Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

Well was je defensive because it was a dodgy picture or because it was an innocent picture but you immediately started questioning who it was for an why and who they are

Xpost

Who in earth has a cleaning software on home computer?

A photo of him in the bath??

That is odd. My spidey senses would be tingling over that too. Trouble is he knows you've noticed now. How did he send you the photo, was it on WhatsApp?

Go with your gut then

Vivakondo- yes I think that’s what made me uncomfortable

Your opening gambit is “this is sexual or inappropriate in any way”

His laptop is set up to be wiped after every time he uses it? Forget the photo, that’s suspicious as fuck!

With your added detail tho, it does sound iffy OP. I can’t think of a good reason he’d be taking pics of himself in the bath unless you two ahve a habit of sending stuff like that to each other, which it sounds like you don’t.

In the bath? Sounds suspicious...unless he can give you a good reason for taking it?

Yeah I'd put money on the bath pic not being meant for you!

No was via text

Lots of photos of kitchens then the other one.

I'm not clear - was this a naked pic of your DH in the bath?

No candle we do not send each other photos like that- hence it standing out obviously

He’s said he got viruses from the internet so then installed the software.

why does he wipe his computer everytime he uses it-that woud be my question to him

MiddleMoffat- do you bathe with clothes on?

Yes it was him.

I'm lost. He sent a pic of him in thr bath?

if you get viruses you just run an anti virus program u dont wipe your whole laptop

Yes this is suspicious, to me that would be him paving the way with someone to send more explicit photos as time goes on. The fact he defensively leapt to “it wasn’t sexual” is a guilty reaction in my opinion.

Who would he be sending a photo of him in the bath to? His mum? His friends? I think not. It may not be sexual but it’s intimate and, if you 100% know it wasn’t meant for you, then I don’t see any other explanation than he was sending it to another woman.

Cross posted,

Ok that's weird. And yeah I assume for someone else.

Who the fuck wants to see him in the bath?

A picture of him in the bath? Sounds very iffy. It's a very odd picture to send - there would have to be some particular reason for sending it. If there was some innocent explanation instead of being defensive he'd surely come out with it straight away. "lol me and dave just have this stupid joke going on where we send stupid pics of each other" or whatever.

Go with your gut instinct.

I often send messages to the wrong person whilst texting several people at once so I would guess this is what happened here , seems odd to send a sexual photo after previous photos being of the kitchen?

He's at it again almost certainly. You can drive yourself mad trying to get proof. Or you can ltb.

There aren't any easy options unfortunately.

It could be innocent if he's sent lots of photos in one block. Some people take selfies like this purely so they can admire their own awesomeness with no intention of ever sharing. Could this be the case and it's just by accident he's sent it to you?

That said, the secrecy around the computer and locked phone doesn't look good.

My laptop has cleaning software and it's for an entirely legitimate purpose, my OH also can't access my computer or phone, again, for an entirely legitimate purpose. So if you know there is a reason for this you will have to probably discount it from your suspicions.

The photo of him in a bath is a little weirder, but to be honest I have seen some weird photos on my OH's phone when he thought he had a rash and had taken photos to look at more closely....so whilst it may be odd, if you didn't have some other suspicion I don't think it would be all that odd.

I think you should forget about the photo in and of itself and look at how you feel generally about the relationship, if there is nothing else triggering you to feel like something is amiss it may be nothing. Equally he should be willing to have an honest conversation with you in light of his past indiscretion.

Just come at it with an open mind, and beware of people (here or in real life) escalating things in your mind.

God's sake, why do men think women want to see pictures of them squished into a bath tub leering into the camera? Yuk.

Yes I think that picture was for someone else. What else would it be for? Hardly a passport photo.
You don't have to have evidence of cheating if you want to leave the relationship though. I'm sorry he's treating you like this.