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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do you ever get over heartbreak

214 replies

ineedhelpa · 27/08/2018 14:34

I'm a mess, I'm in pieces. Can't cope. Not sleeping eating. Crying constantly. It's been a few months and not getting any easier.
I am always checking his social media, re-reading messages. He is lovely and nothing happened it he just ended it, no arguments or anything but I am struggling to come to terms. Will it ever get any easier, will I ever 'get over it'

OP posts:
Stripeyzigzag · 02/11/2018 16:32

Up and down here
Had minimal contact at drop off which is a step forward
Mutual friends have invited him not me out this weekend and he is also spending time with OW/NW (new)
Painful. Grief.

Orange6904 · 03/11/2018 09:23

Ugh @bibidy, that happened to me. Out the blue, so horrible. Has he mentioned anyone else involved?

Villanelle123 · 03/11/2018 09:25

Yes you do. I promise.

I sit here thinking I can’t believe the way I went on when a certsin ex ended it and he really wasn’t worth it. Of course at the time it felt like he was though.

marads · 03/11/2018 09:57

This reply has been deleted

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bibbidybobbidyboo · 04/11/2018 00:21

@Sausage101 thanks Flowers No he hasn't - I think it's more of a depression/anxious breakdown than an OW situation (although if MN has taught me anything it's that you can never rule it out!)

He's always been very career focused with a big 10 year plan that involved working abroad, and it seems that starting this course has been much harder than he thought it would be and has sent him spiralling. He thinks he needs to focus on it and nothing else - it's like he's in survival mode. He has justified it by saying that it would have always been really difficult foe us to work around his plans to move abroad. Never mind that I was really keen on the idea & have already lived abroad for a couple of years myself.

It's horrible for me. I thought we were building a future together and now it feels like I was the only one who really believed it would work. Sad

Orange6904 · 04/11/2018 00:27

It's horrible, that's how I feel now. Like I was the one building the future too. You just start to question it all don't you?

bibbidybobbidyboo · 04/11/2018 00:29

@Sausage101 yep, I have to keep reminding myself that we were happy and that I'm not going crazy imagining things that weren't there.

Orange6904 · 04/11/2018 00:36

Yeah that's how I've felt, it's horrible. I've just had to stop thinking about it now and think of myself but it really hurts to have the rug pulled from under you like that.

WhatWillAPearDoAtNight · 26/02/2024 18:39

I know this is a zombie thread but I'm on day two and in the absolute trenches of the most painful heartbreak.
This thread and all the wonderful supportive advice has really helped me.

I wonder if OP or anyone else from the thread is around. you could tell me how you are now? All these years later?

WhatWillAPearDoAtNight · 26/02/2024 18:54

*and if you could

unbelievablescenes · 26/02/2024 19:27

I'm 7 months down the line and can assure you it will get better. It'll be ups and downs, but you'll get through. Shut him down, try and focus on you, not him. Keep your strength up as best you can and do something that makes you smile every day. Fake it til you make it...You can do this 🙌🏼

WhatWillAPearDoAtNight · 27/02/2024 13:33

unbelievablescenes · 26/02/2024 19:27

I'm 7 months down the line and can assure you it will get better. It'll be ups and downs, but you'll get through. Shut him down, try and focus on you, not him. Keep your strength up as best you can and do something that makes you smile every day. Fake it til you make it...You can do this 🙌🏼

Thank you

OrlandointheWilderness · 27/02/2024 23:52

@WhatWillAPearDoAtNight I remember splitting from my XH. He was my first love, I was absolutely in love with him. We'd only been married ten months. He cheated on me then broke up with me before I found out - I had a friend who told me. I can remember in detail the searing, white blindness of agony. I thought I would die from the pain. That was 19 years ago. It did take a long time to trust, and I will never get back the naïvety and innocent faith, but it does pass little by little. Now I can barely remember his face, although I doubt I will ever forget the pain.
I have a very good life with a wonderful, wonderful man and my DD. Time heals, have faith that you can live without him, as you did live before him.

WhatWillAPearDoAtNight · 28/02/2024 11:25

OrlandointheWilderness · 27/02/2024 23:52

@WhatWillAPearDoAtNight I remember splitting from my XH. He was my first love, I was absolutely in love with him. We'd only been married ten months. He cheated on me then broke up with me before I found out - I had a friend who told me. I can remember in detail the searing, white blindness of agony. I thought I would die from the pain. That was 19 years ago. It did take a long time to trust, and I will never get back the naïvety and innocent faith, but it does pass little by little. Now I can barely remember his face, although I doubt I will ever forget the pain.
I have a very good life with a wonderful, wonderful man and my DD. Time heals, have faith that you can live without him, as you did live before him.

Thank you for sharing your story. It's so hard to see it now but reading others experiences does remind me I will get through it.

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