15 years, 2 kids, she doesn't want me. What do I do now?

[OMGtwins]

As the title, together with my DW 15 years, civil partnership nearly 8, 2 kids in primary school, own house, only I work.

Tonight she told me she loves me as a best friend not a wife, there's no one else, it's been coming for years. She doesn't want to hurt me, but thinks she wants to be with a man.

Broken. Head spinning, can't sleep. Staying here in spare room tonight until tmrw morning to not upset kids.

What do I do now?

Namechange fail, but fuck it.

Anyone?

So sorry to hear this my love. I have been there and it is horrible. Take one day at a time, try not to think too far ahead at the moment. Focus on getting through tonight and tomorrow. Will she talk More with you about her feelings? Would she consider counselling?

I'm so sorry. I have nothing useful to say. You must be devastated :(

Thank you for replying. We'll talk more tmrw and she will get counselling but I'm not sure it'll change anything. I so desperately want to crawl back into bed with her and have this all go away.

My kids are now from a broken home. I'll be a part time parent, we'll have to run 2 houses. Don't even know where to start.

My husband told me he did not want to be married to me anymore after 20 years. I do get some of how you are feeling.

I think if I let myself it'd be full on ugly crying, but I daren't cos I might not stop and I'd wake the kids

Didn’t want you to go without any response over night. What is there to say that can help with the hurt of such a long partnership coming to an end. I hope you have other adult family near you.

There isn't anything to say. It's horrible. One of my worst nightmares.

My brother and SIL are within ten miles and are lovely. Just a bit late to disturb them (plus I think they're on a long weekend away).

She loves you as a best friend. Which is completely heart-breaking as a partner. But it does mean that your children don't come from a broken home. They come from a loving, committed home that just isn't two parents in a sexual relationship any more. You can work out how to parent really well together, you won't be 'part-time'.

I think really good counselling on how to navigate this as two parents who do love each other and the children could be a good idea.

Yes my husband said the same to me 2 years ago. I was devastated and couldn’t see a way out. 2 years on I’m very happy with a new partner and he and I are relatively amicable, my son has adjusted really well to the 2 houses thing and I’m in a better place. If you’d have told me this when I was in your position I wouldn’t have believed you.
I’m not saying this to try and make you feel better now, as I know you won’t be able to think of any other possibility right now. I just wanted to let you know you will feel better, some day.
It’s good that you can have counselling though, perhaps all is not lost? Thinking of you

Have messaged a friend IRL, she's keeping her phone on overnight in case I need her.

Ty Cat, I guess I'll see what tmrw brings. Will definitely go see the work counsellor, I'll need them!

MrsT yes, that sounds like a good idea, Ty for being reassuring, I need that. (and to you Cat)

Didn't want to read and run, I don't have anything to say other than I've been where you are and don't be tempted to make any hasty decisions. Emotions are running high and it's not the time to agree to anything.

I second what a pp said about your children coming from a loving home.

She's been struggling with her mental health for a while, this might be a factor, keeping this to herself.

Ty seafour. I'm devastated and trying to fight against lashing out.

The real shock is how quickly it's over. 15 years, gone. The life I thought I'd have, gone. Time with the kids, gone. Our house, gone (or at least I will be from it).

Might try to sleep now, so if I dont reply that's the reason.

Was where you are now about 10 months ago (except, it turned out, he had OW).

It's awful. Sometimes, there is no point in telling you to find some kind of bright side - it's just shit. Horrible, overwhelming, cascading shit.

You are not alone. I can tell you it gets better, but you're not in a place to hear that right now. Just honestly, you are not alone

Try to get some sleep. You're still totally shocked. There's always someone here to chat to when you need it.

I was in your position a year ago, it's not easy but you will get through this take it one day at a time x

So sorry, no advice but a big virtual hug. XXXXXXXX

Ty, still struggling to sleep. She's snoring next door. Why should she get to sleep when she's chosen this and caused the hurt. She's made this decision yet I'm the one who'll have to move, have to miss alk the little things with the kids, etc