Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@scotgal hehehe. Ah ok fair enough, didn't realise you'd met....in that case, I am totally applauding the idea of filling yer boots!

stapler as far as I can make out ( and I'm quite new to the forum) an iron is soneone who we'd be chatting to etc might come from the sayin "having too many irons I the fire "? Hopefully you'll get a more definite answer soon

So Mr5Kids has arranged something for December..! Really wanted to see him earlier but our schedules don't match v well.. damn :-( Really like the sound of him too and we're having super nice chats - but how can you sustain that if you can't meet for over a month?

I think FWBs and multiple dating is totally ok until the exclusive chat is had! I didn't use to do this but I do now. Totally helps overinvesting.

I'm hoping to see my FWB Wednesday. He never stays...He's not on my mind much until I see him and then I swoon a bit as he is quite gorgeous and can be sweet (totally incompatible in life though)

I could do with some advice on this situ. So I've had 2 dates with Mr Geek. No kiss yet. He's suggested a few free weekends...but our childfree weekends don't match until the New Year. He's suggested a weekend in the New Year ! Whaaat?! It's nice to be keen but this feels odd.

I didn't say much to that apart from that our weekends will match then...
Thoughts?

@midcenturylegs it is possible! Keep it light and don't over do it but I was the same with my now boyfriend, our schedules didn't match for about a month after we'd begun talking so we maintained contact via WhatsApp until then.
Chats were very random and went off on complete tangents which is what I really liked as it didn't feel like it was just generic "hi how are you?" kind of crap!
Fix a firm date and then just keep convo flowing as much as you can until then without it being forced. If he's enjoying chatting to you as much as you are to him then there shouldn't be a problem ☺️

@coolcahuna No snog yet but he wants to organise a weekend away? Hmmmm I'd just suggest you'd like to get to know him better first.. might have an acorn moment and then you'll be stuck'

@wishywashy6 thanks for the super advice, yeah I think I can make that work.
Bloody hell though it's been about 8 months since I had a shag and about 18 since I've had a decent one!

@wishywashy6 forgot to say - that's great news that you've found someone 
My Mum (76) has just re-married after meeting someone online - so I know there is hope :-)

@midcentury - Yeah exactly! I've only spent 3 hours in his company so no idea where it's going yet. And I'm still swiping.
I feel bad that he's got a bit invested but it's nothing I've done. Eeek.

cool can you not see him another midweek night? Seems odd not to see him till the new year?

and same to you midcentury can you not just see each other for one evening? December is miles off :(

I do think the next few months are odd because of Xmas. I think if you have to wait that long, then you'd have to speak to each other regularly to keep it going. I would find it very hard to sustain something like for that long if I had only met them once or twice and not even snogged.

Advice please. Someone has message me on POF (a few minutes ago), he has no photo is local too me. He’s spotted my job title, I work in mental health, his message is asking me for mental health help ,I feel a bit uneasy about it, maybe more so as he has no photo, he could be anyone but it also rings alarm bells as he could actually be asking for help at a really bad time. What would you do? Should I just poi t him in the right direction of where to get help? He is in the same county I work in so I have contact and info I places he can access help. Or do I ignore incase it’s a hoax?

@love, I don't think you have any obligation to reply. You're on there for dating. I might be being harsh.

@daffo, I've suggested a mid week date . That is also proving tricky (mainly me with work). Hoping for maybe this Sunday evening. I'm not dying to see him or anything but I have alot on at the moment so I'm quite distracted. Hence I'm not so sure.

And yes good point, I don't want to wait forever and then discover an acorn!

cool I find it hard as I’m one of those people who wants to help everyone even though i know it’s not always possible, this makes me vunrable as I seem to attract these people. Most of my previous partners (and ex husband) have had mental health issues and I have ended up being their councillor rather than partner. This guy has stated that he’s not looking for a date or to meet me, he just wants advice. I have sent him a message advising him to go to his gp.

@Lovemusic33 is just ignore it now you’ve told him where to get help and probably change your occupation on the dating sites! I’m a nurse and when I wrote that I had so many weirdos asking me about uniforms etc it was very off putting!

I’m just going on date no.4 after I’d spent all day worrying it was going nonwhere fast! I’m actually quite excited to see him and it makes a huge change to my usual Monday’s!!

who I think I will just change it to ‘self employed’, this isn’t the first time I have had people ask me advice.

@midcenturylegs it had been about 8 months for me too! Worth the wait though ☺️

@love. Yeah once you've given a bit of advice leave it there. You're not on there as a therapist and it would be deeply unethical in both directions to end up being a counsellor to someone you've never met.

I used to put stuff about my job and the second I told someone my name it was one search to find everything you ever needed to know about me. Including my address. Gah. I took it down after I realised....people asking me stuff I'd never told them

I think I have got rid of the guy wanting counselling, gave him some advice and he was very greatful.

Now it would be nice if the perfect man got in touch instead of someone wanting to pick my brains about work 🤣

Luckily I can’t be found on google through my job but I will be changing it on my profile, I can now see why people don’t put their occupation.

Hi all,

I feel like you are all the dating gurus and I was just hoping for advice, I've been on tinder, bumble and hinge for just over 6 months and really struggling.

I'm not sure if anyone else has found this.. but recently I keep getting blocked 😂 I'm not sure if it something I'm doing but it's happened 3 times this week!! It's literally been in the middle of a conversation, all going well up until that point, 2 had even asked me on a date and we'd planned something then they just vanish..

Has anyone else had this.. I just thought 3 times was more than a coincidence 🙈

Thanks xx

Hi all,

Long term lurker here. I joined up to moan about being ghosted and how shit I'm finding OLD, but in the time it took to confirm my email address, I've got two dates and a possible third. Ghostie can now go fuck himself.

@StarStrucks

What are you saying to them?! 😳

I'm joking, honestly without knowing details it's impossible to say but it's highly likely that it's nothing to do with you and you've just been very unlucky!

Keep ploughing through ☺️

I've just moved 300 miles away from home and have jumped into an entirely different dating pool! Sooooo many good looking men on Tinder and POF! I tried Bumble some months ago but didn't like it... never tried Hinge. Is Match worth a go or are they all on Tinder/POF anyway?