Do you ever get over heartbreak

[ineedhelpa]

I'm a mess, I'm in pieces. Can't cope. Not sleeping eating. Crying constantly. It's been a few months and not getting any easier.
I am always checking his social media, re-reading messages. He is lovely and nothing happened it he just ended it, no arguments or anything but I am struggling to come to terms. Will it ever get any easier, will I ever 'get over it'

@lowtide I don’t know , I have issues. I went nearly two months without seeing him before last night. I don’t want to talk about it! I still think it’s mg fault, so I just stopped talking about it.
But, the important thing is, I know it was a mistake.

@Wadingthroughshit block his number and all of his social media. Have a friend delete his number from your phone. He sounds awful!

@Wadingthroughshit
2 months is great. And I imagine you feel shit for going back now? So get back on the horse and go NC again. Don’t beat yourself up and spiral out of control.

Over 2 years and I still miss her.i don't think I will ever get over her.

@AsleepAllDay and @lowtide yep, not feeling great today. But it’s my own fault. I didn’t do two months NC , I’ve only managed 4/5 days max, about three times, I just went without seeing him for that long.
The way I feel about it sometimes transcends heartbreak into almost feeling disturbed. But I know in time, it’ll pass. Just now, I need to work on myself, and channel the energy into my new career. Its not the most proactive approach, but I’m just waiting for the day I wake up and don’t want to do whatever means I need to to keep him in my life.

@BabySharkDoDoDoDoDo it can take years, doesn’t Mean it won’t happen, it will.

Wading. You’ve got to stop giving him access. Block him. PLEASE. It’s hard, but do you want to be old and have wasted your life on a sexually depraved predator. You’re the mouse and he’s the cat. He’s enjoying doing this to you. He probably chuckles to himself when you reply or contact him. Do not give him the power.

@lowtide I bloody hope not.

The power is all yours

@Wadingthroughshit blocking his details and number is the first step. It will feel like closing a door but one that you need. Holding on to him means that even if real love with someone else was banging on the door, you wouldn't know it. Release yourself of this man

ineedhelp OP only way forward is to go completely NC - no following him on social media etc!! It gets better, honest sweetie.

wading stop hijacking threads.

If anyone has any further positive stories of life after heartbreak - I'm really feeling the pain of this as my first big breakup

Feeling like a model of self restraint by not opening up his Instagram and Twitter!

Well done for not opening up instagram and other social media! Some of these posts are so helpful. I am trying to live in the moment. Not think about lovely times we had and not think about the future we have lost. :(. Easy in theory ....
I am so up and Down though.

@MrsCatE I think you might be misinformed, this is the first thread I’ve commented on in four months...barely constitutes a hijacking

@AsleepAllDay have you tried what a previous poster suggested and write a list of things you want to achieve, even if it s simple like finishing a box set, or yoga At home in the evening? Also there’s comfort in knowing you’re not alone with how you feel....alot of us have driven around listening to music while crying !

Most people have been through it!

Be kind to yourself but try not to wallow for too long.
Keep busy - join a classes etc. - make sure you have stuff to do in your diary.
One day I woke up and thought 'I'm fed up with feeling miserable' - and that was my starting point to move on.

Yes! I have lots to look forward to - starting yoga again, going to therapy, making new friends, volunteering, NOT going out for dinner every night and having cats around (he was allergic)

The temptation to wallow is immense though, I've spent too much time under my covers!

Hi I haven't rtft but I echo the cold turkey. A v many years ago my dp ended things but we "stayed friends" it was just like scratching off the scab to bare flesh every single week. I thought that was what I wanted.

He went to the US for a bit and his phone didn't work (it's a long time ago now) and it was the absolute making of me.

If only I had known I would literally have remortgaged my house and paid for his flights months before.

I got me back.

Life has never quite been the same but I have a lovely different life now with a very relaxed home, a gorgeous ds (nothing to do with that ex) and some lovely friends.

Much harder now I guess with t'internet and social media it but you owe it to yourself to just do it. Block him from every channel.

@ArriettyCArriettyC I hope you've been able to stay away from texting/his texts. He sounds so manipulative - he will know you're heartbroken but isn't letting you get closure & if he wanted to, you could be together!

Rereading this thread and I have only been NC a week and it feels like forever. Feels like I have gone through so much in that time and my feelings keep tumbling from sadness/anger/loss/missing him/just straight up pain

I am trying to see this time as 'medicine' - it's yucky and doesn't go down well but will make me stronger and better in time.

I definitely used the relationship to hide from myself/life/things I needed to focus on, it was like a refuge from problems to be with him and be deliciously lazy and bury my issues in the sand.

Given that it's my first real heartbreak I don't have the toughness built up from multiple breakups but I am so encouraged by everyone here

I have to go back to the house today and tomorrow to try and finally move all my stuff out. Help me be strong today and not break down and cry the moment I walk in :(

@ArriettyCArriettyC even if you cry, it's natural! This is a huge change x

Arrietty if you cry, you cry. You are emotional and hurting. Let it out.

Broke up with my ex a few months ago. He lived with me and left a load of toiletries and clothes he couldn't be bothered binning himsf. I got a bin bag, chucked it all in and dumped immediately.

Chapter closed. I've been through enough breakups to know it gets better and if someone isn't absolutely mad about you, they are not worth you.

Best wishes to all that are suffering at the moment. If you are 6 months post breakup and feel like you haven't moved on at all, it may be worth looking up complicated grief. There is a particular therapy that can help with this.

Bumping

Hi,
Just want to update everyone. It has been a week now with no contact I am still finding it tough but I am really proud of myself. Feeling a lot better but still have the odd cry here and there, some days are better than others.
Thanks to everyone who replied to this thread, I still re-read them when I feel upset. Hugs to everyone going through similar x

Oh you're doing so well. I am still in contact with my ex because he has indicated he may want to try again, but he needs time and space. It leave me in limbo which is so hard. I am at least eating now, so that is progress!