Oh fucking shit. My Dad has accidentally sent me an email revealing that he is paying for sex.

[namechangedforethicaldilemma]

My Dad has been married to my step-mum for quite a few years, she is lovely, I really like her. My Dad originally split from my Mum when I was tiny because he cheated on her.

I'm borrowing my dad's holiday home next week, so he has been forwarding me emails between himself and the hire car provider as he has organised it with a guy he knows. He has accidentally forwarded me a thread between himself and a 21 year old (vom. I'm 34) where they discuss meeting for sex and money being exchanged.

What in the name of holy fuck do I do now? I'm fucking shaking.

Reply sorry those dates don't work for you!

Do nothing, pretend you never saw it? Or forward it back to him. Goodness OP that’s really a difficult one and I m probably no help.

What a horrible situation to put you in.

Tell him to tell your SM or you will? Do you think she knows?

I wouldn’t want to speak to my dad again. That’s vile.

Absolutely nothing. Delete it. Never speak of it.

Oh god that is horrific.

Oh that is an awkward position to be in, I bet part of you wants to keep quiet and the other part wants to say something (for the sake of your stepmother who may not be aware this is happening...plus each time he has sex with someone else he is putting your stepmums health at risk if he catches (and passes on) anything nasty

Could you reply on that email just to your dad (remove the other woman from the reply) and put hi dad, don't think you meant to send me this...I think we need to meet up and talk...

And then meet him somewhere neutral where your conversation won't be heard by prying people...

Don't be tempted to forward it to your stepmother until you have spoken to your father first, as once she knows what he has done, she can't unknow it, if you know what I mean

Forward it back to him, was this for me !!!!

Really feel for you, what a horrid situation to be in.
I think I would pretend I hadn’t seen it and delete it.....

Oh god that’s awful. I agree with the pp. ‘Dad! This doesn’t make sense. Was it meant for me?’

Oh no!

What is your relationship with your dad usually like?

What is his relationship with your SM like?

Either you must act straight away (reply to him with a "This was not for me" email and see how he responds) or nothing for now. Go on holiday. Try to forget about it. Put the email in Junk folder or delete it and see if you want to mention it to him in person.

I think I'd delete it and pretend it never happened.

I'm a mess. Elderflower has it exactly right. My poor Step-Mum, if she doesn't know...but what if she does know?

I won't do anything at all yet. This fucking sucks. I can't even really tell DP about it can I!?! He is friends with my Dad!

Omg, how awful.

If you really get on with your step mum then maybe you should say something? I really don't know. The easiest thing to do would be to delete it and pretend it never happened but if she doesn't know..

Wow that's a really difficult one; I don't think there is a right or wrong answer about what you should do:

1. delete the email, pretend you never saw it and never speak of it. Depends if you think you can manage this an remain 'normal' with him. Might also back fire if he realises what he has done and contacts you to talk about it.
2. reply to the email, this might allow you to take your time and say exactly what you want without getting cross, emotional etc. But may also result in a backwards and forwards email exchange that you might not want
3. Call him or arrange to see him and have it out face to face. Establish if SM knows etc. You might find it easier face to face to get a feel for whether you believe what he is saying etc. Good luck

Say you'll pass on any added "extras"

Do nothing.

Delete the mail and forget it.

I would talk to your dad about it and tell him he needs to speak to your step mum . Can't believe how many people say delete and keep quite that's so wrong what if it was your partner wouldn't you wanna know or if it was your mum getting the dirty done on them . Don't be part of his disrespect to this poor lady do the right thing

I'm trying to imagine myself in the position of your step mum. I think I'd want you to tell me, gently, but with the emails as proof.

I agree- ignore it completely

I'd reply with a "sent in error" message & then wait.

If he didn't get back to me within a couple of days maximum with a reasonable explanation I'd be ringing him to ask & then speaking to stepmum.

Exactly what sly said you would wanna know if it was you
Best way to think if your step mum sent that email and was cheating on your dad would you let it go and delete it or would you tell him if it was the other way round

I would delete and pretend it never happened tbh.

I'm trying to imagine myself in the position of your step mum. I think I'd want you to tell me, gently, but with the emails as proof

This, exactly.

I honestly don't think I could delete it and think nothing more of it knowing that your stepmum is likely none the wiser and living a life that both puts her at risk and that she is not able to choose her own fate in. How very, very difficult for you OP.

As a pp asks, what is your relationship with your dad like? In my mind this needs to be a watershed moment when truths are told. They can be big turning points in people's lives, and they sometimes lead to better things for the people involved. And as you've found out, they often come about through some tiny everyday mistake - a wrong mouse click, an phone accidentally l left unlocked etc.; and they often involve she poor unsuspecting party (you) becoming involved through no fault or action of their own. That doesn't mean you aren't involved at this point, and it doesn't mean you have no right to act on what you think the rights and wrongs are in this situation.

You didn't choose to know this, but you do. Be you about what you do next - that's the best thing you can do.

Either delete and ignore, or reply back with links to STI clinics