Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Scot that's scary, hope you're okay?

I've been OLD on and off for over 3 years. I got very tired of replying to 'hi, how are you' messages ! I've that I find someone chatty and quick-witted really attractive, and they tend to be more original than that. I'm also not keen on being interviewed - asked about my job or where I last went on holiday etc. Unless it naturally comes up in general chat. I'm a fussy cow I've done okay on OLD though.

I would tend to go for gentle teasing or something random, based on profile and pics. And that's the kind of first message I'd respond favourably to, too.

Dan don't know if you want another person to view your profile? I'm not in your age range I don't think, but am happy to look if it would help?

I've found that I find, that should say ...!

@midcenturylegs I would move on. If he is talking that much about another woman, whether or not he fancies her is irrelevant as it shows he clearly doesn't have much interest in you or else he'd be asking you questions about yourself instead! Also if you are travelling 150 miles to see him, and it's usually a night in with dtd, then I would say that's all there is to it. If he can't even be bothered to take you on a date after going all that way, then get rid and get some new irons. Would be interesting to read other takes on this, but for me its defo a no if you're looking for something more.

Regardless of what becomes of my current iron, who I’m seeing for a second date this week, it’s reminded me that the early days shouldn’t be hard when you both like each other and want to get to know each other better. There’s been no game playing or sitting around waiting for him to text. It’s been really refreshing. I just can’t be bothered with irons with whom conversation is like pulling teeth or who seem happy to chat for weeks/months without asking me out. What a waste of time.

Does anyone have experience of dating British Indian men?
I don't think he's particularly religious and his family are relaxed.

Unique they aren’t one homogenous group, you know that (while probably not meant) that post comes across as a bit racially stereotyping?!

Which religion for example? There are Catholics, Sikhs, Muslims... but of a melting pot is India.

I’ve dated an Indian from India (Muslim), Bengali, had British Indian friends, there are some cultural similarities at a very base level as you would get with British men, but you really can’t judge by any of it!

Yeah I know I'm generalising a bit.
I've tried dating Muslim guys before but it's really not worked out beyond a few dates.

He's probably a Hindu or Sikh I'm not 100% sure.

Evening guys I'm driving myself crazy and need a reality check. So long story short. I told McDreamy I didn't think things were working out. Then we were still messaging and he still came out on Friday. We had a fab time he had a go at me for not responding to messages and ignoring date offers which was true but I though he was pulling back and was backing off. We were both pretty drunk and I know I said some things I wished I hadn't like accusing him of going on other dates. Anyway we basically agreed we were moving forward and we would chat on phone instead of WhatsApp.

Anyway I didn't respond to a message he sent in response to me for 6 hours and then I went to bed he didn't phone. I had message this morning no kisses or emojis - unusual. I sent a nice response I've not heard from him since I sent a message a couple of hours ago just to show I'm not playing games I.e. waiting for response. I now realise a pattern of amazing date then he pulls away a bit I'm trying to just give him space but I'm worried he's remembered all the stuff I said and is now having second thoughts or he feels he said more than he intended like discussing going on holiday together etc

Help 😭😭😭

Currently just talking to the one guy. We check in with each other throughout the day and it all feels very natural. A first for me in OLD. Feeling pretty chilled but it's quite nice!

@midcentury yes as above....while I have a lot of guy freinds and when chatting i naturally mention them....its not a continual thing. I can't believe your guy is doing it ... he's clearly clueless. Who thinks a woman wants to hear that? Id start distancing and looking around again x

midcentury I'm not the jealous type, but that is not acceptable at all !

@focus got a bit confused about who did what in your post. After the heart to heart he texted but you didn't reply for 6 hours and then went to bed with no call...? Did he know he was supposed to call that Night? The text no emojis next day I'm reading as ... sullen? You discuss troublesome communication and then don't reply?? Maybe. I might be reading it wrong but it sounds like he's into you but you guys have v different phone communication styles?

So funny story. Mr hot crazy doctor who it turns out knows a freind of mine. Last night he was actually going to a gig with her! She texted me and said...look he's had some issues but he is a fun and good guy....just have an adventure. So I thought fair enough. She didn't tell him about me....i asked her not to. It adds pressure.

So anyway last night they're at this gig and then go back to hers for drinks. He's texting me while she's in the loo also texting me. Really quite odd haha. But kinda amazing to have a lady spy working for me. He and I were talking about jazz. He loves music and I love jazz. He was saying he also liked it. Meanwhile she texts...he HATES jazz haha but really likes your chat. Anyway he was relentlessly bantering so she went out and told him to bloody get on with asking me out. So he did. Huzzah!

@supercali77 @BatshitCrazyWoman @helpmeoutout

Thanks for your advice. I had a message from him last night asking how I was and to let me know he had booked a work trip departing from an airport near to where we were talking of going away to for a few days.

Received this whilst on a date...

So now a bit confused.

This is 3 weeks away.. I think I'm going to see how the correspondence goes over the next week or so, ignore any sex messages etc. So "distance myself" (great advice!) somewhat without completely shutting it all down.

This sounds quite clinical but I think I might also start to list out the times I receive messages from him are divided between 1) nice 2) sex and 3) that other bloody woman

Sigh
Xx

Someone on Badoo has sent me a message saying they want to spoil me and take me shopping is that some sort of weird code for something else?

@LavateLasManos no idea but it'd be an instant 🤮 from me. Hated it when guys said that kind of thing

Getting nervous about my brunch date, never been on a brunch date, do pubs even do brunch??

At the gym at the moment working off enough calories for a fry up or bacon sandwich, then back home to get dressed.

@Focus2019 how are you feeling today?

@lavate - my gay freind says this is a thing on grindr - it's a money fetishy type thing...maybe not for this guy but it exists haha

@love - who's this brunch date with? :)

Enjoy @Lovemusic33
Hope it goes well

@lovemusic33 I've found with brunch dates it's nice to suggest going for a walk afterwards (if there is something nice to see around you that is!)
Good luck and fingers crossed