DH has called DD an ‘insufferable c#%t’ - am horrified

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I have nc-ed for this. She ‘disrespected’ him (she is 14) and he shouted that at her and told her to fuck off (repeatedly) get out of his house and stop using his electricity and eating his food.

I’m in utter shock and horrified.
In the meantime DH has not spoken to her or me or our other DD for 72hours and continues to ignore us.

He’s had similar outbursts/sulks before but this takes the cake!!

I don’t know what to do. I’m so angry about how she’s been treated. Resigned/bored with the sulking. Have learnt not to initiate conversation but have to wait until it’s brought up. It’s absolutely unacceptable but what can I do about it??!! Feel totally helpless.

Any advice?

Message from MNHQ: The OP has updated the thread. Please read her recent post here.

Leave him?

You can get a divorce

Disgusting man

That's beyond shocking. Divorce would be one answer that I'd be considering.

LTB

what a cunt

I couldn't accept that behaviour at all, more so when it's directed at a child. He's a dick. I would leave him.

Ltb if this shit isn't a one off. The sulking, ignoring and lack of apologies is almost worse. What an arse. This is abusive behaviour op and terrible parenting to your kids. I don't think there is anything you can do really if he can't apologise.

Bloody hell. I thought I had a temper. It that's absolutely appalling. I'd tell him - anger management class or he's got to go. Poor DD

“Have learnt not to initiate conversation”

What, so you aren’t allowed to say anything? What will he do if you do say something?

You do know your Dd will remember, not only her father calling her a cunt, but that her mother did nothing.

Leave. Your poor children

Have learnt not to initiate conversation but have to wait until it’s brought up

You need to get out of this abusive fog.

Cuddle your daughter, support her, and then throw out the man who is emotionally abusing her.

Ltb!

I'm sorry OP. He sounds dreadful and abusive. Ignoring you all for 72 hours is horrific as is the original shouting and swearing. Have you thought about separating? I couldn't live like this and certainly wouldn't want my DCs to do so. Good luck.

You leave him, show your DD she should not be treated like this!

Leave him. Not simply for the name-calling as much as for the lack of apology and the silence for three days afterwards. No insight; no accountability. In short, he is a man-child.

It's quite shocking for a father to speak to his child in such a disgusting way. 14 year olds can be annoying and they which buttons to push, but your husband is an adult and should not respond in such an aggressive manner.
It is deeply concerning that you feel you can't speak to him about it unless he brings it up. Why do you let this man silence you? Are you scared of him?

So you can't initiate a conversation?
He swears at DD and tells her to get out. Is she his daughter?
He ignores you all for 3 days?
What on earth's going on? Chuck him out! Whose house is it?
No way would I put up with that!

What would your advice be if a friend told you her DH had treated her, a grown woman, this way?

I'd hope you would tell her to leave him.

Because this is even worse than that.

That’s terrible!
How long has he been like this?
He must have done it before!

Leave. Nasty man.

My mum said similar to me at 14, our relationship never recovered and I resented my dad for not leaving her to protect me and my DB

What would you tell your daughter to do if her boyfriend said this to her?

Why aren’t you telling him to get out?

That would be a deal breaker for me and I would leave my husband if he ever spoke to either of my children in this way. If you stay with him it sends her the wrong message that this sort of behaviour is excusable and shcould be tolerated which it absolutely should not.

• should