Would a big age gap bother you?

[Dragon4Pie]

I'm not looking for hate. I'm just asking if it would bother you?

Someone is 14 years older. Thanks.

Personally I'm always dubious as to why the older one isn't going out with someone his own age. Seen lots of threads on here where the older man controls treats the woman like a skivvy.

Yes, you need to ask yourself why older and wiser women don't want him.

36 year old man, never lived with anyone ..... any woman his own age would be highly suspicious already.

DH 14 years older here... wouldn't be without him BUT he doesn't look his age so that helps alot 😂

I'd question what a 35 year old guy wants a 21 year old girlfriend, to be honest

@SchnitzelVonKrumm @ISdads that's very judgemental! He just didn't settle down until around 2 years ago! He has a great job, after uni he moved to Dubai on an architectural contract and worked there for 6 years, he's a lovely guy, always well presented, great clothes, great home. He had his heart broken some years ago by a previous girlfriend and didn't have a long term relationship again till he met me.

Very judgemental comments when you know nothing about him!

@Dan89 maybe because the woman is attractive, intelligent, loves him, he can sees future with her, she loves him? Etc. Loads of choices as to why a relationship would work out! Don't be so cynical!

@HJWT same! My boyfriend looks super young too for 36! Really attractive.

Some of the comments on here are so judgy!

Maybe rude would be better than judgy actually! Since judgy isn't a real world lol 🙈

@SchnitzelVonKrumm just because a woman is older, doesn't mean she's wiser- you should know that! There are plenty of young, intelligent women with good heads on their shoulders! That's the kind of attitude that men don't like, women being catty towards on another. 🙄

@SchnitzelVonKrumm my DH was with his exP for 10 years... she was having an affair with her boss! Not everyone is an ass hole.

Yeah, I guess all the women his own age are just too judgy

Based on your posts I would be more concerned that you want different things out of life and are not compatible for that reason.

What is his past relationship history?

I definitely agree with the comments about slowing down after 50 and how that would affect a younger partner.

@Notacluethisxmas I am defensive as age gap relationships are judged harshly and feel I want to defend my boyfriend and our choices. Definitely agree the majority don't work out (classic gold digger girlfriend/controlling husband kinda deal) but there are some amazing ones out there! And if you're happy, who cares?

Finishing a degree and then trying to conceive isn't that foreign of a concept?🤔 I would stay home for a year with baby then start my career! what many women do! Anyways it can take years to conceive so I'll be still be working towards building my career and starting it anyway as then it's another 9 months pregnant.🤗

Would you rather I don't get a degree and just get knocked up now? 😂

bathtimesanity I was slaughtered on here once for saying I'd set my lower age limit to 26 on old as a 34 year old guy.

I still think 21 to 35 represents a completely different stage of life, though

@HJWT ah that's awful! So gross on her part.🤢 glad he's found you! X

Same age difference as me and dh. My advice looking at 56yo dh is don't do it.

@Dan89 definitely agree, it can, if you are a 20 year old party person who wants to travel and have multiple partners before settling down- but that's not me. :)

I'm not even in uni yet, starting next sept so I wouldn't even be looking at ttc until I'm at least 24 and finished with it!

@NicoAndTheNiners thanks, sorry you aren't happy, hopefully my life doesn't turn out that way, I'm optimistic!

And when I say "looking at" I don't mean in the looks dept. I just mean considering everything, how his outlook on life is compared to mine. I was 22yo when we got together, it wasn't an issue when he was 36yo.

In principle, no, a 14yr age gap doesn't bother me.
But you're at completely different life stages and in every such relationship I've seen, the younger partner misses out on so much because their DP has been there and done that already.
Enjoy dating him but if it's not working let it go.

Online dating age limits are really useful for weeding out the arseholes. I won't contact anyone who is looking for below 25 (no matter what their upper limit is), and then up the limit according to their age (eg man 55, maybe a lower limit of 40). Really weeds out the total sleazeballs.

I had a relationship with that age gap when I was 19-22. He was also my boss at my Saturday job. Creeps me out a bit thinking about it now tbh.

I was a lot more mature than him in some ways. We didn't split up because of the age gap though, it just turned out that he was a total dick. If only it hadn't taken me three years to realise it. Sigh.

@Rainbowqueeen if it comes to be when he's in his 50's and we aren't compatible, I am free to rethink things, as is he! But right now we are so happy. Live in the now- not the future. There's always options.
I can't see myself wanting to leave him anytime soon.

Like I said previously, he had his days in Dubai partying whilst he worked out there, I'm sure he had some small relationships/one night stands out there. The only serious one he's told me about cheated on him unfortunately and it really made him close up for some years until he met me.

I have seen it, and in those cases, there was always this a tad patronizing dynamic by the older, male partner that has put me off. Mansplaining on steroids. Then again, one of my relative‘s only boyfriend who was not a complete idiot was 15 years older, and he might have been her best shot at happiness, had it lasted. She finally married an older man when she was mid 40‘s. Worked out ok for a while, but now turning 60, her DH is approaching 80 and I dare say, the age gap now puts a strain on their marriage.