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Original poster

Husband slapped our son and he has a little bruise

331 replies

Abbie268 · 02/10/2018 15:18

Not sure what to do really I don't think my son has noticed the bruise as it's on the back of his leg but I still don't know what to do I have always said no violence

OP posts:
Annasgirl · 02/10/2018 15:20

Well I never am one to say LTB but in this case I would be gone. It is illegal and you could have him prosecuted.

Original poster
Abbie268 · 02/10/2018 15:21

Yes I'm aware that marks are now illegal but this is the first time and I'm unsure if that would be very extreme

OP posts:
Emmageddon · 02/10/2018 15:22

How old is your son? Must have been a hefty whack to cause a bruise. If you were to take your son to A&E or your GP, safeguarding procedures would be triggered. Can you talk to your health visitor? Is your partner violent towards you or just your child?

Spudlet · 02/10/2018 15:23

He must have absolutely belted the poor child to leave a bruise. My parents smacked (as was relatively common back in the day) and they never left a mark! And I bruise easily and often.

SneakyGremlins · 02/10/2018 15:23

Why does it matter if it was the first time? You need to leave.

fleshmarketclose · 02/10/2018 15:24

Completely unacceptable, you should tell your h to leave your son has to come first. He must have been hit with some force to bruise him Sad

ledzepplintooasiseclectic · 02/10/2018 15:25

How old is your DS?

letsstickmyhandinthere · 02/10/2018 15:25

LTB I got some smacks as a kid but never left bruised

53rdWay · 02/10/2018 15:25

You need to hit pretty hard to leave a bruise. Were you there when this happened? What is your husband saying about his actions now?

ledzepplintooasiseclectic · 02/10/2018 15:26

One of my staff at work was arrested as his son arrived at school with a mark. It was taken very seriously and for your DS to have a bruise means there was a lot of force used.

Nesssie · 02/10/2018 15:27

What were the circumstances OP?

owabno · 02/10/2018 15:29

The bruise is irrelevant. Your husband hit your child. Protect your child.

Artofpretending · 02/10/2018 15:31

Did you witness the smack? What does your husband say about it all?

Littlechocola · 02/10/2018 15:31

Why does it matter that your son hasn’t noticed?
Will you only stand up for him if he notices?
Did it not happen if he doesn’t see it?

Stand up for your child op. Be a mum.

Kittykat93 · 02/10/2018 15:32

If it left a bruise he hit him fairly hard. Answer peoples questions op and they will be able to advise further!!

I would be asking him to leave. As his mother you have a duty to protect him from harm.

KatieMarieJ · 02/10/2018 15:33

I'm not playing devil's advocate but is there any chance there there might be something medical going on here? Is there a possibility that your husband really did just give your child a light tap but they've bruised because of some sort of underlying condition? Is the bruise hand or fist shaped or is it just a small bruise? Could it be that the bruise was there before your husband gave him a smack?

I do not advocate smacking at all, but I am very concerned that it is easy to think 2 + 2 = 5.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/10/2018 15:33

A grown man, the father, struck a child hard enough to cause a bruise. If the mother does nothing, she's all but condoning the violence. And is not protecting her child. Either leave or throw him out.

notapizzaeater · 02/10/2018 15:34

If your child mentioned this to a teacher / doctor etc they would report it to
SS.

Is he remorseful ? How is his temper normally ?

Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 15:35

How old is your son and what led up to the “slap”?
I’m not saying it’s ok but I once slapped DS’s leg. Putting shoes on him as a preschooler and he kicked me in the face with the foot I had managed to get on. Hurt and I smacked him. Wasn’t the best way to handle it and I felt awful. But it didn’t mean DH should’ve left me.

owabno · 02/10/2018 15:40

I'm not playing devil's advocate but is there any chance there there might be something medical going on here? Is there a possibility that your husband really did just give your child a light tap but they've bruised because of some sort of underlying condition? Is the bruise hand or fist shaped or is it just a small bruise? Could it be that the bruise was there before your husband gave him a smack?

It’s irrelevant. Well in terms of what happened. It is obviously very relevant if the child turns out to have a medical c9ndition. It doesn’t change the facts though. Small bruise. Large bruise. Light tap. Hard smack. Makes no difference. He hit the child. Unacceptable.

do not advocate smacking at all, but I am very concerned that it is easy to think 2 + 2 = 5.

Nope. 2+2 = 4 regardless of the bruise.

NewYoiker · 02/10/2018 15:40
Sad
madeoficecream · 02/10/2018 15:43

What caused him to do this? Im not saying that theres any excuse, its always wrong.... but my reaction would be different if it were out of shock and fear: so for something like his child trying to run out in front of a car or put his hands on the cooker or something. If he were very remorseful about it and it occured in that type of situation then id be more sympathetic.

If it was for some none life threatening thing or average 'naughty behaviour' then id suggest you ask him to leave or you leave until he has successfully completed anger management and/or parenting courses. Because to leave a mark like that is abusive.... he must have really whacked him!

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/10/2018 15:43

Wolfie I slapped dds leg yesterday for the same thing. I was putting her shoes on and she was trying to kick me in the face. Wasn't a hard slap and I felt terrible.

overagain · 02/10/2018 15:44

Age of the child is necessary here, though it is never acceptable to physically assault anyone.

Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 15:44

He actually did kick me. Hard. Right in the face. With shoes on.
I shouldn’t have smacked him. It wasn’t the best parenting decision I’ve ever made and I felt really awful.
It was a one off.

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