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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What he said in bed

180 replies

Watda · 18/08/2018 08:28

I posted in the sex topic last night but didn’t get any replies and I really need some independent perspectives on my situation.

My boyfriend and I were in bed last night and he had been expecting to have some back door action. I wasn’t up for that and he kept joking I had promised him it and that I couldn’t renege on my promise.

Anyway, we were having normal sex with me on top. I asked him if it was working for him and he replied that it was ‘ok’.

Now I’m not expecting him to see stars but if someone is taking the time to make herself vulnerable to you I think it’s pretty shitty to say that what is happening is ‘ok’. If you want to improve things then we can talk about that outside the bedroom or you can make some of your own suggestions to make it better for you. I just felt so deflated I climbed off.

He doesn’t understand why I’m upset and says it must be because it’s my ‘time of th month’.

Was he being a dick or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
fluffygreenmonsterhoody · 18/08/2018 08:30

He was being a dick.

As an aside, be careful asking questions where there’s a chance you won’t like the answer.

AnyFucker · 18/08/2018 08:31

And they say romance is dead....

Radardetector · 18/08/2018 08:34

Sounds like he said it so you'd offer anal.

You said you didn't want to do anal and he still tried to push you and manipulate you into it. Sounds like a entitled twatt. I'd watch his behaviour.

bettybyebye · 18/08/2018 08:35

He’s a dick. HTH

winterdeballesteros · 18/08/2018 08:37

What a prick.

Ifailed · 18/08/2018 08:38

The answer is so obvious (LTB) I wonder about the veracity of your post.

catlady3 · 18/08/2018 08:38

Yup, he's a dick. Also a douche bag. Worth thinking about whether he's worth your time, imo. That type of behaviour is a major warning sign.

MarthasGinYard · 18/08/2018 08:39

'Was he being a dick or do I need to get a grip?'

I'd tell him He needs to get a grip, and a good one at that as I wouldn't be entertaining sleeping with that again.

DollyDayScream · 18/08/2018 08:40

I think that you should find yourself a boyfriend who does see stars when he's with you and doesn't try to erode your self esteem so that you are easy to manipulate into fulfilling his sexual desires.

Helmetbymidnight · 18/08/2018 08:40

He’s a horrible guy.

Flowers
NoProbLlama78 · 18/08/2018 08:43

he sounds awful. maybe suggest pegging and dump him if he's not keen.

flumpybear · 18/08/2018 08:47

He's being brattish - tell him you want to peg him and see how he feels about that Hmm

Girlslikeme · 18/08/2018 08:47

Dickhead I would say

flumpybear · 18/08/2018 08:48

Lol X post @NoProbLlama78

Ooforfoxsakeridesagain · 18/08/2018 08:49

Another vote for dickhead. Sorry.

MrsMozart · 18/08/2018 08:50

He's an arse.

He needs to learn that no means no and no amount of petulance will change the answer.

Gncq · 18/08/2018 08:50

He was sulking because he didn't get anal sex from you.
What a catch.

NoProbLlama78 · 18/08/2018 08:53

High five Flumpy!
Grin

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 18/08/2018 08:53

Exactly what Radar said, he was definitely attempting to get anal & yes he's a dick.
Perhaps have a dildo to hand so next time he's pushing his luck & you don't fancy it you can find out just how much he really likes anal Hmm

abbsisspartacus · 18/08/2018 08:56

Does he realise how bad anal sex is for you? Unless he is prepared to spend your later years with you and your incontinence I suggest he looks upon it as a very rare treat

Rosemary46 · 18/08/2018 08:57

Just to state the obvious - you don’t have to do ANYTHING in bed that you don’t want to. Even if you did “ promise “ ( not saying you did ).

Shoxfordian · 18/08/2018 08:57

Your boyfriend is a knob
Ltb

MattBerrysHair · 18/08/2018 08:57

You're not overreacting. My dp has many faults but he would never disrespect me in that way. I suggest you don't give him the opportunity to sleep with you again, he clearly doesn't appreciate it.

scrumplepaper · 18/08/2018 08:58

Tell him he can go first and get a big strapon. Bet he won't be so keen then.

OliviaStabler · 18/08/2018 08:59

What a lovely bloke Hmm Trying to emotionally blackmail you into doing something you don't want to do just to satisfy his wants.