Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

In what way is a photo of someone in the bath not inappropriate? It's only 'not inappropriate' if it's being sent, deliberately, to the partner of the person in question. Who, in this case, didn't ask for it, didn't know it existed and wasn't expecting anything other than a picture of a kitchen!

So, of course it was inappropriate. Just because his dick isn't poking out doesn't make it not-sexual either. If I was sending a picture of me with my dog to someone I was intending to sleep with it would be sexual, because of the intent, not because of what it showed...

In what way is a photo of someone in the bath not inappropriate? It's only 'not inappropriate' if it's being sent, deliberately, to the partner of the person in question. Who, in this case, didn't ask for it, didn't know it existed and wasn't expecting anything other than a picture of a kitchen!

Exactly!!!

Agree with Zaphod. I'm still slightly confused as to how it's possible to accidentally take a naked pic of yourself in the bath. On my phone camera you'd have to press the 'reverse camera' button first and then take the pic.

If I was sending a picture of me with my dog to someone I was intending to sleep with it would be sexual, because of the intent, not because of what it showed

Sorry, what?

Agree with Zaphod. As for "not being sexual" a bath picture may not be explicit, but it is undeniably suggestive. Like completely sexually suggestive.

i may seem stupid but i do see a huge difference in bath photos. For example I would send a female friend a photo of my wine/book in the bath. without me in it (or my feet in it). or my face with a face mask on it maybe. So was the photo actually from his neck down/knee up?

If I was sending a picture of me with my dog to someone I was intending to sleep with it would be sexual, because of the intent, not because of what it showed

What the fuck?!?!?!

Sorry A47, didn't mean to bring my poor dog into disrepute there. I just meant that if I took a selfie of me sitting cuddling my dog, or something and then sent it to someone I was, ahem, 'courting', they would read between the lines and see it as 'you could be here, on my lap'...

That's all. My dog and I are purely innocent.

If I was sending a picture of me with my dog to someone I was intending to sleep with it would be sexual, because of the intent, not because of what it showed

What the actual fuck?

People can be fucking weird, that's the difference. Maybe he sent his male friend a photo of his new hair cut and he happened to be in the bath. Which is why I asked if she had asked him who he was sending it to and if it was a head shot or more.

I don’t want to throw a 20 year marriage down the toilet

^This is what OH is betting on.
But there's no good side to the photo: he has form, he is evasive, he locks down his messaging.

If it walks like a duck, et cetera.

Website called pipl.com, that might give more info.

"If I was sending a picture of me with my dog to someone I was intending to sleep with it would be sexual, because of the intent, not because of what it showed"

I'm assuming she was meaning a picture like this.

LOL @pigmcpigface. My hair is nothing like that...

Neither is my dog, come to that.

Maybe he sent his male friend a photo of his new hair cut and he happened to be in the bath

Give over.

Totally agree with SharpieHoarder - if it walks like a duck....

Genuinely don't understand why anyone would a) take a photo in the bath b) send said photo to anyone, at all, ever.

Also the context is everything - if it is him with a 'sexy grin' and a massive hard on then yep, probably meant for someone else - or should have at least pretended it was for you and styled it out. If the bath is overflowing with bubbles, he has a shower cap on and is gurning holding a rubber duck with a beard made of bubbles then maybe not!? (still proper weird thing to do at all either way mind you).

Is that David Hasslehoff 🤔🙂

OP was it of his face? I assumed you meant a dick pic

Haha exactly allforequality.

I do agree, he sounds like a duck. BUT, I'd be demanding answers before jumping the gun. The OP asked a question with nothing to bulk out the situation. Pretty pointless really.

sockunicorn

I don't want to be sexist but I don't think men do that sort of thing. I would have 0 problems sending a female friend a pic of me in a bra, but I could never imagine a man sending a male friend a pic of them in briefs asking what they thought. Same with bath pics etc. It just isn't what they are like IME.

Sorry but he sounds dodgy as fuck.

It’s hard when you’ve been together 20 years. You want to be sure you’re not overreacting, it’s understandable 💐

On my phone it’s shockingly easy to accidentally send the wrong photo.

However, it’s NOT easy to take a (good) photo accidentally (I’ve plenty of inside my pocket, the floor etc!). The question you should ask yourself, that no one else here can answer, is ‘Would DH just take this photo of himself if he didn’t have another woman to send it to?’ Some people would, some people wouldn’t. IF you gut us saying ‘No, DH wouldn’t take it unless it was to send to someone’ then LISTEN to your gut. Pack him a bag and tell him to find somewhere else to live. His reply ‘There’s nothing wrong with that photo’ could just be defensive after accidentally sending a photo of himself being vain or not. You’re really the only one that knows him and can answer.

Sorry Zaphod I can't stop laughing about the reactions to your sexual dog pic comments

I agree, a bath selfie of a man is bound to be suggestive. I mean look at this Sex God

I cannot honestly think of a single innocent reason to take a photo of oneself in the bath. Can anyone?

Also the context is everything - if it is him with a 'sexy grin' and a massive hard on then yep, probably meant for someone else - or should have at least pretended it was for you and styled it out. If the bath is overflowing with bubbles, he has a shower cap on and is gurning holding a rubber duck with a beard made of bubbles then maybe not!? (still proper weird thing to do at all either way mind you)

Oh gosh, I know I shouldn't laugh, but that is so funny. Funnyness aside through, this poster has a very good point.

Is it a sexy picture or not?

And have you asked him "Why have you taken a selfie in the bath?" He needs to have a good answer to that question.

Also, why on earth don't you know each others phone pins? Next time you go out "forget" your phone, and ask to borrow his. Just make up an excuse, like "shit, I promised I'd call Mum to tell her about x/y/z, she will be waiting on that call"....if he won't hand his phone over freely, and without messing with it first, then you have a real problem.

Also, I know it's unlikely, but what if something happened and the only phone you had access to was his...you can't call anyone!! Just stupid.