Husband called me this:

[parkinpig]

Context: I brought in slightly damp washing and then didn't prostrate myself with sorrow when he wanted it rewashing now.

He threw washing basket across room and called me a "Lazy Fat Cunt".

Now he might have w point about washing, but I can't get over the language.

Feeling a bit WTF, to be honest.

Just wanted to get it down.

His behaviour is definitely emotionally abusive and as it's been going on for some time it's unlikely he will change for the better. Unfortunately all too often this kind of behaviour escalates.

I understand that you feel trapped by your financial situation and have no family nearby. Do you have any friends nearby or family further afield you could stay with? I know I'd be glad to have any of my family or friends stay to help them to get away from a situation like yours. You could then take the time to get legal advice.

Good luck with everything and remember you deserve better than this.

When you say put a charge on it you mean he is mortgaged to them?

If you are married and in the UK, it's half your house as well!

Or is it like a lien? Some skullduggery that means the house is his in reality but you don't have any rights even though you're married to him? I can see how that might be wangled, that it's in his name but suddenly if it had to be sold if you split up the lien would be more than the house is worth so you'd get nothing.

You need to see a solicitor.

He's an utter moron. Not man enough to control his own emotions.

To utter those words at anybody, male or female is utterly crass and abusive.
To do so with someone he's married to or partnered with is truly horrific.

You don't utter those words 'by accident'. You don't say them out of frustration. You might swear, you might say 'for fuck's sake' (which is bad enough), but to say THOSE words? no.

Nobody deserves that. Nobody. Something inside him believes that of you. Unacceptable.

call 101 and report the incident. You will be given a number.

Then on Tuesday call CAB and ask for advice regarding the divorce.

He's being abusive.

Keep us updated and if he attempts any more abusive behaviour then post it on here.

Do not touch the washing or cook anything for him.

Order in a pizza for yourself if you have the funds.

Ah, sorry hadn't seen your last update OP. Depends what the charge says re the house. I hope you are safe and fwiw, I'd be inclined to leave the bastard to do his own washing and have a weekend elsewhere if you can

Something of an over reaction there Salem.

No one deserves to be verbally abused and have things thrown at them by their spouse.

I just said "If you ever speak to me like that again, I'll walk out"

He said "Good. Do it. Enjoy the gutter, fat bitch".

Salem, I'm very sorry about how I worded that. Please accept my apology.

His behaviour was horrible, but it seems you're a horrible and nasty person yourself, so maybe you deserved it

Uncalled for, Salem. Ridiculous, and you are totally missing the point of the thread. OP is clearly in need of support and help, not shooting down. It might have been clumsily put, but it is hardly the main issue here.

OP, his behaviour was apalling, and if I were you I wouldn't even bother trying to find reasons for it. Take some of the very good advice you have already had on this thread and get an exit plan together.

nothing to do with being an only child...hes a gummer. debt can follow you,dont hang around in a place you dont want to be.even in the shittiest times of poor finances you deserve to live freely-not hide upstairs yknow. fuck him.love yourself and leave./lock him out.you get one life.live it.

Just shut up Salem. OP do you have any support?

He said "Good. Do it. Enjoy the gutter, fat bitch"

He gets worse. So take him at his word there then. Call Women's Aid now for proper advice and start making plans.

And I don't see as you had any need to apologise to anyone on here.

I've never been verbally insulted by a partner like that - I've not even been called a bitch by any ex including my XH, not during the worst of our rows or at our worst times in the lead up to divorcing. It's appalling that he's coming out with horrible abuse at all - let alone for something so trivial. What an utter utter cunt he is.

You deserve better than that. Please find a way to get out of this relationship, there are so many blokes out there who really don't routinely - or ever - come out with such hateful hurtful language.

Salem I have reported your complete over-reaction and personal attack. OP ignore, obviously hit a nerve. You do not deserve this OP. Contact Womens Aid. It's much harder to leave when you have children.

Salem even if her point was that only children were more likely to be selfish and abusive pigs (which it really wasn't), you're kind of proving that point with your unkind and unnecessary post.

So he has spoken to you again ' like that_. You need to keep your promise and leave.

You have no job and no children, just debt.
That is actually a positive. You can't be emotionally abused by debt and you can make arrangements to pay it off, and you have no one else to worry about other than yourself.
You can go to Womens Aid and get support to leave.
He is abusing you both emotionally and financially which is illegal.
Put a plan in place to call them when he is not around - there is a way forward.

Honestly, get legal advice. This is so over, you need to get out.

Yes, it's over. I can't live like this.

I can't leave

Do you want to leave but feel you can't, or do you want to stay with him? Whichever, there's nothing to stop you doing some research into what help is out there for you should you decide to leave though eh?

Sorry, cross post, I see you want to leave. In that case I reiterate, do some research into what your options are. Break down the large daunting idea of leaving into small manageable pieces maybe?

Women's aid don't need any proof of abuse by the way. I was put off for ages as I hadn't called the police/ever reported him. The very least they can do is advise you, they were absolute heroes for me.