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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

1000 replies

CoatsProtectionLeague · 24/05/2018 09:19

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

OP posts:
RunMummyRun68 · 24/05/2018 09:20

Where do you go from here? With your gut feeling

Watch and wait I think

Ohyesiam · 24/05/2018 09:21

What was the picture?

Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 24/05/2018 09:21

What was the photo of?

Picklepickle123 · 24/05/2018 09:22

I know it sounds nosy, but without knowing what the picture was it's hard to figure out whether he's hiding something out whether you're reading too much into it.

SeaCabbage · 24/05/2018 09:23

I think it is very hard for anyone to comment without you telling us what the photo was of Confused.

Frosty66612 · 24/05/2018 09:23

Gut instructs are rarely wrong.
If it were me i’d sit him down and explain my paranoia over the situation after what happened the first time, and then ask to look through his phone then and there so he doesn’t have a chance to delete anything. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If he’s arsey and defensive then he’s hiding something. If he’s understanding and hands it over straight away then he’s more likely to be telling the truth.

ladymelbourne1926 · 24/05/2018 09:23

What was the picture of? Without knowing that it's hard to tell.

StormcloakNord · 24/05/2018 09:23

I think it depends on what the photo was of.

You could be being paranoid - but also your paranoia could be well placed. Was it just a selfie? A topless one? I'm assuming it wasn't a dick pic as he insisted there was nothing sexual about it...

Pandoraphile · 24/05/2018 09:24

I'm the most impatient person in the world but I think in this situation I would keep quiet, watch and wait. Oh and go through all jackets/pockets/drawers, etc to see if there's any incriminating evidence. And I'd definitely be trying to access his internet history and social media accounts. So tough for you though Thanks

rainbowdashflip · 24/05/2018 09:24

Oh fgs.

Have you ever heard of context?

What the hell was the picture of Hmm

ChaseRubbleRocky · 24/05/2018 09:25

So is it a none sexual photo but you think it was part of a conversation with someone else?
I do kind of see where you're coming from, I wouldn't have questioned it but the fact he didn't just say 'it was part of a conversation with 'friends name'' or 'I took it to show you then forgot to send it' etc is a bit strange.
It could be he's fed up with you being suspicious so not explaining himself out of principal, but surely itd just be easier to tell you what it was about.

PetulantPolecat · 24/05/2018 09:26

There’s an advert for Fjord Norway’s breakthaking hikes on his thread with a stunning photo. I was thinking that was the one you found and your DH went on a great holiday and kept it a secret Grin

hellsbellsmelons · 24/05/2018 09:28

Do you have kids together?
It really does depend on what the photo was.
But you trust your gut.
Always trust your instincts.
Do you have access to his devices?
Can you do a bit of snooping?

Essexmummy88 · 24/05/2018 09:29

Impossible to say. If it wasn’t a sexual photo why would that indicate something dodgy?

MrsKOBrien · 24/05/2018 09:29

Check his history if you can. He is probably chatting up women on internet chat sites.

2cats2many · 24/05/2018 09:30

Impossible to comment in a meaningful way without knowing what the picture was.

Jaxtellerswife · 24/05/2018 09:30

Was it a posed selfie?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/05/2018 09:30

Him lying on a chaise longue in a leopard skin thong? Suspicious.
A head shot of him smiling? Probably innocent. Leave it.
A puppy in a basket? Come on, you're being paranoid.

Pompom42 · 24/05/2018 09:32

I can see where you're coming from. I suppose if the trust isn't there then you will be looking at things that you might otherwise ignore. I'm a great believer in gut instinct though, my gut has been correct every single time

VladmirsPoutine · 24/05/2018 09:35

This is rather odd, you write a post leaving out the most important bit of information Confused

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 24/05/2018 09:35

ILostIt
Grin

CoatsProtectionLeague · 24/05/2018 09:36

Sorry I typed a massive long opening text which I fluffed up then salvaged what I could with copy and paste.

The photo was in the bath.

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 09:37

So it was of him?

CoatsProtectionLeague · 24/05/2018 09:38

I cannot check anything
Phone locked with pin
Laptop with cleaning software after every session.

I only have my gut to go on.

OP posts:
VivaKondo · 24/05/2018 09:38

But even if the picture is innocent, it could be about something the OP wasn’t involved in (let say a picture of a building she has never or her DH has, allegedly never been to either)

What would rattle me is his reaction and automatically pointing out the photo wasn’t inappropriate or sexual. Why being defensive in that particular way straight away to a very innocent question about a random photo??

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