Husband slapped our son and he has a little bruise

[Abbie268]

Not sure what to do really I don't think my son has noticed the bruise as it's on the back of his leg but I still don't know what to do I have always said no violence

For those saying they slapped their DC did you slap them so hard that you left a bruise?

I don’t think age is necessary. Hitting a 2 year old and hitting a 15 year old are both unacceptable.

Age of the child is necessary here

Why?

No I didn’t bruise my child. But there IS a difference between tapping a toddler once and feeling awful/learning not to do it again and belting a teenager.

Yes, I feel like context is important. It doesn't make it right but it certainly makes a difference form someone panicking their child's life is in danger, versus just being an abusive ass.

How would smacking leave a bruise?
I mean, if you smack or slap it goes red.
bruises are usually done by knuckles, something hard, or a punch?
OP you say little bruise, how big are we talking.
Just wondered if bruise could have come from somewhere else.

Totally agree Wolfiean and most DP if they tap or slap their toddler feel truly dreadful and it’s very rare for any taps or slaps to leave a bruise

Bruise on the back of the leg?
How? What exactly happened? No mark before?

Wearing a ring? Had something in hand? Child moved and it was harder than intended?
Trying to be reasonable here and not have a knee jerk reaction.
I poked my dog in the eye yesterday. Complete accident.
But from OP this sounds deliberate.

Sorry for delay he is 9 and kept turning the TV off that his dad was watching because he isn't allowed on his gaming console so my husband got up and slapped his leg the next time he went to turn it off. I was in the living room and of course shouted what do you think you're doing and our son went off crying and I spoke to my husband but he said "well he needs to learn"

What exactly is he supposed to learn? His father breaks the law and hurts his child to watch TV.

Not good. Your son was clearly pushing the boundaries but violence won’t teach him to deal with his frustration. Is this out of character for either of them?

What are you going to do to protect your child op?

His father is supposed to be the adult here, so he's teaching his son that it's okay to lose your temper and be violent to vulnerable people. Not a lesson you want him to learn, I'm sure. Ask your husband if he would have done the same to a stranger in the pub, to someone the same size as him? I bet the answer will 'of course not'.

Disgusting. Stand up for your poor son and get rid of the abusive prick. What will he learn? That his dad doesn't love him and that you use violence when you don't get your own way. Both great lessons for a child.

do not advocate smacking at all, but I am very concerned that it is easy to think 2 + 2 = 5

All well and good, but it's the 2 that's relevant here, not the 5. An adult assaulted a child. Whether that assault is definitely the cause of the bruise is actually irrelevant.

What would you do if he hit you leaving a bruise OP? Amazes me that people accept violence against their children

She didn't even flinch when I done it. Me on the other hand was a crying mess and and looked confused as to why I was crying and trying to hug her.

I actually texted my DP and I said I deserve her taken off me.

Oh dear, your husband clearly thinks physical violence is the way to teach the child to behave, he will actually instil the idea that physical assault is the way to get other to do things for you; so wrong and against the law in Scotland btw.

Up to you but I'd not be accepting that at all, he didn't do anything to warrant that, absolutely nothing, what happens when he gets into his teens, I dread to think.

*she looked confused

your son was being a little shit. I dont agree with smacking as I dont think it works, but most people would have felt like slapping a child that acted like that. You need to have a proper talk with your husband about parenting techniques and keeping your cool when under pressure and goaded and your son needs to show some respect.

I might have felt like slapping him Bran but a thought is not the bloody same as an action; there are a zillion alternatives to being physical which is a far better lesson for the child than showing them violence.

owabno and 5secondsfromwilding - I'm sorry but I disagree. Smacking hasn't been outlawed. If OP's husband has bruised the child that is illegal. That is the clear and defining line that turns this from a moral issue into a legal one, however before one starts to say that something illegal has happened it is necessary to make sure that one is correct in their assumptions. There is obviously a very serious issue here if OP and her husband are at opposite ends of the spectrum regarding smacking their child(ren), but that doesn't mean that OP's husband has assaulted their child.

Had you shouted at your son for his very poor behaviour before the slap?

- I'm sorry but I disagree. Smacking hasn't been outlawed.

It's a cunt of a thing to do though. Disagree all you wish. There is no way I would allow anyone to hit my children.