35 weeks pregnant, DP in bed with someone else

[Stargirl17]

Fuck.
He had a few friends around last night after the football, I had some work to do so I popped down to say hi but left them to it & went to bed around midnight.
He didn’t come to bed. I just got up for a wee assuming he was on the sofa but he’s asleep in the spare bed with another woman (his ex girlfriend).
WTAF?

[BigBairyHollocks]

Oh OP I am so sorry.I assume you mean they have slept together? Where is he now?

[Frequency]

Wake them up?

[Purpleneonpinkunicorns]

I would wake them both up with water over them both and kick them both out, even if nothings has happened why on earth would he get into bed with a ex instead of getting into bed with yourself. Keep your chin up and so sorry to hear this.

[Zoflorabore]

Oh my goodness op.
Was she there when you went down earlier?

Surely nobody would be that cheeky to be in bed with ex with their pregnant partner in the next room?

Hope you're ok

[MadeForThis]

Wake them up and tell them to leave.

If it's safe.

[Spoony84]

Is this for real? What is your relationship normally like? Does he speak to his ex,?

[marmitecrumpets]

Are you okay OP?

As hard as it's going to be, try and stay calm.

Hand hold

[Stargirl17]

I have no idea if they have had sex, he looked fully clothed so trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. He still chose to get in bed with her rather than coming to his own bed and me...
I’m too shocked to wake them up, I don’t even know what I’d say

[Spoony84]

Take a pic and stick the picture on fb so everyone can see what an inconsiderate bastard he is probably achieves nothing

[Stargirl17]

Yes unfortunately this is for real :(

I knew she was here and it was planned for her to stay over - it was years ago they were together and she’s friends with some of his friends so I’ve met her quite a few times. Never had any reason to think there was anything to watch out for.

And I thought we had a good relationship up until now, he’s normally lovely.

I’m feeling pretty stupid right now.

[Zoflorabore]

Shocked or not op ( and I understand that ) you cannot surely leave them in there?

I would turn the bloody lights on or get the hoover out.
I'm gobsmacked at this. I would throw them both out.

Whether or not anything has happened, he has totally disrespected you and your relationship by choosing to get in bed with her.

You will not be able to sleep knowing what you know.

[Purpleneonpinkunicorns]

I would seriously wake them both up and throw them out, it doesn't matter if they have slept together he chose to get into bed with her than yourself and that is not fair and isn't on, get out the hoover or throw some water on them as why should u not be able to sleep now but they can deffo wake them and show them the door

[redfairy]

photos and a bucket of water. how dare he? I'm not sure how it makes it better that he's clothed or may or may not have had sex with her.
Can you honestly think of an explanation he could give you that would even be plausible? He was drunk and took a wrong turn? She enticed him? He just plain can't remember shrug
If he found you in bed with another man, clothed or not, how do you think he would react to any of these explanations. Please don't minimise this- at best it is total disrespect: at worst he is a cheat that thinks nothing of sleeping with another woman under his pregnant partners nose.
My heart goes out to you

[offupop]

It's not on.

Wake him up, get him back to your bed.

Sorry you're going through this x

[RebelliousStarrChild]

seriously you really need to wake them, you can't just sit there stressing and waiting for them to wake up. Wake his ass up so he can explain himself.

[NerNerNerNerBATMAN]

Oh fgs he's fallen asleep next to an ex FULLY CLOTHED and you're all saying they should have water thrown over them??

If he'd had sex with her do you really think he'd have been arsed to put all his clothes back on?

Far more likely that he's had a bit too much to drink and crashed where he was, or they just got chatting and he fell asleep.

Just ask what happened in the morning. It's not nice I'll agree, but no need to go in all crazy on them.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Far more likely that he's had a bit too much to drink and crashed where he was, or they just got chatting and he fell asleep.

Given that he’s fully clothed, this is more likely than that they had sex. But it still begs the question - why was he in the spare bedroom with his ex chatting or crash-out drunk?

[Zoflorabore]

NerNer

Would you feel the same if it was you this was happening to?

Probably not.

Funny how you're the only one who has responded this way.

The rest of us would be filling the jug or whipping out the Dyson...

And remember that op is heavily pregnant.
This behaviour is not on.

[Purpleneonpinkunicorns]

NERNER...he shouldn't be in bed with his ex NO MATTER what the situation, the fact that he chose to get into bed with his ex for ANY reason is not on, how would you feel if you was heavily pregnant and your other half done that to you? I bet u wouldn't be so 'calm' ...he's been disrespectful no matter whether they have had sex or not and there are no excuses for it

[peanut2017]

OP I couldn't just let them sleep there regardless if they didn't actually sleep together. It's disrespectful to you. Sorry you are going through this

[Bahhhhhumbug]

Wow. Any other women round tonight or just her? Was she only one slept over and is she clothed on the bed or in it?
"Definitely take a pic, then see what happens in the morning. I would be listening to how they greet each other first thing and if they actike nothings happened you've got the pic.
Oh and l would say either she's an ex friend or your his exw, the choice is his.
Don't let him/them play it down by saying it aS just a drunken crash onto the nearest bed or he didn't want to disturb you, sex or not they ha e crossed a massive line, sleeping with someone is a very intimate thing that's why being in a sexual or intimate relationship is called 'sleeping with someone' ffs.

[ChickenMom]

Do not take this crap OP. It’s disrespectful and yes they could have had sex. Flies open etc you don’t have to take your trousers off to have sex. He’s chosen to sleep with her rather than you. Go in, put the lights on and at the very least get rid of her. They are cosying up under your nose.

[nursy1]

Omg. Take the photo. Wake them up, just tell her “ you - out, and I never want you in my house again”. then to him say, what the bloody hell do you think you are doing here with a pregnant wife waiting for you in your own bedroom!”

Even if “ innocent” it’s serious!

[NoKnownFather]

That's just not on!! I do like the photo first, followed by a bucket of water....even a cup, would do, then show them the door.

OP...are you OK? I would put some of his clothes in a bag and leave outside the front door for him to collect during the day 'but' I would not let him in the house. He can find somewhere else to live, it's not your problem.

So sorry for you, it's bad enough he's doing this but to do it when you are 35 wks makes it doubly bad.

[TalkFastThinkSlow]

I actually agree with NerNer, I think some of you are really overreacting.

Instead of doing something childish like throwing water over them, why don't you just wake him up, ask him why he didn't come to bed and actually have an intelligent conversation about it.

falling asleep next to someone does not equal cheating.