in to my head and I typed it without thinking) and thought maybe I’d offended you and you’d reported me lol! I have no idea. dan I hope you received my pm giving feedback before my messages were deleted as felt I had given some good advice.

If a guy asks me what turns me on, I always reply "A guy who doesn't ask me what turns me on". Adjust accordingly as can be used as a reply in several ways when they start with the sex talk/banter.

Thanks at whoever asked if I was okay after my barrier crash incident yesterday, I'm fine, had looked at car briefly after it happened and it looked like minimal damage but have noticed it's a bit more substantial today, visit to my mechanic for a quote soon, hope he is kind lol.

I have a coffee date with OKC guy tomorrow (the one who I asked about opinions about getting a photo before meeting). he hasn't offered a photo and I haven't asked, we are meeting in a public cafe and I have a built-in excuse if i need to leave after 30 minutes.

Good luck to all of those on dates this week!