Husband called me this:

[parkinpig]

Context: I brought in slightly damp washing and then didn't prostrate myself with sorrow when he wanted it rewashing now.

He threw washing basket across room and called me a "Lazy Fat Cunt".

Now he might have w point about washing, but I can't get over the language.

Feeling a bit WTF, to be honest.

Just wanted to get it down.

I know I have to face him sometime.

I think he's an abusive bully. I might tell him that for a start.

parkinpig - how safe do you feel around him? Because some people can become physically abusive when they have never been before - especially if they think that their partner is leaving.

It might be safer to say nothing, and get quietly on with your plans. But only you know - I am most likely projecting.

"I know I have to face him sometime"
You really don't, you know. Do you have enough money to get to your parents' place and then work out what you can do from there?

It doesn't sound as though you could have any kind of meaningful discussion with this bastard, so why bother?

Think of yourself for once, get yourself away from him and I am pretty sure that your life will start looking a lot better almost immediately!

Please don't hang around thinking that you can resolve things with him - he has told you, and shown you, what he really thinks of you - why would you put up with that any longer?

Good luck with making a sharp exit!

Zorba, unfortunately parents are dead and no siblings. If I do this, I need to fend for myself x

Link to new style contribution base jsa:

www.dwpe-services.direct.gov.uk/portal/page/portal/jsaol/lp

Get the stuff you need and value out of the house before he changes the locks.

You're absolutely doing the right thing. It'll be hard but nothing can be worse then what you're leaving behind, it won't be long before this is just something you can look back and not to need to bother yourself with. I would be careful with how you approach him, controlling men can turn violent when they realise they no longer have you cornered.

No advice to add but

stay strong and positive and know this relationship does not define who you are. Things can change. I hope you can leave him very soon, that’s not love. He is abusive and there is no excuse for that.

Hi, I never post on here but felt compelled to, maybe because a) I'm a Manchester girl (and we're bloody lovely up here) or b) I'm waiting to fly home with a very long delayed flight and Mumsnet is keeping me sane but probably mostly c) because I've seen your post change and strength appear in your 'voice'. You can so do this, how liberating to literally stick a pin in a map and go and grab the life you deserve.
Only a halfhearted search for senior PA in Greater Manchester has thrown up this on Indeed and there's loads of recruitment agencies in Manchester, bet there's even some that specialise in your line of work. Very best of luck to you xx
www.indeed.co.uk/m/jobs?sameL=1&q=Senior+personal+assistant+&l=Manchester%2C+Greater+Manchester&from=searchOnSerp

Hello lbake
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I hope your plane turns up soon! I've never met a Manc I don't like. Be careful or you'll end up doing shots with me in Spinningfields. Is that the bar place?

Anyway, thanks to you and everyone below for hand holding x

He needs to know that behaviour is totally out of order. There is no way I would put up with that. He is lucky you even do his laundry

I'll meet you for shots in The Alchemist in Spinningfields, you can do this op !

Far, far too many places to do shots in Manchester! Even with your scribbled out face you look a lot younger than me but, if I have to, I'll put my big girl pants on and knock a few back in the spirit of female empowerment!
I thought there were some great suggestions upthread. Especially the one re contacting Andy Burnham's office. Even though we don't always share the same politics I think he's a good guy and is working really hard for Manchester. The hostel idea also good as a temp solution and would allow you to 'try before you buy'. Location wise, north and East are cheaper than south and west. I'd also look for any jobs and accommodation that could be accessed by the Metrolink. It's a fab service and really makes a difference to anyone who lives by it (sadly I don't). If you want to know more about areas, feel free to PM me x

Sorry op, he Seems to be a horrible person.

You sound like you are qualified so don’t worry about finding a new job, just focus now on yourself and not letting your pig of a husband grind you down.

Hope you are having a better day today

I'd have threw him across the fucking room!
And said "you lazy fat homeless cunt"
And then big bag him!....
Pfffffttt! Really annoys me!
Do your own fucking washing!!! How dare he!

*bin bag...

Echo majority advice here and well done OP! Perhaps send cvs out to Manchester agencies that specialise with SC cleared jobs? You have a real advantage - think outside the box (bleurgghhh) but Manchester Airport has loads of ops that require clearance. X

Well done OP you sound ace and your husband will regret his shit behaviour. Another Manchester lass here saying to contact all the agencies on Monday. You can find a shared house easily - my friend did this last year. Got fed up of London and made the decision to move here on Monday. By Saturday she was on the train. I'm Also up for shots in Spinningfields here too.

Emotional abuse and financial control are illegal and you will be supported.
Stay strong and love yourself!

Evening Lovelies.

I'm just getting my ducks in a row.

Meantime, the charmer has just posted the following on his public Facebook:

HUSBANDS: Cheer yourself up by watching your wedding video in reverse. You'll give her back the ring, walk back down the aisle, get in the car and fuck off without her.

Dear god he is unpleasant isn't he? parkinpig stay strong and remember he is the issue not you, you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen

I'm new on these boards and only recently realised what LTB means and I said to myself I'd use it only when absolutely deserved and unfortunately, he gets my first ever LTB.

Did he really put that an Facebook??

God he’s grim.

I've taken a screenshot: