Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

I think the husband's employers would quite rightly not be impressed if the OP had any access to the laptop.

Agree with PP who have said trust your gut, there aren't many plausible explanations for having nude photo's of yourself unless you are sending it to someone. That someone clearly was not supposed to be you.

He is the one throwing your marriage down the toilet, not you. Don't allow him to gaslight you with mealy mouthed bullshit.

it's easy to tag on extra photos if you've got fat fingers.

True. But on my phone photos are either in albums, if I have saved them there. Otherwise they are just in chronological order of when I have taken them. So why would a naked bath photo be in an album of purchase photos? It wouldn't - so logically it's a chronological photo. In which case why has he taken it if he's not intending to send it somewhere?

Accidentally sending it, not taking it.

Not to worry, this guy is already hung, drawn and quarterted.

I'd ltb for taking selfies in the bath regardless, what a tit.

I hear ya @fuckpants

I just took it as a “deep” clean as opposed to browsing history alone IYSWIM?

(Love the name btw)

So why would a naked bath photo be in an album of purchase photos

He's in the bath, of course he's going to be naked.

I've got hundreds of photos on my phone that haven't been sent to anyone.

I've skimmed this thread so might have missed it, but have you asked who he was intending to send the picture to?

I'm sorry but a naked photo taken in the bath top screams to me Direct messaging on Instagram, or..given he's so super stealthy a Snapchat for someone.

I can see no logical reason to take photo's of yourself in the bath, than to send to someone.

While I hope it's not the case for you, that's where my mind goes.

Two things:

If he has previous he has no business getting defensive.

If you don't send pictures like this to each other his reason for taking it in the first place is your business. See previous point.

I wouldn't leave it at that, no sir-ee.

Is it a selfie, or do the angles mean someone else actually took the photo ?

If he was the type to take silly pics/selfies regularly then the photo could be excused-I had an ExP who loved to do that kinda stuff.
If he isn't-then I guess the photo was meant to be sent to someone else...
However I do think you need more proof of wrongdoing this time, keep your eyes and ears open.
I think if this marriage means anything to him and he is innocent he will want to prove it to you and will understand why you need the proof after last time so ask for it-ask to see his phone-records etc....
Like others say his responses will be your answer.

It’s easy enough to text the wrong person or to add in an extra photo when selecting a few.

However his response was about the inappropriateness of a bath selfie - I.e. it was meant for someone else but it’s ok because it doesn’t show his dick. If he was innocent he would have said “of course it was meant for you, who else would I send a bath selfie to?” Or “oops - took that last night, not sure how it ended up in with the kitchen pics” (which would still beg the question why take it, but at least shows some honesty). His reply is the worst, most knee jerk, defensive answer he could have given.

Be thankful he’s so crap at lying and start to disentangle from this sleaze.

I've taken selfies in the bath to gauge how rough I'm looking on that particular day.

I must be weird.

Or “oops - took that last night, not sure how it ended up in with the kitchen pics” (which would still beg the question why take it, but at least shows some honesty)

Good point, be interesting to know what he said exactly.

There's bugger all to get your teeth into here....so can't comment.

Agree with Pps that it's not the taking of the photo that's the issue here, it's his defensive reaction to your comment on it when he has form and knows that you would worry about it. If it's nothing, he will have no trouble in putting your mind at rest when you talk to him about it. His reaction if you choose to speak to him about it later will tell you everything you need to know.

I think if there has been previous cheating, it can be really good to have a policy of openness, whereby both parties have full access to one another's phones and social media accounts.

I think if there has been previous cheating, it can be really good to have a policy of openness, whereby both parties have full access to one another's phones and social media accounts.

I think so too, but I think everyone should be aware that if someone is using a messaging App that the other is not aware of - Kik for example - it is possible to hide that on your phone. I know for a fact you can make that not appear in your list of Apps; don't ask me how, but I've seen it done.

So you could have an "open phone" policy, but if you don't know what you're looking for and you don't know all the sneaky ways in which people can hide things, you won't find anything anyway. Even if there is stuff to hide.

That's true rat - it's not a be-and-end-all solution. People can be really sneaky! It might be a start, though!

Do you mean it’s a naked selfie of him in the bath?

Absolutely pig, it shows good intent I think. Either way there certainly isn't any scope for defensiveness or preciousness about privacy after someone's strayed - that doesn't indicate good intent at all!

You've been very vague. 'A picture in the bath', of his head? His bubble bath knees? His chest? Almost full frontal? Have you asked him who he sent it to and why? If it's just a head shot then although a bit odd, it's not sexual. More than that then you're justified.

I agree completely - you cheat (emotionally or physically), you forfeit privacy for however long it takes to re-establish trust.

Come on, this is fucking shady. To me it sounds like 2 options:

1. He sent the kitchen pics and accidentally added the bath pic.
2. He sent the kitchen pics and was simultaneously trying to send bath pic to someone else and cocked up.

Either way, why was there a pic of him in the bath on his phone? I can only speak for myself and DH but we would only take pics like that to send to each other. Even if it's just his leg in the bath and he wants to say "relaxing in the bath", WHO DOES HE WANT TO SAY THAT TO? It is a strange level of intimacy. It's not the same as a mirror selfie or any naked/topless stuff which could potentially be about comparing his body now/then/future. A bath pic is a purely odd thing to send a pic of. His reaction shows this.