Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

So, am starting to get excited about Saturday’s looming date.Went a bit crazy at the shops today buying some new things to wear for the weekend.
Saw an old OLD I had a fun few weeks with when I was first single and trying out OLD a few weeks ago until he cooled off, so swiped right just to see what happened and after a bit of messaging back and forth he’s potentially taking me to a gig in a few weeks time by way of apology and we’ve reminisced about a few things!all fun and games

Thanks for starting the thread koko. Just marking place and then will go back and read the last messages on the thread!

Sounds exciting koko. Sometimes it's nice to go and revisit old dates!

@Whoknows11 I'd play it cool and let him chase you for dates.

@DaffoDeffo he sounds like a dick!!

@Whoknows11 there's really very little you can do or say about that. You need to just accept that's his choice. It's a perfectly legitimate reason for him not to be available.
The last thing you want to do at such an early stage (or indeed any stage!) is come across as needy or clingy as that's a surefire way to make a man run a mile.

You said you'd already got another date arranged with him right? Leave it at that for now, do your own thing and try not to get too hung up on this one guy.

If you feel like you're doing all the work at this stage then it's probably time to take a step back and see if he puts in some work. It's fine to maintain a bit of contact but you don't want to be the one doing all the chasing all the time and I always find if they're really interested they won't want to let you slip away.

@Whoknows11 It's a reasonable excuse, mates before dates and all that, a bit annoying though when you want them to be keen.

@likeridingabike and @wishywashy6 thanks for the advice. I replied saying not to worry have a good night. I’ll def leave it now until he puts in some work!

@Eesha yes I’m definitely going to now!

Thanks for the new thread.

I just went on Bumble and messaged a few of my matches. I have matched with someone who lives in my village and now I’m trying to work out if it’s someone I know (most people know each other here), I have messaged him.

Mr Nature still keeps sending me selfies and he still doesn’t look atractive, today he mentioned handcuffs and feathers 😐

No night out for me as friend was unwell plus no irons in the fire despite being on Bumble and PoF and Tinder! Im feeling like im too fussy and I'm becoming a monk.

Eesha I feel the same, I can’t find anyone on POF that I find atractive or interesting, I only get messages from people looking for one thing or really ugly old men. Tinder has run out of people for me and I haven’t matched anyone for ages (probably because I swipe left).

eesha and lovemusic no harm in being fussy-quality over quantity I say!

I'm trying to get rid of MrNY1. I had a lovely lunch with him and would have seen him again but the more I have thought about it, the more his unusual hours would be an issue for me. I just can't see how we would see each other regularly if he's DJing and everything else he seems to do in the evening.

I am still aghast at selfish prick. Thank god I figured this out before we moved to a meeting!

wishy it is hard but there isn't much you can do :(

well met Mr Cheekybanter, apparently he's good at reading body language and could tell i wasn't chuffed when i walked over to his car. i got in and we started chatting and we got straight to the point. He was a little defensive but we hammered it out to find out where we were going forward and I reiterated I had boundaries.....(finally a man who can resolve an issue without getting arrogant, defensive, shouty and abusive). After 5 minutes we resumed normal proceedings and back to the way we had been on first meeting, More chemistry and a lot of sexual tension between us so looking positive....won't see him for a while anyway due to having the kids etc so will give me a bit of a break but we'll keep in contact and I've told him if i feel any of his cheeky banter is crossing the line I'll tell him and he will take it down a notch. Now off for a cold shower.....

Oh isn’t it soul destroying swiping through tinder, bumble and okcupid! I too am picky but refuse to lower my standards as don’t want to meet someone like my ex again!

Anyone recommend sites that you have to pay for? I’m thinking this might at least weave out the time wasters!

@Koko12 I actually saw a profile on Bumble where an average looking bloke wrote the usual spiel on his profile then added 'hope you aren't a lard ass' at the end. This just makes me lose hope in people

Eesha I'm sick of seeing profiles written like a shopping list must be tall, slim and blonde with no children, speak fluent Japanese etc. etc. from perfectly ordinary men. So many on Match are looking for women in their mid 40s with no children it's ridiculous.

@Whoknows11 Sounds like something's up. I'm sure most blokes with a chance of a date (and probable sex) would be on the phone sacking off their mate, without a second thought f it was just a chilling night. Do you think he has another date lined up that he doesn't want to cancel?

@Stapler99 hope you have a good time with Hat Boy tonight. ##You can leave your hat on##

MrYoung Just phoned me whilst he was on a break - first time we've spoken properly and he's really nice. I haven't really eaten a lot since we first messaged each other which is always a sign that I'm falling for someone in a big way. I married the last one that happened with...

MrOld told me today that I "tick all his boxes", but has yet to suggest a meet up. I'm not pursuing him, the ball's in his court.

I've hidden my POF profile, the messages were getting out of hand and I think for my first attempt at OLD 2 irons are enough at the moment.

@JeSuisPrest yes sadly that’s what I think!

Oh well I’m trying to play the field but I’m just too picky!

Your MrYoung sounds lush! Very cute you’ve spoken! When are you meeting him?

Whoknows In my opinion EHarmony was a total waste of time and money.

I met the guy I'm now seeing through Match (but he was the only one I ever messaged on there and had already cancelled then he appeared!)

Its a numbers game and to be fair there were people who I saw on Tinder etc who also cropped up on the paid for sites.

@Whoknows11 @JeSuisPrest
I'd be inclined to disagree. I wouldn't drop my mates last minute and I don't think it's necessarily any different for men.

I'd advise to keep swiping, try and get some more irons and maybe line up a couple more dates if you can? Being picky is fine but sometimes it's very easy to sit and pick reasons not to date someone instead of just letting go and giving it a go.
I always looked at it as just going out and meeting another human with no expectations. It may help to take your mind off this one a bit!
I think in the early stages, especially with your first OLD it's easy to get carried away and become over invested (especially once you've slept together) and you put them on a bit of a pedestal but taking a step back and getting out and seeing others helps to calm it a little!

@Whoknows11 It's so hard playing it cool isn't it? It doesn't come naturally to me. See what your next date with him brings.

Yes, we're due to meet during the day on Monday for coffee (or water - he doesn't do hot drinks apparently ). We're 1.5hrs apart which really put me off at the start but he's adamant he'll do the driving so....

Ok so ended up chatting to both guys tonight - first OLD guy from years ago gave me his no so I chatted with him for a bit and caught up.and spoke to mr weekend who is so hot. I really am looking forward to seeing him again.

Seeing MrBTO tmrw for a movie and we'll likely end up spending the weekend together.... All great but I'm massively over invested (despite huge red flags of him getting to mid 50s' having never had a ltr) he's sooo uncommunicative via text at times I do wonder. I decided to not respond much to texts this week.... He texted today to ask me out tmrw and booked tickets and a dinner table for us! Was feeling really glum about it all and stressed by kids but have just drunk half a bottle of wine, read /watched a ton of Matt Hussey stuff and feeling much better and reciting "I am the prize" in my head!