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Original poster

My partner wants nothing to do with me, because.....

201 replies

BSmart · 17/09/2018 10:05

I slept with someone else when we'd broken up.

This is how it started.

My partner and I have just recently gotten back together. We were talking casually on the phone, then one conversation led to another and he said " I was going out with someone, 2 years ago, when we'd broken up, she had two kids, was working for the council and so forth. I was fucking her but I soon got bored and the relationship just fizzled out". A bit hurt, I replied " Oh, ok, did I really need to know that ?". Then, when we were talking about my family, he mentions, "...you know your youngest sister, she's the prettiest out of your whole family, she's pretty you know". I replied " Why do you like putting me down ? That hurts you know, I don't care about you calling her "pretty" but to say she's the prettiest out of my whole family is hurtful". Partner laughs it off and says " Your being petty, I'm with you aren't I ? I have no interest in your sister, she's too young". After that, I didn't say much.

Moving forward in the conversation, we were talking about his real motive of him wanting to get back with me. I felt , because his getting older and wants to settle down, he would just settle for DS and I. He replied "How can you say that? I want to get back with you etc". Then I replied "Your just saying that because your lonely"; then he said " Trust me, I can get any woman". Me, knowing what he was getting at, I told him " Sex is easy" and he said " Really ? How do you know?". Then I told him "....because when we broke up, I had sex with someone else". He replied "What ? You know what, I don't want to talk to you anymore". I said " How can you say that ? It's ok for you to tell me about your sexual encounters but I can't ? I have needs you know...you can expect me to be celibate when you disappeared for 7 months on end".

Now, my partner wants nothing to do with me and is refusing to answer my calls.

I know I was being petty. But is it bad that I had sex with someone else when we'd broken up ? It was a long time ago.

OP posts:
Musti · 17/09/2018 10:08

No it's not bad at all. He's an arsehole and I would have nothing to do with him again. He wants you to feel insecure.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 17/09/2018 10:09

Oh good Lord why in merry hell do you want to be with this twat badger?

Let him be gone ....hes an arse

sprinklesandsauce · 17/09/2018 10:09

No it is not bad, he did it , you did it. You were not together at the time.

Stop calling him , it sounds like you are far better off without him.

Merryoldgoat · 17/09/2018 10:10

Sorry, why do you want to be with him? He sounds like a twat. He puts you down, tells you stuff to hurt you purposely and can’t take what he dished out. Sounds like you’re well rid.

KarrisWhiteOak · 17/09/2018 10:10

Run like the wind!
What an knob.

SoyDora · 17/09/2018 10:10

Why do you want anything to do with him?

SlowlyShrinking · 17/09/2018 10:11

He sounds awful anyway. Why is he trying to put you down and make you feel insecure all the time?

m00rfarm · 17/09/2018 10:13

You split up and should stay that way. Read your post as though someone else had written it. He deliberately baits you and tries to wind you up (and you bite every time). But when it is in reverse, he cannot take it. Probably because he doesn't really want to be with you but has nothing else right now. This is warning and you would be best to heed it. You put up with a lot from him, and a relationship should not be about putting up with things that your partner throws at you!

Angelf1sh · 17/09/2018 10:14

Jesus love pull yourself together. He’s a shit. End it. He’s no good for you and no good in general. You’d be better off without someone who makes you feel bad about yourself (which he’s only doing so that you don’t think you could get anyone else). Block him and don’t bother answering the door if he comes round. He’s not your partner and not your friend.

And I can’t believe I even have to say this but of course you didn’t do anything wrong.

Seniorschoolmum · 17/09/2018 10:14

No it’s not bad at all. You were a free agent. You are equal and both entitled to live your lives as you wish.

Your oh on the other hand is a sexist discriminatory tosser living in the 1950s. He also has no respect for you.
Block his number and go and find someone lovely before he ruins your life. You’ll have much more fun. Smile

Original poster
BSmart · 17/09/2018 10:16

I don't understand. You don't think he wants to be with me ? He was crying and telling me that he really wants us to get back together.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 17/09/2018 10:18

Regardless of whether he wants to get back together or not, what people are asking is why do you want to be with him? He puts you down, tries to make you feel crap about yourself...

elessar · 17/09/2018 10:19

He sounds absolutely horrible and controlling. You're far better off without him.

He's got the hump because he was putting you down and wants you to feel lucky to have him, like you can't get anyone else. And now you've proved him wrong.

He sounds absolutely awful and you are well rid!

Original poster
BSmart · 17/09/2018 10:20

He puts you down, tries to make you feel crap about yourself.

But, is it bad to tell someone that "your sister is the prettiest out of your whole family?".

Other than that, I don't think he was trying to hurt me.

OP posts:
Givemeallyourcucumber · 17/09/2018 10:20

He sounds like a twat. That whole conversation was ridiculous and not how you speak to someone you love or want to spend your life with.

Even without him hanging up on you and not answering your calls I would say the realationship is tarnished.

Sounds like a teenager realationship.

SoyDora · 17/09/2018 10:22

Re read what you wrote in your OP. He’s telling you about people he has slept with to goad you (but refuses to answer your calls when you when you do the same). He’s telling you your sister is prettier than you. He isn’t saying these things to be kind, is he?

MrsMozart · 17/09/2018 10:22

He's an arsehole.

You're finding ways to defend the hurtful things he's said.

Get out while you still have some self respect lass.

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2018 10:22

This sounds like a conversation very young and immature people have. I'd block him and move on. Stick around on MN, one thing they're extremely good at is teaching women that they don't have to put up with this kind of shit just to have a man.

Angelf1sh · 17/09/2018 10:22

Of course it’s bad to tell your (alleged) girlfriend that her sister is prettier than her! Why are we having to tell you this?

Givemeallyourcucumber · 17/09/2018 10:23

But, is it bad to tell someone that "your sister is the prettiest out of your whole family?".

Only an idiot would say that. It's just a stupid thing to say and would only be said to hurt or spite someone.

SparklyMagpie · 17/09/2018 10:24

Fucking hell. And why are you wanting to be with him? He's disgusting to you

Doyoumind · 17/09/2018 10:24

Everything you have said about him makes him sound like a dick. He seems to be a misogynistic twat who doesn't give a shit about you or your feelings. You are better than this.

Original poster
BSmart · 17/09/2018 10:24

This sounds like a conversation very young and immature people have.

How ? Was it immature on my end ?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 10:25

Other than that, I don't think he was trying to hurt me

Eh? Can you really not see it? Yes hebwas trying to hurt you. Put you down and big himself up.

You can sleep with who you please when you're not together, and yes he's an arsehole.

Why would you wish to be with someone who tries to make you feel bad?

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 17/09/2018 10:25

Oh lovely he is hanging you by a string and pulling it when he wants to

He does want to be with you but as his emotional punching bag...those comments he made are designed to erode your self esteem

Comments on treating sexual partners cavalierly , comments on your sisters appearance and then qualifying by indicating the only reason he doesn't want her Is her age

You deserve someone who wants to be with you and thinks you are the moon

Please don't sell yourself short he absolutely doesn't deserve you

He successfully was a giant twat badger and managed to end the call making you feel like you were in the wrong

Look up gaslighting and let him go