Would a big age gap bother you?

[Dragon4Pie]

I'm not looking for hate. I'm just asking if it would bother you?

Someone is 14 years older. Thanks.

How old are both parties?

My dp is 15 years older. Never notice it but it depends what age you both are.

There was 15 years between me and exh. He quickly turned into a man beyond his years over 50. ..
New dh is 10 years younger than me!! Very much better suited as same outlook on life.
Very much depends on the individual ime.

I think as you get older age itself matter less as you know yourself more.

What matters more is whether you are compatible in terms of interests, expectations and life stage, by which I mean are you both looking for the same thing from the relationship.

You also need to be realistic that it will be harder, sooner, in terms of potential health issues.

Have you known each other long?

As long as both parties are adults it really is nobody else's business.

30 and 44 not an issue.
16 and 30 - big issue.

You may not notice the age gap now but believe me you will soon.

My boyfriend is 16 years older- I'm 20, he's 36. Love him to bits, been a year and 4 months now!

Currently having a nice cuddle after Boxing Day lunch at his parents :)

I am 21 and he is 35

Yes, of course it is no one else's business, but I'm asking how people would feel about it/any problems or if it's all fine, as it's me asking for myself

It would me. You’ve got a lot of living to do at 21 that at 35 you’ve done. I think it would be a nightmare for marriage / children etc.

Half your age plus 7, you're ok. It works at any age

Half my age plus 7?? That's 17.5??

Sadly I agree with @potteringalong. In your 20s there are lots of things I did that I considered done in my 30s. For a short term fling it might be fun but if you want anything serious out of it then I would suggest that you think long and hard about it.

It would bother me. How come you've ended up together (if you have)?

Are you entering into it as a bit of fun, or potentially as a long term relationship?

I got together with my Oh when I was 25 and he was 52. So a difference of 27 year s! Put that in your pipe! We are still together 22 years later. We really, really love each other.

Sorry half the older persons age +7. The gap will get smaller, but the younger person may grow out of it, or the older one fed up with being the parent, or be jealous as the younger one matures.

The fact your posting on a place like this and framing the question as you have would imply it is bothering you and that your concerned how some people will see your relationship.

In principle there’s nothing wrong with those ages. People mature differently, have different outlooks in life. It’s possible to make she gaps such as yours work. However 20’s are typically an era of change. Changing views and changing priorities. So perhaps the long term prospects aren’t necessarily promising.

I don’t know him and I don’t know you. So it’s difficult to say. But as previously mentioned you’ve come on here to discuss it which implies it’s bothering you. Maybe in your case the age gap is too insurmountable? Do you love him? Does he love you? Does he treat you well? Do your family and friends like him?

Have you discussed the children issue? At his age he might be done having children whereas you're very young and could be looking to start having children in a few years.
I think you are both at different life stages so might be a bit harder. I am 36 and dp is 51 and we were both done having kids when we met and wanted the same things from life.

Not for me. Wouldn't want it for my DDs either.

Honestly I love him a lot and we get on so well and have a really great time. Family have been a bit jokey about it all though. Especially my dad being concerned. He does not want children yet so that isn't on the table and we both seem to be happy doing the same thing.

Lol, 14yrs no that wouldnt bother me. Iv had a 30yr gap before. Ironically i dumped him (he was the older party) for being immature.

Mindset matters. But with SUCH a big age gap the reality of ending up their carer is there. Mind you, young ppl can go down with MS etc so ur not immune to that in any relationship....

So you love each other and he looks after you, makes you happy and aside from the odd joke from family they’re onboard too?

In which case I’d not let the age difference be an obstacle. Enjoy your relationship. Make the most of it. Might not last. Might last a lifetime. Time will tell. Have a merry Christmas

My newish DP is 13 years older. Doesn't bother me at all apart from when he says things like 'you're too young to remember this but...' and then I feel like a child! We are 40s and 50s though so by the time you get to our age it doesn't matter. 20 and 34, more problematic potentially.

it's a bit too much. now it is not a problem, but when they get to 50+ and are an old man, you would be still a mid-30s woman full of life. I have seen that with a friend of mine. people all of a sudden decline in energy and looks.