Just moved in with partner and found out this...

[mobey]

So I've upped and moved in with my partner and his dad
We did it to save for a mortgage
His dad travels a lot for work has a big space so it seemed ideal
Until now .....
Been together 3 yrs
Been a struggle as he has moods which he's been trying to work on
Thought by moving in we would have less money worries
Anyway just found out tonight he has invested £2k into bitcoin?
Don't know much about it other than my partner has a debt of 35k and is always looking for get rich quick schemes.
Failed businesses, borrowed money if his dad who seems to hand it out willy billy and £35k later he now wants to start another business with his friend ?!

We've argued tonight because he says I'm not supportive of this business and I need to believe in him
But I've moved in with him, upped and moved my life by selling most of the things in my flat (had a 8 month plan to buy a little house somewhere) and now I feel trapped

He doesn't know I know about bit coin
He says he can do his current job around the business but I don't think he can
He's stressed, tired and I can see since moving in with him he's just doing what he wants to do

Am I being unreasonable?

Feeling very alone please help

Willy nilly
Lots of typos sorry !

Money is one of the biggest issues between couples. I wouldn’t be on board with this and it would be a deal breaker for me.

Cut your losses and get out now. There is only one way this is going and you don't want to be there for the ride.

This is not a person you want to be making a life with.

The older I get the more I think it's so important to be with someone who is financially sound - not rich, but not bloody stupid with money. Honestly, it's far better to be without someone than to be with someone who will throw away money. You will never be secure with someone like this.

Nope. I could never share anything finance wise with someone with that approach so probably couldnt share a life. The getting a mortgage is out for example. You’d lose the house for his debts.

I think the £35k of debt would have put me off much more. He sounds a dreamer, whereas you aren't. That means you'd struggle with him. You're not trapped though, you could stay and save - but for your own little place..

I'd immediately remove myself from that living arrangement and even if you stay in a relationship with this man do not get involved in anything financial with him.

Why on earth did you move in with someone moody and in big debt due to reckless financial behaviour?

Run for the hills!

Well it didn't sound great even before you mentioned the money trouble.

He has moods? Which he is working on?
Sounds like a barrel of laughs.
Why on earth have you moved in with him?

Using his address could potentially affect your credit rating.

How is he dealing with the 35K debt?

I hope you have separate accounts and that none of these business ideas involve your money. I wouldn't be comfortable with any of what you described and I certainly wouldn't want to be involved in any of it.
Usually you invest money when you have money to spare. He sounds very irresponsible. It may be that he will make money with one of his investments one day, but more likely that he will increase his debt.

I moved in because we can save a decent amount between us and we've been together 3 yrs
The £35k is from a failed business years ago and we went to see a financial/ mortgage advisor in the summer (one of the things I made him do when he said about moving in as I wanted a plan) he said we would get a mortgage for £250 k which would get us a nice little house ( on both our salaries ) on a help to buy so we only have to save 12.5k which we plan to do in 8months as we can live rent free with his dad.
Yes he has made BAD money decisions but I thought since meeting me he was turning his life around
I guess I feel like I've invested emotionally
No he hasn't used any of my money
I have just over 6k in savings already and yes separate bank accounts
That was supposed to be towards stamp duty and legal fees but obviously not now after what I've learned tonight
Yes it sounds bad, just this bitcoin thing has put the nail in the coffin
I'm on right move as I speak
I have savings
Just sad and feeling like a fool

And his 35k is on a dmp and as it's over 3 yrs doesn't affect the mortgage - so yes it's a worry but won't stop us getting a mortgage

I just put it down to making bad decisions years ago and thought can't punish him forever as I thought he was trying so hard but now this bit coin and this bloody business it's all too much

He's 38 years old too, 8 yrs older than me

Don't feel like a fool, staying with him another 10 years and tolerating more failed investments would be foolish.

You will NEVER in a million years get a mortgage with this total loser. All he will do is bring you down. You have been warned. If you continue to carry on with this total emotional hoover who will NEVER be solvent it's your lookout, but be aware that doing so is financial suicide. Your call.

You are not going to get a mortgage with this fella.

Get out before you end up subbing him and paying off his debts.

Use your money to buy a flat instead and get the hell out while you can.

I couldn’t live with someone like this as even if the money was rolling in the up and down uncertainty would drive me bonkers

He's a complete idiot financially and if you stay with him, your money will go the way of his.

You have this chance to eventually buy your own home. Don't let this man mess up your plans.

You’re foolish at all. You’ve got your head stewed in because you’re leaving him.

And he’s 38! He will never change. Spending 2K on bitcoin, whilst he’s supposed to be saving up, confirms what a complete twit he is.

Anyway just found out tonight he has invested £2k into bitcoin

Questions:

You found out tonight but when did he invest it? Recently (since you've been talking about saving for a mortgage) or longer ago?

How much is it worth? £2k invested in bitcoin a few years ago could be a nice little nest egg now or worthless.

How do you know? Is he deliberately hiding it from you? Was there lies or cover up on his side or was it just an 'omission'?

He will drag you down. It makes no sense ti try and save while accumulating and servicing debt. His record on investment is poor, do not enable his behaviour. Get out while you have your dignity intact.

Oh lord. Looks like you saw sense ok

You would be crazy to buy with him, he'd probably lose any future house by using it as a business guarantee.

The older I get the more I think it's so important to be with someone who is financially sound - not rich, but not bloody stupid with money. Me too. When I met Gordon neither of us had any money but neither had any debt.

He has moods, so much debt it’s hard to see how he’s going to pay it off and is making “investments” without talking to you even though you are supposed to be both saving for a future together.

I’m not sure how many more red flags you need OP before you LTB.