Would a big age gap bother you?

[Dragon4Pie]

I'm not looking for hate. I'm just asking if it would bother you?

Someone is 14 years older. Thanks.

You'll never believe this- just spoke to boyfriend about this thread and mentioned I said I was in a relationship at 20 with a 36 year old- he turned around and looked at me... "I'm 35!!" He said! 😆 I'm the worst girlfriend ever!😂😂

@WendyCope if your husband is mean to you, why are you with him? Who cares about if he's mean with his money? You have your own!

WendyCope DP bought me things that he knew i wanted and/or he knew i'd like. Including several surprises. We shopped for DD & DS together. Being a shit present giver has nothing to do with age!!!

bathtimesanity DP forgets his own age & tells everyone he is 48 😂 cracks me up every time cos he looks so confused

@Pissedoffdotcom 😂😂 so funny! I forget so much honestly!🙈

I have a 10 year old with him, it is not so simple. It is not about my happiness any more. He knows it. Does not want to get divorced at his age whereas, I am in my 40's.

I would not recommend it at all.

@WendyCope I'm sure your 10 year old will be better off with you alone that with someone who is mean/cruel to his mother. You can choose to divorce at anytime, you are not stuck in this relationship forever. Wishing you the best.💐

Thanks bathtime You are very kind x
It was wonderful for 10 years, at 60, something happened!
Complicated though as I stupidly followed him to HIS country and had DD there. I cannot leave (unless without her) which I would never ever do,

22 year age difference with me and my DH. Its great, but i've always liked an older man

@bathtimesanity - I don’t feel attracted to any of my friend’s husbands but i can often see what attracted them to their husbands. In this relationship I can’t but maybe he was a more attractive man/had a more interesting personality when he was younger

Absolutely not. There is 21 years between me and my partner. Been together for 12. Still in love. He's my for life person.

It's not the age gap, it's your age that makes me feel uneasy. At your age your brain is not fully developed. I think a lot of adults in their 30s would see you as very young. It is hard to explain and you won't understand it until you are in your 30s yourself and look at girls in their early 20s, I consider them to be young adults, so older than teenagers but not quite a full adult lol, I would be kind of protective towards them and so on. I feel bad when I hear girls that age do silly things and are then gossiped about as people in age group are generally expected to make mistakes. This probably sounds all very patronising but I am not patronising towards them, it's more of a subtle thing, an awareness of being older! So I find it kind of creepy when older guys go for girls who are in their early 20s!

Purpleisthenewblue, I think often if the woman is older they won't entertain the idea. I'm 31 and get lots of attention from guys from 18-23, and they can be full on with the compliments and chase, while I can appreciate that some of them are cuties, and some of them have great bodies, I just couldn't go there, I would feel really strange about it!

Think it would matter more in later life. And would worry about my DD's marrying someone who was significantly older than them.

My dear friends' husband is almost 20 years older than her and she is now his carer. She is late 50's and he is fast approaching 80. His health is failing and the last time I visited them I was quite shocked at how frail and elderly he looked compared to the dashing George Clooney look alike she married 20 years ago. They didn't have children as he already had kids from his first marriage and he didn't want any more. She has confided in me that although she loves him dearly she feels very alone is struggling to look after the elderly gentleman he has become. His children aren't interested as they took sides with their mother when their parents divorced. She says that when he is gone she will have no one (no family). We do speak often on the phone and I try to get to see her as often as I can but we live at opposite ends of the country and the logistics of me getting there are difficult.

I know health issues can happen at any age and she could still be in the same situation if she had a partner who was younger. But all the same I do feel very sad for her and the life she now has.

I don’t think it has to be an issue tbh - I have a good friend who is 34 and her DH is 54, they are really happy.

I'm 27 and dh is 37. We've been together over 10 years and married 6 years. We have three beautiful children (6, 4 and almost 2) and he has a lovely 15 year old son. I'm so in love with dh and he adores me, I couldn't imagine my life without him. People will judge age gaps and people will have age gaps and have bad experiences, that's a shame but it doesn't mean that's everyone's experience. Also with the step children issue people have said, I've had my stepson here all day, dh is at work but DSS came and had dinner with me and his siblings, was lovely. We get on really well. Life really isn't all doom and gloom unless you allow it to be that way. If people aren't happy in their relationship they should leave them, age gaps or not. I always say, the positives should outway negatives. Staying 'for the children' is not an excuse anymore in my opinion. I think its much more damaging for a child to see a toxic relationship and grow thinking that's normal than them grow up with their parents apart. We have our ups and downs like any couple but on the whole we are strong and happy.

@bathtimesanity my relationship started off very much like yours. I was 20 and my partner was 40. We worked together. He didn't realise I was as young as I was at first. We were friends nearly a year before anything happened. I was 19 and he was 39 when we first met. I'm now 32 and we've been together 12 years. He is my soul mate. He cooks, he cleans. He looks out for me. He never held me back. I went clubbing and did all things people in their 20s do. We are now ttc. He means the world to me. He was very worried about the age gap when we got together. I have a lot older head than my years. His a younger disposition. He looks a lot younger than he is. Keeps himself fit. We spend a lot of time laughing. We've been through ups and downs and got through them all together. We are so strong. He gives me the kind of love all my friends are searching for. I am very lucky to have him.

DP is 18 years older than me and 5 years on he is still the best thing that ever happened to me, along with his children

@WendyCope ah shit, I'm sorry you're in that situation- could you sort out getting your child citizenship in your home country? Or maybe even a passport so you can visit regularly and get away from him for a while?

@NewHouseFreshStart10 I'm so happy for you, that sounds amazing!💐 personally I wouldn't like to have step kids but I'm so glad it works for you!

@Pearlsandgems your story is so inspiring! I wish you all the luck in the world TTC!

There are 14.5 years between my DP and I and we've been together 3 years and have a baby together. He's the love of my life. However, I wouldn't have considered going out with him when I was younger. I'm in my late 30s and he's late 50s and we have the same sort of experiences in life. At 21 and 36 you will be in very different places.

@Keepingupwiththejonesys Wish you all the best for the future! You sound like you have an amazing DH!

Under 25 and past 30s is a bit much I think. You change too much between 18 and 25. Brain is still growing too.

@bathtimesanity Thank you so much. It's not always been easy as any relationship has trials and tribulations. But I will never regret time spent with him. He knows me inside out. All the things he does for me makes me realise how lucky I am. I've always preferred older men anyway. No Freudian thing going on. I just like mature intelligent men who can make me laugh and hold a conversation with. All my friends and family get on well with him. Never had any negative comments. How did you guys meet?

bathtimesanity you do come across as naive. Comments about what behaviour men like in women and your comment about finishing a degree then having a baby, saying the younger women are usually gold diggers etc.

Most women finish their degree, start their career then have a baby. Because a year off inbetween can very much impact career prospects.

Some age gap relationships work out great and I hope you're is one of them. But there is an imbalance. You come across as very young. Not surprising because you are.

What you don't realise it's not about being judgy or catty. It's about life experience. I thought like you at 20. I had a child at 22, o didnt go to uni and had established my career.

I don't regret any of it. But, looking back, I do know I was naive. That's totally normal.

And again, Even if it works for you doenst mean it works in all cases. There still stuff people should be wary of.

Wouldn't matter a jot to me. If the chemistry is there, it's there.